It's after 3am and DH isn't back yet, aibu for being annoyed?

[tometoyoutodo]

Yesterday he left home for a Work dinner at 2pm and has texted just once at 6pm. How would you feel?
There's 3 Primary aged DCs at Home with Me.

@gannett You've got a good one there 🖤

Why, just because your tucked up in bed with a horlicks by 10pm after a night out doesn't mean others should

YANBU. He needs to grow up, that's something 18 year olds do. Embarrassing past a certain age.

"Selfish partners who treat them like crap" wow.. he rarely goes out. It's not a weekly or even monthly occurrence.
And I am definitely not a cool wife..

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are fun to be around

@Artistbythewater

says who? You? Grownups can do what they want, it’s part of being a grown up. So long as he is ok with OP going out and doing the same and letting her hair down then I really can’t see the issue

I'm also at an age where I am capable of having fun without getting plastered but sometimes I like to have fun whilst getting at least a little bit plastered. There's so cut off or age limit to doing slightly daft things and in a basically respectful and loving relationship, you can allow each other a bit of flex.

Some real low bars for expectations here; says more about them op - not you.

I am terrible for carrying on the party with my friends. It is once in a blue moon as I work in a high stress job. However, I always say roughly where I am going, a rough time back and I will send a message if it’s going on late. Just respect really. I don’t want my husband thinking I’m in a ditch. If he’s at home with the children, only fair really. I am not 18 - I’ve got responsibilities and generally not a selfish arsehole.

@Tink3rbell30

ageist.

Parenting's a shared thing. With the kids' calendars packed with so much stuff to do today then it's up to both of you to make it all happen. And to plan and behave sensibly.

Unfortunately he hasn't and I get the impression this isn't a one off

No, he's not safe to be driving them around, probably smells and looks awful and is unlikely to be able to make sensible conversation with kids or adults today, so I guess you're stuck with it all for now.

But saying this evening when he's hopefully more together 'I've planned to meet the girls for a shopping and long lunch trip tomorrow so you're on parent duty today' and not taking any shit sounds like a great plan.

He will of course stick them in front of the TV, give them junk food then moan about being left to do all the work.

But it's time to discuss this.

She’s clearly written that he doesn’t do this often .
who hurt you ? 😂

It is though. Hardly attractive, there's no need to be wandering around unable to even string a sentence together at that hour past a certain age. You expect it from 18 year olds.

@Tink3rbell30

no people can drink and have fun and stay out late at any age. You might not like it or find it attractive but so what? 🤷‍♀️

Or simply that it’s deeply unattractive to be presented with a stinking, drunk man child on a Saturday morning 🤷‍♀️

People can also do that without being immature, selfish arseholes.

I'm answering the OP's question. It doesn't matter to you if a stranger finds it a massive ick.

Deal with your personal issues 😂😂

@Artistbythewater

why would he be stinking?

Are you serious??
You do know loads of normal bars are open till 5am..
In fact I can think of 3 open till 6am in my city, as well as dozens open till 4am. Many 24hr food places etc
Why would you automatically assume your DH was in a brothel!! That's nuts
I would never in a million years think that. Why would I?
Unless you have reason to believe this is something your husband is interested in.. which is a separate issue really.. if you think your husband is a sex addict or gambling addict or something. Or you know you've married the type of man who'd casually go to a strip club!!
I just don't think most women would worry about this without reason. They'd just assume he won't to an after parry or got a takeaway or crashed at a mates. Why wouldn't they?
If I'm out at that time in the morning that's what I've done.
Not gone to a brothel lmao

It’s rude, unless he said he’d be back tomorrow. I would never go out for dinner and just not return with no communication to leave Dh to wonder if I was dead in a ditch somewhere (or fallen drunkenly into a river like too many men seem to do).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a night out. But a normal responsible adult with young children at home would communicate their plans with their partner and co-parent. Dh goes out on occasion (not every weekend) and says I’ll be home by 11pm and is home by 11pm. Or he plans to stay the night with friends and says I’ll be back tomorrow by 10am and can take over with the kids so you can go do x, and he is home by 10am to take over with the kids. It’s the lack of communication that is rude and the assumption you’ll just sort things at home if he doesn’t turn up as planned.

Generally when drinking for hours on end the stench of alcohol fumes are present, and sour in the body as it detoxifies. Not the most appealing! It’s quite rancid.

The fact he was too drunk to even let anyone know if he was still alive tells us everything. Most partners are more respectful 🤷‍♀️

Again with the insults, trying to shame people for disagreeing with you.

Just accept that other people think differently.

Personally, it wouldn't annoy me but all folks are different.

As long as you both set out ground rules before going out, I don't see the issue.

If dh goes out, I know I'm picking up the slack and letting him have a lie in the next day. If I go out, he does the same for me.

However, neither of us would be out til 6am, those days are well and truly over for us!

The inequality in parenting loads needs to be discussed but a very occasional big night out, I would have no problem with and I would do myself. I am definitely no cool wife. Every week, hell once a month I would have an issue with but 2 or 3 times a year, no problem.