DP received letter for CMS

[lockdownbabyx]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have 2 children and another on the way.
Today he received a letter from CMS saying he owes child maintenance for a child he has never known about. This child is now 5 years old.

Obviously a dna test will need to be done anyway, but where do we stand with this?

I'm so upset and confused, literally found out I was pregnant again yesterday 😭

Yikes, he sounds like a great example of a father.

Is your DP called Boris?

What exactly has he done wrong?

What he’s done wrong was had sex six years ago.

I’m totally clueless on this subject as I don’t have children but I’ve read loads of threads on here where Fathers pay nothing despite a financial order being in place, how do they get away with it when the consensus on here that it is legally binding and the father had to pay? How on earth do they get away with not providing for their children?

How do you know what kind of father he is?

You know nothing about how he parents his children.

Really! Get some therapy.

What? Because he had sex? Weird

I daren’t say as my post will get deleted again 🤣

I can't abort my stepchildren

Flip a lot of judgement on here!! They have 3 kids together, some people want their kids close together.
There’s also every chance the mother didn’t tell him. Maybe she didn’t know herself until recently. Maybe they were using contraception so she thought it was someone else’s but found out it isn’t. There’s a lot of scenarios that don’t make the op’s partner a bad dad/partner/person. And either way this is an awful shock for op.

Take it one day at a time, get the dna test done and then decide from there. I’m assuming the number they have got is from his wages online/tax return. Try putting it into the cms calendar including your current children. If he is the father he will have to pay it though, I don’t think they make allowances.

All this hate because he had sex with his ex 6 years ago when he was dating her and she then gave birth. He claims he didn’t know which let’s face it fits, because why wait 5 years to claim if he knew but just wouldn’t pay.

Don't tell women they should abort their wanted child.

This isn't a discussion on abortion, OP has not mentioned abortion and its not remotely anyone place to push it onto her because a man may have knocked up another woman that is not her, her child or her bodies problem.

For many abortion is not an option or solution either... don't pretend it doesn't have a massive MH impact on many women who feel pushed and force into it by societal pressure and judgement other who think its just 'logical' and they shouldn't care about the loss of their child.

No one is silencing anyone about their abortion but its downright appalling to peer pressure other women.

What I said was factual 🤷‍♀️

Why are people searching her older posts to find out what property she lives in and how much money she has?

I would never shame anyone for having an abortion, you're being completely unreasonable with your assumptions.

I simply feel your original post should have been much more sensitive.

I can't imagine falling pregnant (particularly if it was planned and very wanted as this one could be, we don't know as OP didn't say!), finding out my partner has another child that even he didn't know about and the unexpected financial implications of that and then someone casually suggesting I could always have an abortion.

Abortion isn't an easy or simple decision completely free of emotion for many women.

THIS!

Especially not when she has posted about several miscarriages while trying for said much wanted baby!

Because most people having their 3rd child are financially stable. It was odd that her first response is panic that they cannot afford it. How? It’s 12% of his salary, not joint salary, and someone having a large family should be financially stable enough to cover that cost. So, people were curious I guess.
Turns out they are on the bones of their arse yet still having more kids snd this unexpected cost will really impact on the children they currently have. They need to have a full think about what they should do here.

I was in a similar kind of situation 7 or 8 years back, having my second child with my, then, partner, and all of a sudden there was a CMS claim.

Long story and much heartache later it turns out that he had one child I knew about, then we had a 2yo and a newborn, and it turns out he also had another 3 that he didn't tell me about by different women.

All exes that were bitter and just used him for babies he didn't even know were his apparently.

Guess who's the bitter, sperm stealing, using ex now?

Please be careful op, do some digging if you can, hopefully nothing shows up and he's totally honest, and this is a massive surprise to him too.

Financially things will be rough, are you claiming all you're entitled to? Can your dp bump up his hours at work? You'll need a good look at your budget and make some changes, it won't be easy, but its doable.

Nice little snoop did you, just to put the boot in?

did you get bored repost the same 💩 over & over?

There is no shame in having an abortion but thee is shame in suggesting the Op should have one in this situation.

Ive seen a few instances of this since joining mn. Its creepy.

Ignore the judgement. Women can be arseholes too and lie.

Congratulations on your third pregnancy x

It’s a percentage of his wages so should be affordable 🤷‍♀️

Literally says 4 years in the OP.