To think needing 9 hours solid sleep to function is ridiculous

[NightFeeds]

That’s it really. Life feels like it is ruled by DH needing 9 hours sleep a night to function. No time for downtime after DC bedtime as it’s then his bedtime. Any disturbances and he’s ruined for days. I can’t compute but realise I’m probably being horrible and this is just a normal need I need to be more respectful of. I’d like to know what is considered normal by others

@NavyTurtle

you sleep for nearly 11 hours a night?!

Who got up for dc in the night of you can’t be disturbed.

How did you meet and go out with your dh if you have to be in bed by 8pm

@NavyTurtle so how would that work if you had small children like the OP?

Really interested to know how those who need a long unbroken nights sleep actually ended up meeting someone, going out with them and then getting married

Does dating only happen after 11 pm in your world?

Surely there's a difference between preferring that much sleep and needing it to the extent that going short impairs your ability to live your life? And in the case of the latter, if this is getting worse over time, surely getting it checked out by a GP to make sure there's no apnoea involved is sensible? (I know a weirdly high number of people who've developed this in middle age so it feels way more common than I knew!)

Mitochondrial functioning is getting better understood all the time and there are definitely people who have naturally lower energy levels who would therefore need more rest to cope (and there's currently not a lot that can be done about this although some people think Q10 makes a difference) but if it's a new thing, it feels sensible to find out if there's anything causing it that can be helped.

We are talking about people going to bed at 8 and 9pm

Dating in my day happened after 7pm because that was the time it took to get back from work, shower, eat and dress to go out

If you have to be in bed by 8 or 9pm how does that work

@BrunetteHarpy this! These people are talking about needing to go to bed 8pm or 9pm every night! Crazy! How does anyone have a social life?!

I was dating in London, and mostly it happened immediately after work, with no going home to change, even when I was living just off Oxford Street. I mean, I’m not someone who needed to be in bed by nine, but I could probably have made it on a regular basis if I wanted to.

Well, it’s fairly clear on Mn that lots of people don’t have any kind of social life, get into their pyjamas at 6 pm as soon as they’re in the door, and regard invitations of any kind as a tiresome faff. Yet they are married. Similarly with the people who don’t have a single friend and claim to have never formed any kind of connection with other people. Who are also married.

I can only conclude that both types made exceptions to the ‘being in bed by eight’ and ‘having no social life or ability to connect to others’ things when it came to something they considered important, ie finding someone to marry. After which they retired from the world outside their front door.

We're asleep by 10 and awake by 7. Sometimes 10:30-6:30 so that's 8/9 hours which I definitely need!!

I think it's just a habit - I love sleeping for 9 hours but can manage well on 6-7 provided i have an occasional lie in. You DH needs to make an effort to have a relationship

Everyone is different remember, you said it on a thread yesterday. Your changed persona didn’t last long.

Considering my dc are in their 40s you should realise that when i was in my 20s I obviously had loads more energy so of course I got up to them. My middle dc did not sleep through until he was 5. I met my now dh 16 years ago at a dinner party. So yes I did go out in the evening. I have never been a night owl. I hate staying up late. I am a morning person.

Sometimes, if I am lucky. Other times, like now at 3.55am I look at socials or read the paper.

9 hours some nights? Yes fair enough, everyone needs a bit more sleep sometimes.

9 hours every night? LOL no way.

Plus demanding everyone else tip toes around him and sets the whole agenda for the whole family? Absolutely not.

He sounds like an insufferable bore