Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

[DeepBalonz]

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

You know what they say…. ask stupid questions and all

Some very bloody sanctimonious people on this thread who need to get off their high horses.

Thanks to everyone who has offered advice.

You haven't changed your mind this whole thread so I'm not sure why you are asking everyone for their views?

The confusion I think for people and why we've all got in a muddle is that you are serving what most on here would consider normal supper food as a snack. That's all there is to it. And you are still 100% determined to do so despite that being pointed out which is perfectly fine, so what do you need from us now? Probably not any other opinions needed? Or any opinions in the first place really.

Bit of a pointless thread...

well if serving a couple of fish fingers causes confusion then the problem is beyond me.

But your ‘facts’ are not ‘facts’ at all. And of course it’s subjective.

Actual, measurable facts - Two fishfingers and 3 tablespoons of beans is no different calorie wise than many of the ‘snacks’ being suggested here, it’s less in some cases. And it contains more protein and less sugar than many of the suggestions.

Plus, these are 4 year olds who won’t have eaten since a sandwich at 11.30 and won’t be eating again until after 6pm.

What do you need from us here?

Honestly I don’t think this is representative.

Mine are in a ‘leafy’ bit of the London suburbs and fish fingers/ nuggets are a playdate standard. Or maybe pasta with tomato sauce/ mac and cheese/ bolognaise. The only thing I avoid strictly is any pork as we have a high Muslim population at the school . I tend to text parents in advance saying ‘planning to give them dinner at x time, what do they like?’ to avoid anyone’s food wastage.

Fair, but could you be extrapolating too much based on the comments in this thread. That's all. 🤷‍♀️

PS: such absolute nonsense on this thread. In my experience, all children fall out of school STARVING and I would much rather they ate fish fingers than a billion haribo (or were left to be hungry until official meal time 🫠)

Not sure why you’re getting so much flack here OP. My kids would be absolutely starving going from 3.30 until 6 without anything substantial. I’d be chuffed you’d given them some hot rather just a pack of crisps etc. Yes you could give them veggie sticks and a crumpet etc but I don’t see this as being a worse option and it will fill them up and keep them happy!

Also can’t find the comment but to the person who said four year olds don’t need four meals… 1) OP isn’t suggesting a full meal, 2) My 4yo will sometimes eat two breakfasts, lunch, a second lunch when in from school, then tea. Very healthy and active, would rather five meals a day than a billion snacks.

Definitely oven food for the playdates, and when I've said that to parents they've all been relieved as that's what their kids eat.

Your tea sounded fine until you mentioned eating dinosaurs...?

You asked the mother if you should feed her child dinner.
She has then unmistakably said ‘no thank you’ ( and for very good reasons)
You are going to ignore her and feed him anyway.
What you are planning is not a snack. It’s a meal.
It is not about calories or nutrients.
I don’t believe cooking fish fingers and beans is easier than a little bit of cheese, bread sticks and apples.
Just be prepared for her to be a bit fed up with you.
I would be.

Fwiw I offer mine food every 2-3 hours/whenever I'm getting something myself. DC eats what they want. Food choices aside, it doesn't sound like a lot of food you plan to serve. My kid would be fairly hungry by 3-4pm if last meal was 11:30/noon. I find it weird that some here seem to be quite controlling of food for their growing children and would be angry if their hungry child ate enough at 4 to not want dinner at 6. Maybe the child's needs are to have more of a meal at 4 and a snack at 6? Maybe they need two substantial meals? Needs change, too. I certainly wouldn't get pissed off over it.

BTW, can you take my dc for an afternoon next week?
I can reciprocate the week after. 😉

In West Hampstead everything had to be fully home made. So I would check.

Then we moved out of London..........

She can be fed up with a different babysitter next time then.
No way would I be doing more favours for anyone who got that upset about a fishfinger. Dear me.
This thread has been eye opening for me. Who knew there were so many uptight people hung up on designated (usually empty carby) snack foods. Wow.

Absolutely, mine and their playmates were ravenous after school. I always had a platter for them on arrival: fruit, crackers, piece of cheese or slice of ham at 4ish after they'd chased back from school and before tearing round the garden for two hours before tea at 6 which was hot and proper.

Very odd that people are horrified at the suggestion of fish fingers and a few beans are in large suggesting foods with a higher calorie content, a very bizarre attitude.

OP if the parents are dim enough to think two fish fingers and a few spoons of beans is more significant than an apple, some cheese and a bit of toast/crackers they’re clearly not the brightest!

I wouldn’t cook for a snack. If my child had come over for a play date whereby I’d said please don’t give them dinner are are going to grandparent and then they came home saying they’d had fish fingers and beans (perfectly nutritious meal) then I’d be pissed off and they wouldn’t be coming again. Just do some bread sticks cheese cubes and fruit. Not all 4 year olds eat a lot.

So is it about the 'cooking', which is hardly a cost or effort seeing as every man and his dog has an air fryer these days?

Otherwise 'bread sticks, cheese cubes and fruit' isn't rationally any less 'dinner' than a couple of fish fingers and a small amount of beans.

Three breadsticks 75 calories
an apple around 95 calories
cheese, lets say the size of one of those cheese portions in a net, a small match box 83 calories

So a total of 253 calories, it would also take up a decent amount of stomach space, fruit due to fibre does, breadsticks are also quite big.

two fish fingers 115 calories
Two table spoons of beans 100g is 81 calories, so two table spoons would be around 45-65 calories depending on the spoon. So a total if we go for the upper end of 180 calories. The actual food is smaller in mass too, I imagine similar fibre from the beans.

So you’d be pissed off they had fed them the smaller option with fewer calories?

Is breadsticks , cheese and fruit less than 2 fishfingers and a scoop of beans? No.
It's not automatically more food just because it's hot.

no Need for a 4th meal of the day! If you want to give them something hot then a mug of soup maybe?

If you look at her replies, the OP is doing beans and fishfingers anyway (perfectly fine obviously..no one really cares either way) no matter what any one on this thread suggests, and is put out if anyone suggests anything else. I'm not sure why she started this thread really. She doesn't seem to be getting anything out of it so it's a waste of everyone's time.