Lottery win - what is fair?

[LotteryFights]

My DH and me have been arguing about this hypothetical thing for months and neither can see one another's view

My sister is v well off. Successful in her career and her husband has family money. They have 3 kids. Their house is well over £1m. They drive fancy cars.

H's sister is on benefits. Never worked. 6 kids . Lives in cramped house.

If we won millions in the lottery (i know, silly argument) I said we would give both sisters the same as they are both our sisters. H tells me this is beyond mad and of course you'd give much much more to his sister and possibly just gifts to my sister.

He tells me im being some awful person thinking they should both get the same. He says its beyond comprehension that we would give the same to each one and I need my head checked.

I need your views!!

(Obviously it's an issue that will never be an actual issue!)

No🤣

A few years ago my SIL and her DH made millions from selling the company they had built up from nothing. TBH I have no idea exactly how much they made but they own multiple properties across the world and own and pilot their helicopters on two continents.

A few weeks after the deal went through all the siblings (3 on her side, 4 on his) got a letter containing cheque for £50,000. It was the most generous thing I've ever known. It meant different things to all of us. Some of us are doing well financially and this was a wonderful bonus. Some of us are living on benefits and this was a life changing amount.

it matters a lot (to me at any rate) that their extreme generosity wasn't means tested or judged. They treated everyone equally.

That being said , I think they have probably extended extra generosity to other family members since then. I can't know for sure because it's none of my business but it matters a lot that we were all treated the same with the first very very generous gesture.

Not really given that it would be our money and we don’t have to give her a penny.

I'd buy a house for his sister but but in a kind of Lifetime trust for her children so that it is technically theirs but she can live in until she dies. I'd hire and set up a fund with a property management company, and then give her £16k so she can continue to claim benefits 🤷‍♀️

Then she has a well maintained sizeable house but isn't relying on your money infinitely.

Yes very different. You do not have a choice over your earnings potential.

I wouldn’t give anything to anyone! And wouldn’t let DH either! But I’m a ruthless cow 😂

Why's that?

dure giving to charity is great, not giving any to estranged or problematic family members. Sure, but you must like someone in your family & your friends, so why wouldn't you give them any??

Equal amounts every time

Yeah, people shouldn't take the risk. Let us singles win!

😂😂😂

indeed

Personally I would share equally, although that’s assuming I chose to tell anyone….😂

www.instagram.com/reel/DBkHbAfIk32/?igsh=ZHoxZGVuaHF5cGtr

Divide money 50/50 between ye and sort your own sisters out.

Let's say you have £50k to each sister.
It would entirely change the world of his sister.
It would merely be a nice little bonus to yours.
Like giving something that would make a massive difference to someone... to a person who doesn't need it.

👏👏👏👏

@Nevermind91 £50k to her sister could mean a lot to her, the house might be worth £1m (castle up North/niceish but not spectacular in my part of SE) but you can't spend a house, nor car (which maybe leased anyway) husbands family money-she personally may have very limited spending money!

I'd my sister was worth a million - I wouldn't give her a bean. She doesn't need it. Might treat her to a holiday or something. Maybe give her kids money for when they leave school for uni/a car etc...

If my sister was skint however, I'd give her a bunch of dosh. So she never had to worry again.

I don't see the point in making rich people richer. It's just pandering to greed.

I'd keep an amount back...say 10 million. And give the rest to people who would actually benefit from it. Maybe a woman's charity or something to help free animals from animal testing etc.

Spend some money and then if family needed money due to circumstance chaage at a later point, then I'd dip into what I'd saved to help them.

I wouldn't tell anyone. That way I could decide whom to give to if I wanted. i quite like the idea of being an anonymous fairy godmother or St. Nicholas dropping money down chimneys of homes of needy people and families.

If you drop any down mine could you make sure theirs no smoke coming out of the chimney first 😁

.

Well, of course, if you would be so good as to engage a sweep to clean it first! 😁

Definitely equal amounts to both

I would give an equal amount to all my siblings but would help them all out on top of that if needed

Gifting money to relatives will foggy the relationships.

I would only gift to charity and your own children.

If I gave any prize money to siblings it would be very small and equal. I would hate my siblings to feel indebted to me in any way.
I would prefer to give more equal, larger amounts to the nieces and nephews that they can access when they are twenty-five.. for reasons spelt out - like property purchases, uni fees or repayment of mortgages.

That said, I would also consider charitable family cases.
I could never see my relatives homeless if I could help out.

I'm in the equal camp. Reason being, yes your sister and husband may be more than financially comfortable at the moment. However, they may have a large mortgage, those cars might be on finance, and one or both could lose their career, or come down with serious illness meaning they can no longer work etc. His family's money could get swallowed up fast.

You see in the news these families who were once well-off, but then they encounter financial difficulties, and the husband ends up shooting himself after killing his wife, kids, dogs and horses.

Never judge a book by it's cover, even families who live in £1m houses aren't necessarily 'wealthy'.

I'd also personally want to know more about his sister's situation before deciding what to do about that (not actually asking, just meaning if I was you), like how has she come to be in her situation. What is the sibling relationship like? You also have to consider how she'd lose her benefits if you then bought her a house or gave her money. Is she financially responsible? Etc.

I wouldn't give any of my siblings anything, but I don't like them lol but I would ensure my best friends mortgages were paid off if we won decent money. If we won HUGE money, they'd get more and never have to work again.

So what he's saying is, the rich sister is getting penalized for her good fortune and the poor sister gets rewarded poor fortune? We never know what someone else is going through. Happiness doesn't always = money.

He should read into the bad luck of people who suddenly get a windfall. Giving (or winning) a large amount of money is rarely a good idea.

Our avenue is to have trusts with financial planners to help them and guide them. Not given them millions and they go off and buy a big house and forget that they'll need to pay taxes and insurance and all that fun stuff. Using the money to help, rather than hinder.

FWIW, I'm not broke but I'm not rich, doesn't mean I wouldn't really appreciate a financial windfall or help.