Friends Dad dosent have a shower or bath?

[girlfriend44]

Friends dad is 91, lives in a council flat. There is a bath in place but he's too old to get in the bath and out.
A shower was never put in place. Either the council were never asked or they wouldn't do it. Not sure which.
As a result he only has strip washes. He lives alone for context.
Does anyone find this odd or know anyone else like this?
I did say how can he wash properly like his back etc, she said he was OK and didn't want any help.
Although none of my business, I feel sad an old person is living like this.
I couldn't imagine not being able to shower or bath, and it's not a nice way for an older person to be living in my opinion.
Friend accepts it and dosent outwardly seem to worry.
Can you imagine your parent living like that?
AIBU.

I remember my nan washing like this in her kitchen. She didn’t have a bathroom but that was because she’d been born in that house in 1900 so only had an outside toilet.

Nobody should have to wash like this nowadays.

A referral should be made to the local council for their OT to visit and do an assessment. Can’t imagine that happening though if your friend and her dad are happy with things the way they are.

But he's never had a shower so doesn't miss it. Many people used to live with no shower. It's not what I would chose but equally I'd be more concerned is he getting enough visitors, is someone helping with shopping, cooking, cleaning etc

My MIL had very sensitive skin and didn’t bathe or shower for several years. She was helped with washing in later years and had her hair done regularly and she was perfectly clean. However your frien’s dad sounds as if he has less help. Is he eating ok, have clean clothes and is he in a safe environment?

If they are starting to need help getting a care assessment by SS may be a first step.

i suppose that is the way people used to live and the age of the gentleman he probably grew up with the same way of cleaning themselves. I know my late father had never used showers and would not use one.

My Nan only ever had a strip wash, she died about 20 years ago. I think my great Nan was the same, she died 15 years ago. Both would have been the same age as the man in the OP if still alive.

I think it can be a bit of a generational thing. I wouldn’t worry too much if he’s otherwise well and looked after.

My MIL was like this, although she wouldn’t admit it. She had a shower but was unable to stand in it and refused a chair as ‘that’s for old people’ But it was clear from the inch of dust in the shower that it had not been used.
I probably shower too often - I spend a lot of time exercising. I am just glad I have that luxury

My friend cannot walk or move her arms after a massive stroke and is confined to living downstairs where there is no bathroom or toilet. She has carers wash her using flannels - and she's been living like that for 18 months now, no end in sight. She's only 38. She was the cleanest person I've ever met and her dream was to be able to walk enough to get back upstairs to be able to go to the bathroom. The council are not housing them, they are currently privately renting.

It's quite common for the very elderly and infirm. And of course if they become bedbound they'll never have a shower or a bath. It's possible to stay clean with strip washes, and showers can be very chilly if you haven't much mobility. You can keep warmer with a strip wash because you don't uncover all of your body at once.

He would benefit from a bath lift, if the council would supply one. Some examples https://www.healthcarepro.co.uk/bathroom-aids/bath-lifts

His daughter may not realise these are available, you can check if she's considered them.

My mum only had a bath in her private rental and was unable to get in it, so she spent years only having strip washes. Luckily she was given notice as they planned to renovate the property and because she was at risk of homelessness, the council offered her a supported housing flat with a wet room. I'm so pleased her old landlord gave her notice or she would still be there!

This is common for elderly and disabled people. My mum didn’t get in a bath for the last 2 years of her life. I’m a cleaner and I’ve had elderly clients who don’t use their shower/bath. The bathrooms still collect dust and need cleaning though.

Ask the landlord if they would assist with providing a shower, they can get an OT assessment to see what he needs to improve his life.

I live exactly like this. Due to increasing disability and stage 4 cancer I haven’t been able to bath or shower since 2018.
I live in my own bungalow alone. Following divorce I had to get a small mortgage to buy this having lost my previous longstanding home and savings when my financially abusive adulterous ex-husband screwed me in every possible way.
I now have zero savings and my income is a nurses pension and disability benefits.
I applied to the council for a disabled facilities grant and their assessment said I would have to pay the first £7k myself when they could see from the bank statements I submitted that I don’t have a tenth of that.
Many of my living expenses and also the debts I was left with from the financially abusive marriage are not taken into account so the council decides what I should be able to save up rather than what they can see is reality.
So I will probably never be able to have a bath or shower ever again which is horrible both because of hygiene and because a good soak would help with my pain.
It’s a ridiculous state of affairs.

MiL is in her late 90s and lives independently. She hasn't been able to get into her bath for years and just strip washes with a flannel and a bar of soap. No problem.

It is how people used to live. It is how many people still live.

I've relied on strip washing for long periods when living abroad or off grid, including only having access to cold water. It really is fine.

I know elderly people who do strip washes also.

My grandad would of washed like that it's a generational thing a lot of older people would of grown up without showers or baths or hot running water especially in rural areas I would say

It’s normal for older generations.

Living without a bath also, as he can't get in and out and lives alone.

How do you wash your back though out of interest?

You can get long handled brushes to reach your back! If he had a bath board he could have a shower hose over the taps and sit. But a strip wash is fine by most standards.

My.mum did this until she had a walk in shower last year. She's 88.

With a soapy flannel or a long handled scrubby brush? My shower died and befor I could replace it I used to get in cubicle with a basin of hot water and a flannel and a scrubby brush. I reckon I was probably cleaner as actively washing rather than shampooing and letting soapy water run down. I think I’m naturally a sloth.

I'm an OT and I meet older and disabled people everyday who are unable to use their baths/showers due to their health conditions/limited mobility/falls, and have to strip wash. Part of my job is to recommend equipment like grab rails, rise/recline bath seats, shower benches and adaptations like level access showers. If he consents why don't you refer him for an OT assessment from Social Services?

@Mittens67 I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you been assessed by an OT? I am sorry for being vague but funding for a bath lift and carers to help with bathing is different from a council grant to install an adapted bathroom. I really can’t remember who arranged it or how it was funded for a relative who needed this after assessment by an OT but it was separate from the local authority grant. Perhaps MacMillan or CAB or your GP/consultant could help you find out if you would be eligible for this?