to have not lost my rag at ward sister

[TheTidyBear]

Spent 18 hours in A&E with elderly Dad in a corridor after he had a fall, they forgot to give him food, so I had to get some from the canteen, messed up his bloods twice, couldn't get pills into him so I had to help with that that. Also someone coughing up their lungs right next to me and Dad for several hours. There was also an incident where one of the patients in the mental health unit who was having an episode decided to start shouting at everyone in A&E.

Once he got onto a ward, I did a 2 hour journey home got 2 hours sleep, 2 hour journey back

Went to the nurses station on the ward, asked where my Dad is. Ward sister greeted me "what happened to hello, didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

Was I unreasonable to suppress the absolute rage boiling up in me and apologise and not fly off the fucking handle?

I was a nurse. You were treated badly. You should not have been greeted in that way.

I hope you explained that you had such a long wait/journey, etc., and that you were exhausted.

Rude nurse but you should get more sleep

You could complain. It was rude and uncalled for.

But you don't know what her day had been like. And you were unbelievably stressed, had very little sleep, perhaps you were abrupt and came over badly.

I'd say you were magnificently self controlled to not respond, and perhaps just let it go. Hope he's feeling better soon.

Nurses can be treated like shit, but nit greeting does not get into the the top 50 rude things. She was being rude and the comment was uncalled for.

I’m a nurse and would never speak to someone like that. That was rude.

Did you say hello?

Did you just go up to her and say, ‘where’s my dad?’

Yes, you and your dad had a rubbish night, but I’m presuming none of it was the ward sister’s fault? She was a bit rude back at you though, yes.

The coughing man and mentally ill person are also sick patients. You might have a bit more patience and empathy if you remember that.

If I'd have gotten less sleep my Dad would probably be Dead. Some hospitals aren't capable of taking care of elderly patients by themselves these days.

I'm not sure, my tone was very business like though, neither friendly nor impolite

This is a joke right.

I’m a nurse, that nurse was rude! I would never speak to a relative like that!

Hope your dad is ok. A&E where I work is horrific, beds everywhere, corridors, passageways, it’s awful for everyone!

I'm sorry you had something of a shit time in A&E. I had a shit time in one for 14 hours a few weeks ago, at 67 years old and on my own. From what I saw, the staff were having a shit time working too. You aren't the only person having a bad day you know. She might have been politer. So could you. And she was right. Manners cost nothing. "Hi there, I'm looking for my dad?" would have cost you nothing.

My manners are typically very good.

What did you actually say?

Things are hellish in the NHS so I feel for you and your dad. I agree the nurse was rude but nurses are people too and you might be the 50th person demanding something and she snapped. Give each other both some grace.

That echo's my thoughts.

Also she seemed disappointed that I apologised, instead of started an argument.

Hi, I'm looking for "Dad's Name"

Your experience is typical of what happens in AE....manors are free don't take your bad day out on others, could you not have grabbed some sleep at your dad, save the drive??

Surely it is basic manners to say hello or excuse me. Not just walk up and make a demand. Perhaps the nurse was sick of being talked to like she is crap

She was rude and the comment about manners was unnecessary. Imo op’s question was direct, but not rude.

That's the thing though, it's not something I had the headspace to get into, my concern was checking if my Dad had eaten and wasn't laying in his own piss.

I didn't take anything out on anyone.

Ward Sister can get to fuck. Don't complain though 🙏. You have enough on your plate without a nurse Ratchet in the mix.

I've actually been treated by nurses with personality disorders. One was completely demented and would shout one minute and blame me for things I hadn't done ( I was bedridden!), then 5 minutes later would call me darling and lovely. Terrifying.

Anyway I digress. Hopefully she's just an overworked,under appreciated good person having a bad day in a stressful environment with little thanks. That's not your fault. It's best to try keep them on side for the sake of your dad if he's an inpatient atm. I've spent soo much time in hospital, I've seen alot.

Hope things improve for your dad.

I'm confused - you said hi but she complained that you didn't say hello?

No it’s not. The mentally ill person didn’t “decide to shout at everyone”, he’s sick. How ignorant. I hope your post was down to stress and lack of sleep rather than unkindness.
i hope your dad improves.