Page 10 | New guy ignoring me

YourTealMaker · 2024-11-14T09:24:08+00:00

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages. we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 09:58

I have a telephone appointment but I will read the messages to the go

OP posts:

BodyKeepingScore · 15/11/2024 09:59

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 09:48

Ok so I made it a point to not speak to him yesterday but last night he started ringing my phone & messaging me - I told him I don’t mind meeting but to just keep it casual the way he wanted, but I am not even sure if me and him is what I want anymore after posting on here & from the advise I’ve been given. I have booked a hotel room just incase I might meet him but I am still in two minds. Now I’ve taken what everyone has said in to account and now I have woken up in a sort of different mind set. I just feel like if I do go to meet him everything will just go downhill but then part of me thinks maybe it might not I really don’t know what I am going to do but Thankyou everyone for your help & opinions I have been on the phone to my GP this morning to talk about my medication maybe getting it changed + to seek councilling & I have a call back for this afternoon.

Ugh. Still too much drama. Cancel the hotel.

TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:00

OP sharing private conversations online is really unacceptable and crossing boundaries.

I realise that’s not the biggest issue in this entire shit show but you are really wrong to post them .

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:01

Because part of me likes him still and I’m saying different on the messages because I am trying to keep my guard up a bit I can’t help if I’ve developed feelings for him. I booked the hotel because I did want to meet him even if it’s just for sex but I don’t think I’ll take it further than that because I don’t want to end up in the same situation I have just left with my ex

OP posts:

Beastiesandthebeauty · 15/11/2024 10:04

Focus on your child and yourself. These conversations are more immature then my teens or even my 9 year old. Letting him damage you more takes away from your child. Sort yourself out and eventualy you'll be ready for a MAN not a self proclaimed fuck boy!

Threetrees745 · 15/11/2024 10:05

Why do you like him so much? From his messages it sounds like he can barely string two sentences together.

Frith2013 · 15/11/2024 10:06

You don't like him.

You don't know him.

Also, there is nothing there to like.

Catza · 15/11/2024 10:07

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:01

Because part of me likes him still and I’m saying different on the messages because I am trying to keep my guard up a bit I can’t help if I’ve developed feelings for him. I booked the hotel because I did want to meet him even if it’s just for sex but I don’t think I’ll take it further than that because I don’t want to end up in the same situation I have just left with my ex

If you don't think you will take it further than sex, then why bother meeting him at all? If you think you have feelings for him but don't want to take it further then why feed your feelings by meeting with him and having sex?
Can you stop for a second and actually at least try and see how you think this situation is likely to develop if you see him in a state you are in right now?

TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:10

So you’re paying for a hotel so he can treat you like an unpaid sex worker, wash his cock in the dink and leave you feeling like a piece of shit afterwards?

And only do you accept this shit, you actively chase him begging him to treat you like crap.

You need serious help and you need to stay as far away from men as possible until you understand that you’re not a piece of meat just there to satisfy cunty men

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:13

I don’t know what it is but theirs just something about him, he’s got lovley blue eyes he’s really attractive he works he has his own place and when he’s actually being nice he makes me laugh & it just feels like I’ve known him forever ( even though I don’t hardly know him ) that is why I said to stay as friends. We have mutual friends together I have met him briefly in the past when we was in high school we have a lot of mutual connections + he lives 5 minutes away from me. So that’s mainly why I just chose to stay friendly because I’ll bump into him. His sister was in my class at school and I speak to her now and again when I see her

OP posts:

Pussycat22 · 15/11/2024 10:14

He's a MONSTER,!! Develop yourself and learn how to be proud of yourself and not put up with scumbags like him.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:15

I’m not paying for the hotel or anything he’s already said I don’t have to worry about expenses but I have offered to buy a bottle of alcohol. I don’t mind staying friends and keeping it causal if he agrees to do the same but if he starts trying to take it further I’ll probably end up having to pull back as I don’t think it’ll be good for either of us I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship and I am not either tbh

OP posts:

KrisAkabusi · 15/11/2024 10:16

10 pages of people telling you had bad this person is, and you still think you know better. People have done their best, but there's no helping you.

Tesal · 15/11/2024 10:16

Get some self respect.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 15/11/2024 10:18

People are just wasting their time trying to help you here.
You are determined to offer yourself up for a cheap fuck to a man who has nothing but contempt for you.

Been there. Done that. It's no way to live. But you'll carry on until you finally see sense. But by then the damage done will be far far greater.

But go. Go do it. You are determined to and the lived experiences of others and the advice of others will not sway you. You will have to go through it again just like you did with your ex and one day you will wonder why the hell you didn't listen.

Heylittlesongbird · 15/11/2024 10:21

For goodness sake OP
This isn’t just fun no strings sex. He has talked to you so horribly. He has told you exactly what he’s like. And there you are still basically begging him. Why on earth are your standards so low! What has happened in your past for you to think so little of yourself?

TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:21

Ok OP despite the unanimous opinion on here you’re determined to get fucked by a man who thinks you’re worthless and who just wants a warm hole to shoot his load into.

But hey crack on but don’t come back here in a few weeks crying that he’s ghosted you and treated you like shit on his shoe.

You seem determined to hit the self destruct button - don’t say you wasn’t warned

Uricon2 · 15/11/2024 10:25

You know, most men who turn out to be hopeless users at least start with a bit of charm to get what they want. He doesn't even respect you enough to do that.

BTW, both your first names are clear in those texts (which you shouldn't have posted anyway) He is humiliating you and you are helping him. Grow up and find a bit of self worth.

Kazzmarie12 · 15/11/2024 10:26

If he has his own place why you booking a hotel?? Its women like you that makes men think they can treat us like shit! He's a full on twat

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:32

TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:21

Ok OP despite the unanimous opinion on here you’re determined to get fucked by a man who thinks you’re worthless and who just wants a warm hole to shoot his load into.

But hey crack on but don’t come back here in a few weeks crying that he’s ghosted you and treated you like shit on his shoe.

You seem determined to hit the self destruct button - don’t say you wasn’t warned

Edited

Literally everything, I have been dealing with mental health since I was around about 10, I’ve had endless chams sessions, ends different types of medication. My childhood I don’t remember a thing, I’ve been through 2 very violent abusive relationships. I have a restraining order on my first ever proper boyfriend, he used to kick me out of bed in the night and spit at me and hit me when I would try get into bed, made me sleep on the floor, locked me in the house all the time, I’ve had my fingers stapled gunned. My most recent ex he’s strangled me countless time/ bit my face my arms my legs, whipped me with stuff forced me into sex and just a lot. My mum well yeah not going to go much into her but she wasn’t the nicest woman growing up & my sister use to say ALOT to my mum that she can bully her like she bullied me. I was r*ed when I was 14 & was taken out of school for a year had to have a kit done, go to recorded police interviews ect just been through a lot and that’s not the half of it. I am just on auto pilot at the minute that’s why I like to sleep because I create my own little world in my head.

OP posts:

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 15/11/2024 10:32

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:15

I’m not paying for the hotel or anything he’s already said I don’t have to worry about expenses but I have offered to buy a bottle of alcohol. I don’t mind staying friends and keeping it causal if he agrees to do the same but if he starts trying to take it further I’ll probably end up having to pull back as I don’t think it’ll be good for either of us I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship and I am not either tbh

STOP. You are really frustratingly making poor choices. Why are you enjoying or accepting the way he’s speaking to you. He’s talking to you like dog shit and genuinely telling you, that you’re nothing but a fuck. He doesn’t like you, he will never like you, he doesn’t care what you’re doing, nothings wrong with his phone he just doesn’t care to reply to you. Please, and I mean it kindly because I’ve been there. Get this into your head or you’re going to get your feelings and probably yourself very hurt. He’s telling you he’s a fuckboy. You’re not changing that any time soon and neither is he by the looks of it.

By you being willing to be his play thing he’s not going to get feelings for you miraculously. Stop ignoring the overwhelming number of people telling you this. You’re making things worse for yourself by using it as a crutch to support your last break up. It’s going to get worse when this one hurts you too. So go and heal from the last one or just stop posting.

You seem like a very genuine person but it will get you hurt.

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 15/11/2024 10:36

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:32

Literally everything, I have been dealing with mental health since I was around about 10, I’ve had endless chams sessions, ends different types of medication. My childhood I don’t remember a thing, I’ve been through 2 very violent abusive relationships. I have a restraining order on my first ever proper boyfriend, he used to kick me out of bed in the night and spit at me and hit me when I would try get into bed, made me sleep on the floor, locked me in the house all the time, I’ve had my fingers stapled gunned. My most recent ex he’s strangled me countless time/ bit my face my arms my legs, whipped me with stuff forced me into sex and just a lot. My mum well yeah not going to go much into her but she wasn’t the nicest woman growing up & my sister use to say ALOT to my mum that she can bully her like she bullied me. I was r*ed when I was 14 & was taken out of school for a year had to have a kit done, go to recorded police interviews ect just been through a lot and that’s not the half of it. I am just on auto pilot at the minute that’s why I like to sleep because I create my own little world in my head.

Show quote history

A man will not help you with any of this. Especially not this one. He’s going to make all the things you are not dealing with, much worse. Cut him off. Find a therapist. Then find the right man. You can do better. You will be fine.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:39

Thankyou

OP posts:

Thelnebriati · 15/11/2024 10:46

Ask yourself honestly, is it him you like or is it the attention.

Tapthisscreen · 15/11/2024 10:56

Struggling to know what say here. You are going to end up so utterly lonely, dejected and miserable if you carry on talking to this person. He is gross. He’s not even pretending to be decent and you’re lapping it up.