Husband picking au pair up from airport

[Wanttokeepmyprivacy]

Husband did the 3 hour round trip this eve as au pair went home for a few days. I am going through cancer treatment and I had another operation on Friday, discharged yesterday. Husband is a wonderful man but I know he is knackered. Au pair is a 21 year old stunner who is also a really lovely girl but I can’t help think she is young and fit and can make her own way from the airport and it’s not late at night. And my hubby could have spent the evening looking after me and the kids, or even relaxing rather than be a taxi driver for her. AIBU?

This thread has made me very grateful that I came from a family that are happy to do favours for each other.

👏👏👏 Of course OPs confidence is knocked. She probably feels insecure over the way she looks and maybe she can't do the things she could do before. OP you need your rest and I feel that your dh should have taken the kids with him on the trip so that you got to put your feet up.

Exactly! They have shitty husbands, and shitty views of women that youth is better etc

Yep.

One would like to believe they'd hire on the basis they're wonderful with their kids.

But no, 'feeling like a crone in comparison' or worrying their sex pest husbands can't keep their dicks in their pants takes top priority.

Precisely. I don't care how rich these people are I would never trade lives!
And if you don't have a problem with it and trust your husband you are a 'cool wife' or whatever that means, that's the 2nd time I've heard this batsshit term in one week.

@Cappuccinowithonesugarplease I wouldn't swap either. Maybe theres a lot more sleazy men in the middle class world? Big egos? These wives seem so worried.
It's not a world I want to live in.. I wouldn't be with a man I couldn't trust around "temptation"

Id rather get on a train, but then i don't like traffic jams, i would never ask someone to give me a lift in the first place

I am adding this so some posters can remember what you posted and how you feel.

I do understand it's not about her being young and pretty it's about your husband making the effort to pick her up. You want his support and you thought he had very little left to give and that's what has taken you by surprise. It sounds as if he has never offered to drive you or pick you up from the hospital you have always got on with it.

You say he always working or looking after the children and he's always knackered. I thought the au pair was looking after the children to make it easier for you. You need to have an honest talk with your husband about how you feel and what support you need from him to make you feel special and cared for.

You’re one of the nastiest and most patronising posters I’ve come across on here.

So what if an adult gets a lift anywhere. So what? What is that to you? You seem obsessed and offended, it’s extremely strange.

I’m 30 years old, and get lifts from my father sometimes. He’s 50. Not elderly in the slightest. Stop assuming people’s ages and abilities, it’s incredibly rude, and makes you look really silly.

& That‘s not to say I’m incapable of using public transport. I absolutely am capable. I’ve travelled to South East Asia alone and navigated several flights, buses, metros alone.

I have a loving family who are kind, and do favours. It’s what being a family is about. We are there for each other and make life easier for one another. Sorry if you’ve never experienced that.

I also do the same for them. My “elderly” 50 year old parents needs taking to the airport? Who’s the first person to go through the stress of traffic and bad parking? Me.

She's made it sound as though he's up at 5am 7 days a week to drive me from Edinburgh to Heathrow. 😂 We go abroad once every other year, if that. We went to Portugal in May 2023 and are going to Lapland in December 2025 and I won't even ask for a lift for that one as it's an early morning departure.

How has this become all about you and your Dad?

The thread is about op having cancer and her au pair! Please start a new thread if you wish to discuss lifts and whether it is a bit lame or not as grown ass adults to still be relying on parents or not.

No, please don't @JolieFilleCommentCaVa

You have every right to reply to the people projecting on this thread.

Nope it is derailing the thread. It has nothing to do with the subject.

I’ve posted about my dad ….. once. Which was in response to one of Lisa’s many crazy comments about adults getting lifts from their parents.

There are many posters who have given their personal experiences and dynamics. Not just me.

If anyone is derailing the thread it’s that Lisa poster who I quoted.

It's actually part of the point. Au pairs, unlike nannies or babysitters, are supposed to be treated as family members. If you would give a lift to your 21 year old relative, which many posters have said they would and have appreciated getting the same from their parents, then you should give a lift to your 21 yo au pair.

No wonder the op fucked off you've derailed and talked about yourselves. I hope she gives her husband a good talking to poor woman isn't even offered a lift to hospital and he Sean's off to pick up a woman who is capable. Cancer isn't nice it's scary I don't wish it on anyone.

What about his wife who has to attend consultant appointments and chemo for her cancer must she do that on her own. Does the op deserve that treatment from her husband doesnt she deserve better.

I'd be furious with him totally unnecessary when you are sick.

I'm just wondering why hw was so desperate to pick her up

An au pair does NOT take priority over a cancer diagnosis! The au pair was perfectly capable of taking public transport or the paid for taxi! I am pretty shocked that anyone would be okay with this.

It was @Lisanoonan derailing, thankfully gone quiet.

Mine as well and I am 50. Are you a Cocteau twins fan by any chance ?

God no, my DH is a working class rough diamond but is loyal to the bone.

Im truly wondering if he isnt coping and the idea of dropping her off and then having long drive home helped his mind. Not really ok wgen Op is not well but could explain

Most people would go out for a walk or a quiet pint but not a three hour round trip to an airport. Especially with the awkward small talk presumably on the way back.