Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

[Boopadoop90]

Just that really. We were out with friends, going back to theirs. Dh refused to back to theirs but I don't know why. The others left in a cab. I couldn't leave dh alone in the pub. I I said I'm going home. He said OK. Followed me out in a fit and angry, cos he felt obliged to follow me. He's walked home. I'm 2 miles away from homre and sitting in the cold shivering
He messaged me to ask if I got an uber home. I said no, he said good we've spent £x on uber tonight.

He's walked home and I'm sitting on the kerb, 2 miles away in the dark, cold.

And sometimes they just need a "WTF am I doing?" moment.

The OP wasn't interested in support last night. She wasn't asking what to do. She just kept repeating that was sleeping on the kerb and it was cold. It was designed to make people worry about her.

She could have thought, "Fuck it!", caught a taxi and gone to the friends if he was being miserable.

Some people won't take responsibility for themselves though. They get their sense of self worth from being needy and dramatic and seeing how many people rise to it. And what better way when you've exhausted your real life supply than turning to the Internet?

I've known too many people in real life like this to have any time for it nowadays.

The suppprt never worked. In every case but one, they just stopped doing it one day. usually when they realised it was counter productive and was just pissing people off and they were losing friends. For a lot of people it's just learned behaviour and it's given them what they want in the past.

Not up to anyone to help/get her to change. It is up to friends to get her safely home.

Her "friends" weren't there , she's a grown adult who wanted drama last night. She was capable enough to start a thread on Mumsnet and tbh be pretty petulant about the situation

Again...
How? Physically manhandle her into a taxi?Do you think a taxi would take them both if she's stropping, resisting and telling him no?Or do you think the police would end up being called?Do you think they should have to stay outside in the dark and cold, watching to check she's safe from a distance of course!

@DoreenonTill8 "How? Physically manhandle her into a taxi?
Do you think a taxi would take them both if she's stropping, resisting and telling him no"

Is there any indication she was going to do that?
They shouldn't have gone off and left her. But as they did, someone, probably the dh should have got in an Uber, gone to pick her up, taken her home then reevaluated his life choices in the morning.

No, I didn't.. so at 19 I realised I had to stop drinking because my behaviour was inappropriate and unfair on others.

The OP is in her 50s apparently. Time enough to have learned that she can't behave sensibly when drinking!

I don't get upset by minor things like this, to the point of putting myself in danger and making myself horribly uncomfortable... no. I think thats because I am not an over dramatic idiot. Maybe. I haven't behaved like that since I was a very small child.

Her behaviour and quest for attention last night quite indicative of it...
Plus if she refused to move all night, do you think her friends would be duty bound to join her in freezing their arse off all night?

Agree. I work with a woman, she's around 65. I have known her a good 17 years. She lives this way everyday. Her children can't stand her. Family cutt her off. Has no friends because everyone is sick of the ridiculous drama day in day out.

I'm imagining a 'take a break' headline:
'Left for DEAD on the pavement in the FREEZING cold...he was HAPPY he'd saved money on Uber!' with a close up photo of a wet pavement.

That’s actually quite funny 🤣

He's got the hots for the 'friend' which is why he didn't want to go back there. This left him pissed off which is why he wanted to carry on drinking. When OP said she was leaving he reluctantly agreed to follow her - when she said don't bother he decided enough was enough and stalked off home. OP did the damsel in distress routine which no one falls for these days and eventually got herself home. She's now mortified- DH is still sleeping it off. They'll talk around it at some point but he won't admit he fancies someone else and she won't admit that she really wants a macho, controlling man who rides to her rescue. The End.

Can’t believe OP hasn’t requested this be deleted. She’s “mortified” at the number of responses though 🤔

@trickortrickier that's a bit of a stretch tbh

Or alternatively the OP has form for this sort of behaviour and everyone has stopped pandering to it.

Waiting for OP'S update about the argument with her DH where she keeps whining "but you left me" and he points out she asked him to and could have just left with her friends anyway

She would have to sit on the curb with a sad face.

At least the fee would cover a few ubers!!

WHAT surely not 51.

I hope this thread is a big wake up call to you and that you seek the help you need. I really think you need therapy and to stop drinking.

I agree. This was really silly, dangerous behaviour. And sometimes we do more harm than good by not pointing that out. It doesn't matter what her partner should or should not have done. The point was he did leave her so she needed to deal with that reality. If she was so drunk as to prevent her being able to do that then she urgently needs to look at how much she is drinking.

Her friends had already left.

She couldn't have contacted them and gone there too but she didn't. Why?

They left her in a pub with her husband because she said she didn't want to go back with them!

If I'm out with friends and a couple choose to stay behind when everyone ese leaves, what are we supposed to do?

Blimey, when my partner and I go out with mutual friends, they quite often leave to go on somewhere else. We don't want to do that and stay in the pub for one more drink and go home. Are you suggesting that shunt happen and they should force me to stay with them in case I have a drama fit?

Ridiculous.

Facts.

🙄

Oh i imagine she'll be reading it all.

The 'kind' comments will be giving her the validation she needs that she is a victim.

The 'unkind' ones will be giving her the validation she needs that she is a victim.

Win win.

@GreyCarpet "Her friends had already left.

She couldn't have contacted them and gone there too but she didn't. Why"

She contacted her friends. Yes of course she could have gone with/to them, but she didn't. She was behaving like a complete idiot. But she was vulnerable and at risk. I repeat. I don't think it's OK to leave anyone, however idiotic, vulnerable and at risk.