to have not lost my rag at ward sister

[TheTidyBear]

Spent 18 hours in A&E with elderly Dad in a corridor after he had a fall, they forgot to give him food, so I had to get some from the canteen, messed up his bloods twice, couldn't get pills into him so I had to help with that that. Also someone coughing up their lungs right next to me and Dad for several hours. There was also an incident where one of the patients in the mental health unit who was having an episode decided to start shouting at everyone in A&E.

Once he got onto a ward, I did a 2 hour journey home got 2 hours sleep, 2 hour journey back

Went to the nurses station on the ward, asked where my Dad is. Ward sister greeted me "what happened to hello, didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

Was I unreasonable to suppress the absolute rage boiling up in me and apologise and not fly off the fucking handle?

Abuse is a ridiculous term here. A nurse said a rude comment to you. Move on with your life. Abuse? FGS.

Well if you knew what it was you might be able to identify it in yourself.

OP you have really been treated awfully in this thread . I don’t know what the supposed defenders of the NHS think they are accomplishing—all it makes me think is that you were lucky that mere rudeness from the ward nurse was all you encountered. The absolute hostility to you and the lack of empathy for A and E patients and elderly patients these posters are displaying is just horrifying. I would not be at all comfortable if I thought they were an example of nursing care n a ward where I had an elderly relative. They are entirely focused on their own ego and not in patient care.

No I was saying that "great" and "my mother's death" don't usually pop up in the same sentence. Stop being so passive aggressive.

I was having a really traumatic time and because of that, silly things like that were way off my radar.

It can make you really sensitive as well, though, and little things can loom really large.
When my brother suddenly collapsed and died a few hours later in hospital, I know my SIL found the kindness of the staff a real comfort at an otherwise unbearable time. Unkindness would have sent her over the edge at that point, I think.

Thankyou

As I've mentioned before the vast majority of medical staff in the NHS and who have posted on here are excellent.

But it's good to be aware that there's some on here who are trying to justify their own sociopathic tendencies dressed up as "Defending the NHS". They are doing anything other than that.

No you were just trying to get me to minimise abuse and you're still doing it, and I'm still not going to.

I would be astonished the hear a ward sister speak to a patient's relative that way, because it would impact very negatively on them should the relative make a complaint about it. Most people have more sense of self preservation than to take a risk like that.

Definitely don't want to be on your ward. Are you the one who left my 93yo dad to piss himself?

It's dreadful.

I had this happen so many times with my parents and my husband - staff simply not checking their notes.

I'm so confused. And that is a really weird response. Maybe you need to talk that through with someone. My post above was stating that they should have acted quicker if he had sepsis.
So would you rather a nurse faff around and not give your parent the treatment they need when they need it? It seems like nurses can't do wrong from right.

Given your very obvious lack of empathy for anyone other than yourself, any sympathy I had for you has evaporated. Good night.

Given that you don't have any empathy I doubt you had any sympathy.

They didn't know he had sepsis till they'd taken the first Canula out and he started deteriorating. They were treating him for a UTI till then.

Never assume notes are read. FIL got given drugs he has an anaphylactic reaction to. DS2 got told there was nothing wrong with his foot when his hand was injured. Contact details ignored for DS1 and dad. Total confusion when DH was nil by mouth because notes not read - and he had a sign over his bed but a nurse had a right go at him telling him he needed to eat to get better.

Nonsense. I too would love to hear the nurse's side of things. If the way you are twisting things on here is indicative, reality could be quite different from your version of events.

Nope I'm still not minimising the abuse. Goodnight.

A+E are generally very hot on sepsis, there are certain criteria which if are met, triggers the sepsis pathway. IV antibiotics usually have to be given within a certain time frame. If you want to complain, I would ask about this. How is your Dad doing now?

My dad's experience was no treatment that was needed and just left on a trolley and ignored for hours. That was when no one was allowed to accompany him. Every time he was admitted it was the same.
Then there was DHs uncle who would have died of his aunt hadn't kicked up a stink. Just left until then, once he was looked at he was rushed straight in for life saving surgery. When DS2 had major surgery to correct a facial abnormality as a teenager he was left with no bed pan and nothing to drink for hours. With his jaw wired he was only offered food that needed chewing and he couldn't even get into his mouth. Adult ward so we couldn't stay to see he was ok. A friend has an son with learning difficulties so she could stay to help when he had surgery, she was horrified that ignoring patients who couldn't get out of bed until they pissed themselves was the norm. Friend, Uncle and DS were pre covid so it's not a new post covid issue.
My experiences have been 50% really good 50% bloody disgusting. There seems to be no in-between. That's why you get that reaction.

There are a couple of nurses at least on this thread who represent the worst of the NHS. So depressing. And frightening. Esp for those who haven’t got families to advocate for them.

I'm really sorry about all of your experiences, it is heartbreaking. It is also heartbreaking reading some of the comments on here. I have always been lucky enough to work in well staffed areas like ITU where we can give 100% to our one patient, so I guess some of the things I have read on here seem so far away from my reality. It makes me really sad that some people have very negative attitudes to the NHS ( quite rightly given their experiences) but I really want to emphasise that not all people's experiences are bad. I have never worked with a colleague that I have been concerned about regarding their behaviour. All the nurses I know are compassionate, respectful, and kind. Including myself- although it appears some people disagree. But please, don't tar us all with the same brush.

Definitely complain. Rude and unprofessional, probably horrible to work for as well.

He is much better thanks and should be discharged soon fingers crossed, my brother has taken the load off me for now.

They kept running tests and couldn't diagnose what was going on and what the infection was. I spoke to the Dr regularly about it and I have no issue with the way they went about things.

I could also complain about missing the stroke, and the screw up with the canulas, and many many things but I think those things are just a symptom of an NHS that's understaffed.

I think the nurses behaviour isn't, and can be corrected very easily.

But we're not tarring you with the same brush, I don't know why you think we are. I've an issue with this one nurse in particular, and I've interacted with many while my Dads been in hospital many of whom have been very kind and compassionate.

I think you were very civil actually. They were the ones at fault not feeding your poor dad.

How on earth can they forget to give him food?