New guy ignoring me

[YourTealMaker]

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages.
we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

But can you see how inappropriate it is to be feeling like you can or should open up to someone so intensely when you barely know them?

OP your posts are really worrying - you are writing out exactly the truth and you are fully aware he is a terrible person and not interested, and you are still chasing him! Think of how embarrassing it is to chase a man who treats you like that and isn't into you - do you really want to beg for him? You will look back and cringe so badly at this. I say this because I want you to see the reality, not to be unkind. You have only met him once and he doesn't even want to see you again - I am not sure what you think this is

He's not 'the sweetest person ever'. He sounds horrible. If he's calling you these names after a month, imagine what he'd be like after a year.

Block him, then do some work on yourself. Why on earth would you still like a man who has been so vile to you??

You deserve better.

Getting into a relationship with someone who calls you horrible names and admits he himself is “evil” and has a drink problem is going to lead to a lot of heartache on your part. He is abusive and he’s showing you his cards early which is good as you can save yourself from further pain.

Where do you honestly see this relationship leading? I get it’s hard when you’re attracted to someone and they don’t want you - it makes you want them more. But if you block him and have nothing to do with him you’ll start to forget him.

You sound like you have very low self esteem and you need to work on that.

There is genuinely no kind way to say this but you are coming across pathetic and desperate. You've met him one time in a month and he's already verbally abused you. You're begging him to be the love of your life while he's telling you very clearly he doesn't want that and just wants a shag.

Would it really hurt you to be single for a while and work out why your self esteem is so low that you're begging for love from an abusive man you don't even know?

There is no scenario where this becomes a happy relationship. Even if you manage to convince him to be with you properly, which he's telling you isn't going to happen, you're just heading for another abusive situation.

Please please tell me you don't have kids ? If so, you really need to drop this one and work on your self esteem.

After insulting you which should have been the end if it. he did actually have the decency to tell you that you need help and you’re too fragile for him. He’s right. He just wants sex he doesn’t want this kind of hassle. You need a therapist not a FWB.

He thinks you're ugly and a slag and he doesn't want you at his but he will take an easy shag at the hotel... he is a massive dick!! Why do you want him ? Walk away.

You are dreaming about him, etc - it's a crush and will fade. You deserve someone nice, and hopefully you'll find them and you'll look back in this and wonder why you stuck with this charmless oik for so long. Until then, better to be single and focus on your friends and family.

Bad people are not bad all of the time. They can at times treat those around them very well. They like to think of themselves as good people and even they know that if they are never nice, no one would hang around them. That is why you are confused and so hopeful that his “sweet” side will come back and stay.

But he is a bad person. We know this from his actions of calling you horrible names and not treating you very well. Always listen to the actions and behaviour first rather than the cheap and flowery words that this man speaks.

I think you need to go back to your GP for a medication review.

A few years ago I talked to my GP briefly about a horrible new relationship I was in and they were excellent in their help and advice. I nearly hadn't bothered to mention it to them.

This guy is a twat.

More red flags than a communist rally....

You are worth more than this

For goodness sake, pick your self respect up off the floor and wrap it round you like a cloak.
Block him everywhere.

He's showing you how terrible he is. Why aren't you paying attention?

I think it's really sad that the sweetest guy you've ever met calls you those horrible names, after only one month of knowing you when this will be his best behaviour. Op you really need to look hard at why you are so blind to this - this guy should have been blocked the moment he spoke to you like that, you don't even know him so why are you holding on to him after that??

Lady please.... for the love of anything sacred....

Please respect yourself more and throw him in the bin!!!

When we leave an abusive telationship, these sort of behaviours feel like home. The early stages of pulling you in and pushing you away and the crumbs for you to hold onto.
If he's saying these things to you now he's showing he doesn't respect you and he doesn't even like you. He doesn't see you as a potential partner. He's telling you he's not for you and that it isn't going to work. That's not a challenge. Just listen to what he's saying. This isn't going to be a happy ending. Have you done any work since leaving your abusive partner?

The hotel is him hoping he’s going to get a shag out of you. There’s nothing you’ve posted yet which suggests this guy will be any good for you, now or in the future.

Please don’t think so little of yourself that you open yourself up to this kind of treatment. If you’re only just out of a 4 year relationship then you’re not going to be yourself and your boundaries are likely all over the place.

Block him and delete whatever dating app(s) you’re using for at least six months.

Again. He's telling you. He's warning you of exactly what he is and who he is. Don't see him again.

He is absolutely disgusting. If you think this is wonderful... well my jaw is on the floor.

He sounds like how I imagine Russel Brand speaks to women.

You were too full on and he’s backing away because he doesn’t feel the same. You say he messaged you saying love you and my girl but haven’t shared those and by now he’s talking to you on the ones you have shared he has zero respect for you so have some for yourself and walk away.

This guy is the dregs at the bottom of the barrel.

You’re concerned this abusive twat doesn’t like you, but you like him 🤦‍♀️

Wow!! Do you really need to ask what to do ?? He’s not interested and if he’s calling you things like this when you have just met he’s hardly sweet !! Work on your self worth

He’s barely literate. What a catch.

Offering to meet up “to fuck” so you can make your mind up?! And this works?

Who said romance is dead, with this prince walking among us 😳