DP received letter for CMS

[lockdownbabyx]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have 2 children and another on the way.
Today he received a letter from CMS saying he owes child maintenance for a child he has never known about. This child is now 5 years old.

Obviously a dna test will need to be done anyway, but where do we stand with this?

I'm so upset and confused, literally found out I was pregnant again yesterday 😭

Ah!! Hadn't thought of that!!

He needs to stop getting women pregnant! Perhaps he could consider the snip?

If the other child is his, he'll need to pay but they will reduce it based on the other children he has.

Fwiw I’m a receiving parent (but he fails to pay).
Questions I would ask why has it taken her so long to go to cms? Perhaps she is unsure if parentage? Have the cms taken into account your current two children?
But mostly why the fuck has she not tried to contact your husband prior to this???
I think he has to pay regardless of proof until dna has been determined (you can check this on cms website)
Oh my god @lockdownbabyx op what a bombshell for you both.

As others have said, wait for the DNA test first. He may or may not be the father and until you know for sure, try not to give the whole thing too much head space. If he is the father, he should make sure the cms have accurate records of his salary, other children etc so they can calculate the maintenance properly.

is the CMS asking for back pay or just maintenance going forward?

if there's back pay, that would suggest a case has been open for sometime and therefore he is aware that there is a child out there an ex is claiming is his.

If it's just maintenance going forward, then he absolutely must deny that he is the father - this is the only way to get the DNA test. He will have to pay for the test but obviously, if the child's not his, it's money well spent.

He will need to pay the appropriate amount going forwards if he is the father. Whether you can afford it or not.

Ultimately if the baby is his it's his to provide for, just like your 3.

CMS likely isn't much, especially when it's taken into account that he has 3 with you to provide for as well.

He's going to have to adjust his priorities to providing for 4 kids. If he needs to get a different job to earn more to do so he will have to work that out. You may have to work more or have less maternity leave to put what you need to in the household pot for your 3.

Once you have the results, if he is the father, he will need to make payments, and perhaps build a bond between the half siblings

Men who have that many kids in that few years tend not to be rich. Or sensible.

You are being very rude. He's her DP, they have 2 kids together & one on the way. It's not Kind or clever to 'downgrade' him to boyfriend to suit your post.

Theres no reason he would leave the OP & their 3 kids, so no, she doesn't need to expect to be getting CMS in the future.

@lockdownbabyx I'm sorry you're having to read some of these nasty posts.

I'd be wondering why did she wait 5 years? Maybe it's because she wasn't 100% sure if he was the dad. I suppose you're stuck on limbo until you get the DNA results. Can he get in contact with this woman and get a DNA test done faster than waiting for the courts?
I'd also wonder how he didn't know she was pregnant. Did they not have any friends or that in the same circle?

Unless there was abuse in their relationships, it’s completely out of order for this woman to only tell him he has a child five years on.

And even more out of order if she ever wanted to ask him for money. I mean tbh if she’s never bothered to try and make contact with him until now I don’t feel like she should be able to ask for money at this point (although legally of course she can and he will have to pay). It you and him had known there was an extra child to pay for you may not have gotten pregnant again. Now you’re in a situation where all 4 children involved will be financially disadvantaged because this woman hasn’t said anything sooner.

Go onto the CMS calculator, put in his income and that there are 2 other children. See what the amount comes out as.
Thats the amount he will have to pay if the DNA test shows the child is his.

what a shock for you OP, I’m really sorry

I'm not buying that he didn't know.

You don't know that this woman hasn't tried to contact the OP's partner. For all we know she has been trying for years to get him to accept responsibility.

I wasn't trying to be kind or clever, I was being factual. The brutal facts are that as her boyfriend her relationship is not likely to last this. The term boyfriend is not a downgrade as you very unpleasantly put it.

Wonder why she waited so long? 5 yrs a long time to wait

Wonder if she thought it was another man’s baby - then something prompted DNA test.

Now she might just be trying to remember who it might be…

If he can’t afford another child why are you having another? If the dna tests says the child is his then he will have to pay what cms deems he can afford. Would he want a relationship with this new child?

It’s in the OP, the first line in fact so why are you wondering?

Yes, agree with this. You will have to adjust your lifestyle to afford it.

Also, you need to find out what relationship he wants with his child, and consider the relationship they will have with their half siblings.

This 🤔

Me neither and I'm also not buying that his ex waited for 5 years and this came out of the blue

There is not much you can or should do. If he is a PAYE, the calculations are fairly simple. 12 percent up to a weekly gross of 800. 9 percent of everything over 800 to 3000 per week. If he earns more than 3000 per week, the ex can go to court for a calculation over 3000.

That's just plain nasty. She is having a third, which isn't exactly unusual. The 4th is nothing to do with her.