Social services HELP - any social workers out there please

[Hellothere1982]

Partner and I in total shock - partner was feeling very down and told GP he had been feeling suicidal one night (first time this has ever happened and he was just down - nowhere near doing anything stupid) and the next thing we know is because he has a shot gun licence social services have had to be called. Apparently this is standard practice. We have two children never any issues and I am currently 7 months pregnant - adore being parents and do everything for our kids. Social services called and a day later said case was closed however the mental damage has been done to us as parents and we are panicking. My midwife also got in touch today about this matter and asked to chat!!!! Any social workers who can answer - Will they contact their schools? Is this a red mark? If the case was closed why is my midwife in touch - shouldn’t this be the end of it now? The children aren’t involved in any way and we are devastated and scared. You hear such horror stories about social services this has really terrified us as parents - thanks so much to anyone who can help x

I'm a social worker (well, I was for a good few years, I don't work as a social worker now, but that's still my registration!).
You're over thinking. The referral is closed. Red marks don't exist. Professionals around your family have acted to ensure everyone is safe and supported. That's it done from the children's services side unless there are more referrals. You don't know exactly what was said to the GP to lead to this response and I'm glad your GP was switched on and acted appropriately. Please make sure you continue to seek advice from professionals where needed as clearly the systems work.

Thank you so much for responding. I appreciate my midwife being in touch just trying to understand if this all escalated further when I was told it was closed. This has been a very stressful time for me and my family and trying to stay calm for last few weeks of my pregnancy x

Sometimes the fears and worries of adults are less important than the safety of children.

Absolutely, I havent heard anything at all from the OP about how her priority is the children, its all about 'Im scared and wont share MH issues now with a GP' and that others have over reacted

Terrible attitude.

Horror stories are just that - horror stories.

SW here - they’re closed the case so you don’t need to worry. If it was open and they assessed, yes they’d speak to school and health, but that’s to gather a fuller picture of any impact on your children. It doesn’t mean there’s going to be awful consequences. Sounds like the police alerted social services and they reviewed and didn’t see any reason to assess or investigate further.

Similar happened to a friend of mine with their parent, although they may have tried to harm themselves (not with the gun). Think the police were also involved.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes they took the guns and the licence. Sending best wishes to you

I absolutely understand you. I’ve seen SS operate in a co-parenting situation and it was terrifying how they behaved. So much power and so little accountability.

In general though, not your case because it’s closed, SS will assess risk and put in support if there is a risk to your children. If they’ve judged there to be a risk you NEED that support, it’s counter productive to try and conceal information or not seek support, because the consequences could end up much worse (as in they may be harmed by the risk which might have escalated due to lack of support)

Hi OP.

I'm not a social worker but I work within social services.

The fact that the case was closed is a good thing and this is usually only done when a social worker has done their assessment/investigations to ensure that the children in your care are not at risk of any harm so take it as a positive that the case is closed.

Although the case is closed, the social worker may have signposted for other professionals within the community to continue to work together with your family to ensure that support is being provided and that you're not just left to your own devices without any support. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means that the social worker is ensuring that (s)he did their job correctly and made sure there is a step down plan in place to ensure you're still receiving some sort of help as unfortunately suicide and other adverse experiences do happen and kids suffer the most so it's best social workers try and keep other professionals involved as the alternative could be far worse.

Thank you so much for understanding x

The mh of your partner wasn't the trigger. It was the mh & guns together. I say this as someone who grew up around properly, safely kept firearms in the UK: there's not much if an overlap between hcp, ss, and an understanding of (legal, safe) firearm ownership.

Does DP need his licence for work?

Yes - I’ve never seen a referral that’s just because a parent has disclosed MH to a GP without any additional risk factors

I totally agree - my husband said he would never ever have gone to the doctor if he knew this would have happened. Of course I’m greatful he did so we can all support him but social services just seems wrong x

Who knew he had guns. Did he tell the dr

Would you like the OP to lie down so you can give her kick, too?

This is clearly a very frightened woman in the late stages of pregnancy who is frightened her children are going to be taken away from her. I wouldn't be thinking straight in this situation either. Have a bit of fucking compassion.

OP, it is always frightening when the state inserts itself into your life but honestly, it is for your benefit here as I think you probably realize. Please don't panic, your children are staying with you and hopefully your husband is being supported with his mental wellbeing. Best of luck with your delivery x

Yes but also when you have a shot gun licence it’s part of your records

The reason the midwife knows is because one of the prime planks of safeguarding is the sharing of information - it often used to be the case that individual professionals had concerns but it is only when these are shared that the full picture emerges.

I find it reassuring that the system has worked in this case. The guns have been removed, as it is not appropriate for someone who is depressed and has talked of suicide to have them - they would rightly not be granted a gun licence in the presence of depression. The case has been closed because SSD can see what the situation is here. What needs to happen now is that your OH needs to be properly monitored and treated for his depression so that he can move on and be well.

Just to put this in perspective, a neighbour of mine blew his brains out with a shotgun - I had been chatting with him the day before and he seemed absolutely fine. The depths of his depression were well hidden.

Gosh you are lovely - can’t thank you enough for your understanding. X

I understand this must have been really distressing, OP, and I think some of the responses here have been unnecessarily harsh. But really, this was just about the guns - somebody who is having thoughts of suicide shouldn't have access to guns, for their own safety and that of those around them, and the system worked as it should to keep everyone safe. I'd imagine the SS referral is standard in those circumstances. They're not worried that the children are being neglected or that you are an unfit parent - they're specifically acting to avoid your family ending up on the front pages of the newspaper as yet another tragedy that could have been prevented. It's closed now so try not to worry about it. I hope your husband gets the help he needs, and that baby arrives safely and soon

I’m a bit baffled why you’d find social services scarier than a person with guns who has expressed suicidal ideation being in close proximity to your children, to be honest. It sounds like involvement is entirely justified, and that appropriate care has been taken to safeguard your children.

Pretty standard as far as thw shotguns go. We (parents) had a neighbours gun for years (as they had a SG licence) as he told the doctor he was depressed so lost his licence. This was about 25 years ago.
I don't know about the SS involvement though, he didn't have anyone else in the house at the time.