New guy ignoring me

[YourTealMaker]

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages.
we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

Op look up freedom programs and go and take one.

You deserve someone who will live and value you, who will want to be with you and think you are the best thing that ever happened to him. This man is not that person. He is horrible and nasty and the more you give the more he will take. Please block him completely including on your phone.

I have blocked him before after he told me just wanted to be friends, which I agreed to I didn’t mind at first keeping it casual it was a mutual thing. But then he started to say he sees me in his future, I’m perfect for him just his type ect ect , saying love you randomly & then he tried to friendzone me after this. So I did actually block him but he just kept ringing me and contacted me on a different social media platforms.

i told him that I don’t want to play games with him, when he was calling me names I just opened the messages ignoring him, he sent message after message voice note after voice note lasting minutes at a time. Since I didn’t meet him he’s now just acting cold and distant once again that I what was confusing me the most.

I have told him multiple times that I will leave him alone if this isn’t what he wants which he previously did agree too but then the message after he will put something like love you. We haven’t really spoke much this week as his phones broke - I agreed to meet him in a hotel (after our last date to the cinema) I didn’t end up turning up. He offered to take me to the cinema and for food so we could just talk he made it clear he did not want to have sex with me that he just wanted to meet me and speak to me properly & then he would drop me off home afterwards. He offered to cover the whole bill but I told him I’ll pay for my self, he’s told me to book a hotel room but offered to pay for it. I just think he means if I’m serious about meeting him as I basically stood him up last week but I don’t think he likes me the way I like him that’s for sure.

i do agree that I do need to go to therapy, I have actually spoke about this with him and he agreed it would be good for me but he told me that if I don’t go to therapy I can always speak to him and open up to him

What's to like? Blimey

Block him and tell him if he continues to harass you then you'll be going to the police. The early stages of dating are meant to be them at their best on their best behaviour, if this is him at his best you WILL end up in a box 6 feet under at some point in the future.

Literally block him and tell him no further contact, definitely don't tell him personal stuff. He is manipulating you, he's already a waster. If you want sex have no strings sex with someone else, if you want love and a relationship work on yourself first.

How on earth have you fit all this drama into four weeks? Week one - fun chat week 2 - "You love each other - week three - blocking.

You're not 15.

Block him, change your number, get into therapy.

He gives you butterflies because you are addicted to the toxic rollercoaster of abuse.

It isn't genuine or real, it is your body responding to how you were conditioned by your ex.

he just makes me feel really upset now he went from making me feel the happiest I’ve felt in a long time to literally dragging it away over night. I did tell him I did not want to talk to him after the name calling as he tried to message me 2 days later as I was ignoring him like nothing had happened.. I said to him that he called me ugly and a slag ect and he never even said sorry and all he replied was the truth is spoken with alcohol or something along them lines I can’t exactly remember how he worded it but it defiantly wasn’t an apology.

I opened up to him about about my personal life, my nan dying with cancer, my uncle who’s just passed who we’ve just buried, my very abusive ex. He told me I could open up to him and tell him anything so I did, then after calling me names he sent me a voice note literally mocking each thing I opened up to him about mocking my voice when I had been crying to him on the phone saying that I don’t have real issues going on in my life how he’s had 50% harder how he was trying to be nice being there for me ect….

Are you even reading all the replies?

You need to do better. At this point you’re doing it to yourself.

It’s astonishing that you cannot see his behaviour is alarming to say the least, but instead worried that he’s ignoring you.

Please seek therapy.

This is honestly mortifying to read. You need to seek therapy and get away from this man. You don't know each other.

Is she even reading her OWN replies?!

I opened up to him about about my personal life, my nan dying with cancer, my uncle who’s just passed who we’ve just buried, my very abusive ex. He told me I could open up to him and tell him anything so I did, then after calling me names he sent me a voice note literally mocking each thing

Seriously OP. Read this back to yourself. IS this really the sort of person you want to be with? Do you honestly think "he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy!" ?

Why the fuck are you opening up about your trauma to someone you don’t even know? I’ve had stuff on my fridge longer than you’ve known this man ffs.

He has shown you loud and clear that he’s a nasty abusive cunt - believe him

@YourTealMaker the more you post the worse it gets. Now I'm not saying you are a troll, far from it, but what you are writing is the sort of stuff a troll would write to get reactions from others. That is how extreme you are coming across.

You are practically inviting an abusive man into your life to abuse you again, only this one admits to physically attacking others and boasts about it. All this is making me wonder if you are trying to self harm by using a person instead of a sharp implement because you feel so worthless. You seem to want hurt so you can feel. But a man, abusive or otherwise, is not the answer.

Get help asap. If you continue down this path you are going to end up dead. Look in the mirror and tell that beautiful person looking back that they are worth so much more than this, that there is a better life out there, but they need professional help and you will get it for them. Then do it.

The more I read, the worse it becomes. It's early stages, just leave him before you're married/living together/pregnant and it becomes harder.

As I mentioned, I hope you're using contraception. To bring a baby into this mess would be a disaster for you and the baby.

He is scum. Get rid of him.

I can't understand why you don't.

The man has LITERALLY told you he doesn't like you and only wants to use you for sex. If you won't listen to yourself, and you won't listen to us, at least listen to what the man himself is saying. Which is: HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU, THINKS YOU ARE UGLY, THINKS YOU ARE A SLAG AND JUST WANTS TO USE YOU FOR SEX.

Why, why, why would you want anything to do with this horrible, nasty, manipulative person?

@tealbreaker please look into getting therapy to work on your self esteem. Everyone on this thread is telling you loud and clear that this person is absolutely vile, and you need to block him and work on your self esteem. You need higher standards. You deserve so much more (which isn't hard given what an utterly vile man this guy sounds). Single is always always better than this.

@YourTealMaker what the actual f**k! I'm sure this type of 'relationship ' is normal to you but to the rest of world its not.
Stop talking to this idiot about your life. And not everyone who opens up to you about theirs needs to be given sex as a reward.
This twat is not even too bothered about having sex with you even though you pretty much offer it on a plate!
Choose to be alone. Don't hang yourself on any passing knobhead who calls you beautiful or whatever lame compliment. You're worth more than that. Stay single and work on yourself. And then raise your bar. Good luck.

Are you the same poster under a different name who’s done the post about a guy you’re dating calling you a slag because you hung out with a male friend?

starting to think these aren’t real.

Work on your self esteem and self worth before even glancing at another man ever again.

But I pray, for the love of God,do not ever, get pregnant by someone like this.

Actually, just join a convent and do not go near another man again, you're awful judge of character if you think this guy is sweet!

So why are you posting the messages where he is clearly only interested in one thing, and barely at that, and not all the ones where he says he loves you etc.

Stop lying to yourself, you can't seriously be so desperate/stupid to think this is in any way going to develop into anything g other than a fuck buddy situation.

Get some therapy and hopefully find your self-respect. But I'm guessing you will keep waffling on here about this loser and meet him for sex then be back complaining he ghosted you afterwards. There's obviously no helping you!

This is your version of the sweetest person ever? Odd

I've had enemies that have treated me better