New guy ignoring me

[YourTealMaker]

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages.
we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

I don’t get it. How the hell can he be “the sweetest person ever” and call you a slag and ugly? His being drunk does not excuse this. Dump him, block him and raise your bar.

The thing is I was supposed to meet him last week to go to the cinema, he said he wanted to meet me without me thinking it was just for sex. I couldn’t meet him, I had something come up with a family member - it’s only since then that he’s started acting this way tbh he went out and got drunk when I didn’t meet him & has been like this since

He's shown you his true colours, OP. Walk. And keep walking.
If you tolerate this, this early on, it does not bode well.

Block him on EVERYTHING and run for the hills. He's just playing with you. Reeling you in, love bombing you and then treating you like shit. Rinse, repeat. He's shown you who he is and what he is, believe him.

No. He has told you what he thinks of you. And what he can give you: a fuck. Believe him.

Don't build up a story in your head that isnt true. He doesn't want you. And you should want better for yourself than this asshole.

Perhaps take any time and money you would have spent on him, and instead spend it on some therapy to try and understand why you feel like this when someone has behaved so appallingly towards you. You can do it virtually, and do the odd one-off session...

I would suggest undertaking the freedom programme. His behaviours & your reactions are not healthy. He is love bombing you & telling you what you want to hear to sleep with you. He has no interest in being in a relationship with you. Please take some time to work on yourself, you deserve better than this

Three things you should do:

1. Block this horrible man‘s number. He‘s no good.
2. Seek therapy because your feelings and thoughts are all out of kilter and you are not capable of making good decisions right now.
3. Stay away from relationships until you have learned how to set boundaries and recognise red flags.

Everybody on here is saying the same thing but you don’t seem able to listen. Ask yourself why that is!

Block him, do the freedom programme
Nothing to love about him

Getting drunk, calling you a slag, then giving you the cold shoulder is not a reasonable reaction to this situation. It shows he has significant problems if that how he responds. Please OP, do yourself a favour and stay away.

walk away, truth comes out when you are drunk? says a lot, he is a nasty drunk, he is a misogynist and probably a narcissist

Look OP, what he's doing is he's estabnlishing whether you'r ethe kind of woman who will accept him being a complete dick. He's figuring out what the base line is in terms of how much (or little) love and attention he has to give you to make sure tha tyou are completely into him and dependent on him. He's figuring out how much abuse he can give you before you actually walk away. He's probably not even doign this consciously, but that's what's happening.

the reality is that a woman who is not vulnerable to abusive men would have left at the very first bit - when he was spending hours telling you you could tell him anything, staring into your hours, having endless conversations etc because that's not a normal healthy way to start a relationship.

In emotionally and mentally healthy people, early days of dating are fun and light. There's laughing and flirting. There might be moments of intimacy and sharing, but they're not hte focus. Early dating is about testing the waters - is there an attraction, do we enjoy hanging out together, do we seem to have similar views and values. What sort of lifestyle do we lead - are they goign to be compatible.

Well, we can all tell you that he is an abusive prick who's just in it for a fuck, but you're not going to listen are you? You're going to cling on, chase him, pester him, tell him what hotel he can book so he can get his fun, no strings and then he'll ignore you again. I hope this is actually a wind up post cos he has already shown his true colours. That should have been enough.

You don't even know this man. He sounds vile. Write him off, he's just someone you encountered online, he isn't 'real'. What does it matter what he said, he's nothing. The only reason he is chatting up women online is because he is inadequate.

The "sweetest" person calls you a "slag"!!!

Wind forward a few years and you'll be another domestic abuse statistic. It's easy to avoid these types of men but with your attitude you'll become yet another DA victim. Bin him now.

He's a dick. Why are you bothering with him at all?

I think it may be an issue the drinking - he told me his dad doesn’t speak to him when he goes round to see his mum and dad he said they clash especially when they’re both drunk. He’s told me his dad is horrible when he drinks - they get into fights and arguments - he has made it clear that he goes out drinking and fighting quiet a lot, he called him self “evil” & that he can turn once he’s had a drink. This was before he switched up on me but I can see exactly what he means by this now

Maybe yourself why you are mooning about over a wanker who calls you ugly and a slag. You need therapy.

He’s the first person I have opened up to in so long, he has made me feel something in so long I have honestly felt dead inside for so long - I have a thing where I use my dreams at night as a way to escape if this makes sense. I create my own little world in my dreams but I haven’t needed to do this since speaking with him because I finally feel somewhat a purpose now

I will admit I probably do need therapy I am currently on medication for my mental
health but it definitely doesn’t work

OP, I mean this kindly, but you need to get some self-respect and bin him. He's not even worth the effort you're putting into writing these posts. He's called you an ugly slag FFS. Who cares if he was pissed when he said it - he's an absolute bellend. Ditch him and maybe consider getting some counselling so you don't waste any more of your life mooning after absolute wastemen.

He’s not ‘the sweetest person ever’, he’s unpredictable, nasty and will cause you a lot of pain. Bin him.

@YourTealMaker The drink is not the issue. Your lack of self-love and respect is.
A toxic person is toxic either drunk or not. It resides inside them.
I agree with everyone else. Start investing your time and money on your own self, so that you wont fall victim to another abusive twat again. Time to stay single.

You like being insulted and ignored?

You really ought to do something about thst tbh. Its not healthy.