DP received letter for CMS

[lockdownbabyx]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have 2 children and another on the way.
Today he received a letter from CMS saying he owes child maintenance for a child he has never known about. This child is now 5 years old.

Obviously a dna test will need to be done anyway, but where do we stand with this?

I'm so upset and confused, literally found out I was pregnant again yesterday 😭

She can't come after your income only his. Could you increase your earning potential (not now! You're busy with a baby) and then he can go part time and she'll get less out of him (but so would you) he could do the school runs though

Wtf? Why should the other child not have his father contribute fairly? I hope you’re not a mother yourself writing shit like this. The OP’s partner left himself open to the potential somebody could ‘come after’ him when he had sex. You’re warped.

Classy.

Her DP’s only crime is that he had protected (by him!) sex before being with OP.

So we should all only have children with men who are virgins?

I’ve never said or implied any of that. I don’t think, on the face of it, anybody here has done anything wrong, actually.

My post was in response to the poster I quoted suggesting that the other woman was ‘coming after’ the OPs husbands money and that he should change jobs to not have to support a child he (at this moment may or may not have) fathered. I stated the fact that we all know there’s risk of making a life when we have sex and that the other child shouldn’t miss out of being financially supported. I think you need to re-read my comment.

@lockdownbabyx
If and when the paternity test confirms he is the father, and also when your baby is born, these are both changes in circumstances that he should discuss with the insolvency practitioner who set up the IVA. He will need to revisit his budget and consider whether his current repayments will be affordable with the additional costs of one or two more children to support.
https://nationaldebtline.org/get-information/guides/individual-voluntary-arrangements-ew/ - see the section under change of circumstances

Also, it would probably be sensible for him to think about getting a vasectomy at this point. If he got you and/or his ex pregnant while using contraception, he must be pretty fertile.

Good luck with your pregnancy and with this situation as it develops.

Why shouldn't he go part time

Imagine you’re a child and all of your responsible adults are trying to get out of paying for you to live.

Their mum isn't?

And why shouldn't OP work full time? Then her own kids can benefit from her salary

2-3 kids is a standard family size, not sure why some posters are coming up with unkind comments.

Its not about adults its about innocent children. Stop thinking its some cruel to a man 'got ya' from a nasty ex looking to stir drama.

Maybe the ex is terminally ill and planning for the child's future, maybe she lost her job through ill health, maybe she was supported by a family member that died, maybe any number of things turned their life upside down after years of coping without him. That child needs support now regardless and he HAS to give that support if he is the father.

Don't want the risk of having kids then don't have sex (its not an entitlement with no consequences, even protected sex has risk) but once a child exist BOTH parents have a duty to contribute regardless of their feelings.

The illegitimacy laws where revoked because THOUSANDS of children died needlessly so men could get away with affairs etc... ffs. Its not something anyone (especially women who where screwed over for centuries) should support in returning.

My ex did this to my daughter and it still breaks my heart and fills me with rage that someone could sneak their way out of coughing up what was owed to her.

Should be punishable by law IMO. Outrageous how men help conceive a child then crawl back under a rock when it’s time to continue financially.

He doesn't have to support a child he hasn't fathered. The cms don't take money from you if you are disputing parentage until a DNA proves you are the father.

Good what a shock for him and you all!

So what?

it’s not just about money. A man and his child have missed out on knowing each other for 5 years because of this woman’s actions.

unbelievable that in this situation where there’s no reason currently to think the man involved has done anything wrong and yet posters are still using it as an opportunity to bash men

Ignore the spiteful arseholes OP. They get some sort of kick out of being nasty.

Fingers crossed the DNA test shows he isn't the dad.

If he is, do contact the IVA company as CMS counts as a priority payment so they will renegotiate the other payments and you'll probably end up with a similar amount of disposable income.

Good luck!

@CovertPiggery thank you! I think he already pays the minimum amount on the IVA so not sure it will make a difference, time will tell. Thank you though x

The figure they are suggesting likely does not factor in children he has living with him.

It won’t

Logic. The timeline and the fact that the other child is only 5.

@Silvers11 @OriginalUsername2 CMS obtain their earnings from HMRC

One step at a time. Deal with the DNA test first. The CMS are unlikely to have factored in your children together so that will make a difference. If you can then tweak the IVA payments, the impact might be less than you think.

They get earnings from HMRC now

You do know contraception fails? He was in a relationship, it didn’t work out. He says he didn’t know about the child, why assume he is lying? These things happen.
he then found OP and they are seemingly happy and working well if they are having their third child together.