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AIBU?

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SIL Christmas - can't put into words why its winding me up

402 replies

Lanzarotelady · 20/11/2024 10:03

So Dh is one of 2, he is the youngest, since his dad died 23 yrs ago, we have had his mum ( and Sister ) for Christmas day ( on the years we went to my mum she still came ) When his mum died 2 years ago ( coming up to the 3rd Christmas ) we have still had his Sister for both of those.

We go to my mums on Xmas Day, yes she is 78 but she has a bigger house and she can't get up/down my drive, she gets a lot of help to do this from my brothers

But this is what is winding me up and I cannot articulate why, we still have to take my SIL with us.

She is 60, still working, but single, has a wide circle of friends, nieces etc, is working f/t but she will not make any other arrangements.

Now of course, I won't leave her out, I won't see her on her own etc, but when she comes if we ask her to bring a trifle she will bring one and one cream, there will be 14 of us, she will bring some biscuits - surely common sense dictates you bring more than one bloomin trifle

I don't know why, but its really starting to bug me, why can't she start to widen her circle, start to make her own plans,

I think what really annoyed me, she recently had a meal at a restaurant to celebrate her birthday, invited all her family and friends, but not my mum who has invited her to everything!

OP posts:
Fairyduster24 · 26/11/2024 09:04

Lanzarotelady · 20/11/2024 12:10

I do get her a present, ie wine and a candle etc as everyone else is getting a present and I would have for her to be left out.

She doesn't buy for my mum.

She will bring wine/biscuits etc, but even my mum commented recently about it being very one sided.

You keep saying that she doesn't bring a gift but she does, you say that (on top of the trifle) she brings something like wine and biscuits.

When asked if you buy her a gift you said yes wine and a candle. Which is a similar type of gift.

I don't get it

Negroany · 26/11/2024 09:06

"dear husband's cousin, I'm sorry we won't be able to have you over this Christmas, I hope you have a lovely time. Husband will catch up with you in the summer"

Just do it.

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