Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

Of course they don't pay "the market rate".
They're your children, not lodgers.
Ye gods, some people know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

I thought YABU and then I saw they wfh but you don’t seem to - in which case YABVU!

People working from home absolutely need heat. For parents to pull rank and refuse to allow this is absurd and unreasonable. Some employers require wfh employees to be practically chained to their screens. You can't get up and walk around or make yourself a hot drink or even use the loo according to some employers, fgs. And you can't present yourself in online meetings looking as if you're kitted out for a polar expedition.

I'm guessing these parents never had to sit for eight hours in a cold room, perhaps trying to type with frozen fingers.

Situations like this can lead to a breakdown in relationships between parents and adult children. Acknowledging that the adult children are trying to do what their jobs require when they wfh is sometimes beyond the ability of some parents, and the frustration and resentment of those young adults can cloud relationships for the rest of their lives.

Ask for more in rent if bills are a problem?

In general I'd agree with you but not when it's literally snowing outside

Work from home with an electric blanket draped over your shoulders?

THIS!!!

I moved back home for a bit after uni. My dad never puts the heating because he has a log burning stove, so 2 rooms are warm and the rest is like a fridge. I used to dread having a shower as a teenager. Luckily I wasn't wfh though so could just stay in the warm room in the evening!

I don't think I could have lived there for long as an adult.

I’d they’re paying board then they get a say I reckon. You wouldn’t sit in a rental with no heating in the freezing cold.

Myself and DH work from home and use small heaters to warm up the rooms we work in, rather than heat the whole house. It is bitterly cold here today and we need some form of heating, but we can't justify heating the whole house either. It doesn't have to be no heating at all versus heating on all day.

Surely it's up to each household how they do this?
Some will he happy with a heating free-for-all, some will have set hours, some will suggest space heaters, some might settle on asking for a contribution on WFH days. Different circumstances, different people, different properties.

Frankly I'd be horrified if someone in my home was left without a source of heat when it's -4 outside, simply because I wasn't in; that seems unnecessarily mean.

Anÿone paying rent has a right to be warm in their home

Not everyone can afford to have the heating blasting all day. My teenagers would live in a sauna if they could. Damn right I control the heating.

Surely they are living as a family and not in a dictatorship? The kids and I used to discuss this kind of thing and come to an agreement.

I don't charge my adult children rent. If they are uncomfortably cold of course they can turn the heating on.

Wtf 😂 I find it so depressing to charge your kids rent. But if you do is that not to pay for the extra cost of bills? Surely these parents aren’t expecting their kids to contribute to their mortgage?!

My eldest thought anything but a light teeshirt was an outrage...

Funny how he wraps up now in his own place

Daughter is 14, gets home before me, I've told her she is welcome to put the heating on if she's cold when she gets in. If kids say they are cold, put the heating on.

I actively avoid going to my parents house for this reason, it's always freezing cold. Told to wrap up, don't much enjoy sitting in our coats indoors.

Utter rot. We have the heating set for the coldest person. me.

If the parents don't want the heating on because of the cost then they need to charge their kids more if they WFH to cover the cost, or ask them to pay more towards heating bills in the winter with the money they save on commuting to work.

If you are working, you need the environment to be a reasonable temperature - the house shouldn't be so cold you need to sit at your desk in a coat, scarf and gloves, but they shouldn't expect to sit there in a t-shirt either. Reasonable to layer up a bit, but there's a point where even when you do that you're still cold sat at a desk, and that affects your ability to concentrate. Surely there has to be a bit of compromise both sides here?

Absolutely this.

@Sunnings Exactly! It is easy to live in a very warm house when you are not the one paying the bill.

@Downtherabbithole19 Temperatures that people see as warm in their home seem to be increasing with every generation.

I can't be the first poster to call reverse surely.

This sort of misogyny should not stand, especially not on a site aimed at women. Disgusting comment @NavyOrca

I think it depends on a few things. Firstly, what is considered "warm"? Some people want their houses toasty hot. I would hate this and if it were my house, I would say no to someone having it at, for example, 23+ degrees. So if my child wanted this, then the answer would be no. Secondly, do they want it at a temperature which means they can walk around in vest tops and leggings, or are they actually prepared to dress for the season. If not, then I think they could do that first before turning up the heating.