Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

[DeepBalonz]

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

If you're cooking, I'd think that was more like dinner. I'd be looking more at afternoon snacks, apple slices and cheese, with a biscuit afterwards.

If it's 'dinner' ie main evening meal I usually ask the parents for likes & dislikes. If it's after school snacks, I would just offer what mine usually have - fruit/veg sticks, yoghurt, cheese and crackers or if they're hungrier maybe a crumpet with Jam or some noodles

It’s just annoying how people are saying “2 fish fingers and a few tablespoons of beans is a gluttonous amount of food. How about this equally filling (and less nutritious) alternative?” I’m hardly going to be standing over the little boy force feeding him

I will be plating up a snack sized portion. Nowhere near anything I would give for dinner.

I thought this was an okay idea as let’s be honest it’s highly palatable to kids and about 30 seconds of effort. In addition to not being full of sugar which is the last thing I want to deal with as I would like to get on with some unpacking in the background.

And to suggest what I am doing is anywhere near unhealthy is ridiculous. My child is bang on the weight he should be whilst being one of the tallest boys in his class.

If the child is going home to eat a family dinner the don’t feed him that much food.
Some fruit, biscuits and maybe some cheese or toast is plenty.

But for many 4 year olds 3 fish fingers and beans is a whole meal.
Some of the things that have been suggested are not any better I agree.
But I really would feed someone else’s child a meal like that after they’d asked me not to.
A few small snacks is what would be expected.

This, that’s what I’d do for my daughter, anywhere from 2 til 3.30pm

edit, it didn’t include the quote. I was quoting a poster who said cheese and crackers, and salad sticks/fruit at that time.

It's just a different way to eat. Mine wouldn't have a hot meal at that point but hot vs cold makes no difference actually.

It's more 'snack' than 'tea' in our house. Crudités, cheese, yogurt, fruit, toast, something like that.

Soup and soldiers? Very low effort, warm, nutritious, and filling.

I think it's more that you might take the edge off the guest's appetite for supper at home? Not in a hunger sort of way..more in the type of food. It's nice to have variety and if you have had mini suppery type of food 2 hours earlier and then the same or similar again at home you might not be keen. I wouldn't be keen. I suppose that's why afternoon tea with cakes etc was invented?

Anyway you seem really keen on fishfingers so I don't know why you are asking everyone else? Go for it!

What would you give your kid? Make that.
i wouldn’t serve what you’re suggesting because that’s not what we eat at home, but if that’s what you eat, serve that.

I’ve been living in an Asian country where there are very different food habits I suppose. There is a real emphasis on hot food which I suppose I have not shaken.

It's fine. And agree more nutritious than a jam sandwich.

Do they have a proper meal at 11.30 lunch? If so and the child will be having another proper meal at 6.30 then also crumpets, babybel and piece of fruit would be fine too.

I really want a hot buttered crumpet now, has been years since I had one!

Anyone who was sniffy at me serving their kid fishfingers when I'm providing 4+ hours of free childcare would not be offered further favours.

This gave me a great laugh

I guess that’s where I’m going wrong. Husband is East Asian and that is where son has been raised. I don’t think I can give the foods/snacks I have been used to preparing for kids

It depends a bit on if that's going to be their main evening meal. If so then anything goes really. Just the normal food you've got as leftovers, or fish fingers, beans, cheese on toast, crudités with hummus and pitta, tuna toastie sandwich? Potato waffles, pasta with tomato sauce...whatever the kids like and will eat. Fun, picky stuff usually would go down well. You could get flatbread and ingredients and they could make their own pizza?

You should! Sometimes kids love new food. My mum wasn't from this country and all my friends loved her weird delicacies and I now make them for my kid's friends who love them too as they don't get that sort of food anywhere else! I'm just judicious in what I serve.

More frequent eating is fine as long as the portion sizes are appropriate. Lots of 4yo never sit still, so little and often is necessary.

Cant beat a freezer tea but the MN Hyacinths will feed their little Lord Fauntleroys avocado on crispbread and with a guacamole dip with a lemon wedge on the side.

Cant beat a freezer tea but the MN Hyacinths will feed their little Lord Fauntleroys avocado on crispbread and with a guacamole dip with a lemon wedge on the side.

I try to avoid ultra processed foods but most kids like simple pasta dishes like cheesy pasta cooked from scratch and served with veg takes about 10 minutes

@DeepBalonz

Why not, mine have eaten Asian food all their lives, kids exposed to lots of cultures tend to eat well.

Agree! You can get vegan nuggets also if you're cooking for a vegetarian kid. And I always have chopped tomato, cucumber, pepper and some berries knocking around (plus some sort of smallish pudding)

I would not have been going back to that house if I was served that as a kid!! Having a friend round is for also having treats!!

I don’t know why people are being so weird about the amount of “meals”! It’s completely normal, if they were at nursery they would have a similar small meal / heavy snack around 4pm. Aged 4 is even more reason to offer the more food not less! They burn so much running about all day.

It’s also such a faff. The mothers in the country we used to live are known for being somewhat matyr like and borderline Stepford Wife-esque.

Glad to get away from the misogyny tbh!