Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

[oktheber]

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

Why would they? It's their home, not a lodging house.

Not if you have to look professional and presentable for online meetings with clients/customers, no.

YABU and also sound bitter for whatever reason.

If you live at home and pay towards the bills you get a say in when the heating goes on.

I do, it has been 6C in my house today and I did my full work hours.

If putting the heating on is outside the budget then I suggest an oil filled electric radiator

They're quite economical and very effective

Only if you are paying a reasonable amount rather than a token amount.

Only bill payers get to decide when heating is on and to what temperature!

6 degrees. I would rather go to the office

or they could live independently and cover their own bills at a non-subsidised rate.

I set the heating so the house was always warm. It was their home. I wouldn't want my cats to be cold never mind my family.
If you are living hand to mouth and are struggling fair enough, come up with a solution jointly. Living in a cold house is miserable.

Living together = team work.
Otherwise, it will never work. Communication is the key.
So, I would talk to get to a solution that works for everyone. I would not want my child to be cold, neither I would accept being in debt due to the heating.
We have warm clothes, we wear layers, we talk about the temp to set, we have a smart meter, so we keep an eye.

There's a difference between you deciding to put up with that and expecting others to though. DH and I don't have the house very warm when WFH, and if I'm just working at home and have no meetings I'll layer up and wear my trackies and a big hoodie! But there's a difference between me saying I'm fine putting up with a bit of discomfort and imposing that on others, because discomfort you have chosen yourself is different to discomfort imposed on you against your will.

How mean. So if an elderly relative asked you to turn the heat up, would you say no? Ask for a bank transfer?

I wouldn’t expect my adult children to ask me if they wanted the heating on. If money was tight then that’s different. I also wouldn’t expect it on more than an hour or so. I just go to the office for warmth.

I expect those who come to a compromise and discuss it with the adult children like, well, adults rather than going with "my house my rules" will end up with a better relationship with said children in the long run...

I'd rather work at the bus depot.

I strongly suspect that, too!

If they're not your adult children then it's really none of your business.

Depends who pays the heating bill I guess.
I’m assuming it’s you. Maybe tell them they have to pay a contribution (separate from rent)?

This reminds me of my mum growing up, in Scotland, she used to leave the windows open in winter to 'toughen us up', no heating

I don't visit often now as an adult.

The thermostat is on a timer at our house so it’s never going to be totally freezing. It’s 18.5 between 7.30am till 10pm. The issue is when people have very different ideas what warm is. My neighbour kept hers at 23 day and night, I would feel uncomfortable at that level of heat.

Bill payers should get final say. DS pays some rent it no way near covers his costs.

I am now imagining Zoom meetings with everyone huddled in their duvets - I guess it might develop an 'esprit de corps'.

There are HMO landlords who put locks on radiators/heating controls so that tenants can't turn them up. I've also known people who were lodgers who were left freezing because the live-in landlord was too tight to properly warm the house.

Surely that poster is just taking the p1ss?

No one could work at 6 and no one house gets down to 6 😂😂