To think people in their 30s and beyond who still live with their parents are lacking in independence?

[EdgyExpert]

I’m starting to feel like there’s an increasing trend of adults in their 30s and beyond living with their parents. While I get the financial pressures, I’m wondering if this is an issue of independence. AIBU to think that if someone is over 30 and still living at home, they should take responsibility for their own life and not rely on their parents? Does this indicate a lack of maturity?

No, it indicates that rents are extortionate and realistically I have no hope of ever getting on the housing ladder.

In some cases maybe, but I think finances and lack of affordable local housing play the biggest part.

My brother who is 40 still lives at home with my parents. Claims he cannot move out as he wouldn't know how to.....!!

No, I think that wages haven’t risen in line with house prices and rents so there are loads of people who don’t earn enough to move out, even though they are desperate to.

Rather a sweeping judgement, no?

Until landlords accept “independence” as a way to pay rent, or sellers accept it as payment for their house, I guess these independent but skint people will have to rely on parents then

BIL lived with parents while saving a deposit for a house and stayed once the house was brought as he did a massive renovation. Moved out once the house was sorted. Definitely more to do with house prices and affordability

You can't generalise. There will be a million reasons. Minimum wage jobs, zero hours contracts, extortionate rents, split up with partner and home to catch their breath, to staying to help sick or disabled parents, helping with sibling raising, cultural tradition of staying at home till married, families actually enjoying living together...etc, etc.

I don't think you can say "I get it's difficult financially but..." For many people that is an insurmountable obstacle. I'm glad people aren't settling for crap relationships just to double up on income. I do think if mine are living with me at that age I will ensure it's more of a house share and they will contribute in every way though.

In our town, studio flats start at £1,200 a month. Money down the drain if the parents have space/there's a good relationship between them. Why shouldn't they stay and save if they can?

Also, go back 70 - 80 years and it was definitely more usual to have two or three generations living in the same house. My sister lived in with my parents in my Nan's house till she was about 6. I came along once they had got their own place and had more room. So it's a bit of a cycle, and it's maybe coming back round again.

I was lacking in money. My mum let me stay rent free (only paying for shared house essentials and some of the bills) and I was able to save enough for a house deposit.. and it was only enough by 34 because I met my partner, got serious, and found he and his parents had done the same. Id have still not been able to afford one on my own. Neither of us would have been able to afford one if we had been renting.

To be fair we're not very mature though. Both took AL today and spent it playing video games together. Not too bothered about changing that :)

My sister lived with our parents until she was 34. They feared she would never leave. By the time she was 38 she was married and had a child. So: you never know!

I would recommend not being judgemental no matter what 'the trend' is. Not everyone is the same and as others have said there could be a myriad of reasons why this happens.

Is it ideal? No - probably not. Is it any of your business? No - probably not.

There have always been adult children who have stayed with their parents, however there may be more now due to the current economic and housing situation. It's very expensive to buy or rent as a single person and beyond the means of many.

Both my DCs have spent a year living abroad independently but they need the financial backing of living with us here because rents and bills are ludicrous.

Adults seem a lot younger now than they were when I was growing up. For many it wasn't unusual to get a job at 16 and move out at 18. You could be married and have children in your early 20s.

We were champing at the bit to move out and get independence. My nephew is still living at home at 34 and has no plans to move out. His mum, who works full time, cooks his dinner and I think he pays a nominal amount towards bills and doesn't do any chores.

I can't imagine how he'd cope if he had to look after himself.

To be fair we're not very mature though. Both took AL today and spent it playing video games together. Not too bothered about changing that :)

😅😂😀 Love it -

Massive generalisation there op don't you think?
I have a weird old uncle who never moved out of my grandparents home.
I also have younger colleagues who don't stand a cat in hell's chance of saving up the 30k+ needed for a 2 bed flat deposit alone before the age of 30 in our expensive city. With increasing interest rates on top of increasing house prices they need an even bigger LTV ratio to get an affordable mortgage. However some of their parents love having them there as they contribute to the household, and even look after the parents.

So you move out to live with a partner. Rent/buy a home, relationship breaks down, now as a single person, you can't afford rent/mortgage on top of all the other bills as a single person. Unfortunately, you're 31 and need help both financially and emotionally, to sort yourself out, but you aren't allowed to move back with the people who love you most, in case some twat thinks they're immature and lack independence.

I think this post shows a lack of immaturity, empathy and logical thinking.

This has not happened to me fyi, but I can see how easily it could happen to anybody.

Ever occured to you that they might be doing it for the parent's benefit?

If everyone over 30 moved out, a lot more people would be living on the streets.

Yawn

I'm 44 and living with my OH and their parents. Hopefully we will move out next month, but this has already lasted a lot longer than intended.

I don't know if the OP has noticed, but there's a huge housing crisis, and so it's obvious that people will end up living with family and friends more than otherwise for a wide variety of reasons.

We can't just wish the housing crisis out of existence. It has consequences.

Rent on a small flat is 1500-2500 where I live. Commute to central London about £400 a month.

Don't know how someone who has just left home is supposed to manage that and save for a deposit.