Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

[DeepBalonz]

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

My 4 year old has lunch at around 12 at school and is absolutely starving again by hometime so I was finding I was using more and more snacks to bridge the gap till dinner. I wasn’t happy with that so moved dinner up to 5pm, or even just before - which works ok for us most evenings although not always depending on where DH and I are both working.

Anyway, my point is that if she’d had lunch at 11.30, and then had to wait till 6pm for dinner (and actually the child on this play date will be eating later than that even - he’s not being collected till 6 so depends on how long it takes to get to whatever these plans are with his grandparents and then get served dinner) she would have absolutely needed something more substantial than a piece of fruit and a biscuit in between.

I would tend to go for something like pitta and hummus and veg, crumpets with cheese or a bit of fruit loaf with nut butter + fruit - but because those are the sorts of things my daughter enjoys so it’s just where my mind would go.

2 fishfingers plus 3 tablespoons baked beans comes to about 240 calories plus contains protein, fibre etc. A banana and a digestive is 178 according to my tracking app, and whilst it’s still fine in my eyes, is more sugar.

Quite right i remember going to a friends house as a kid and the meal included kidney beans. I was disgusted.

Well if you can't be arsed just do mini babybels, crumpets and apples and be done with it. That's perfectly normal and you can't be criticised for that.

Both my kids’ nurseries served tea at around 3-4 which was a hot meal and then they would for sure come home and eat dinner again in the evening. I think if they didn’t have that meal they would be starving - and both of mine are not particularly big eaters and very slim! DC1 is in school now and will often eat a plate of leftovers from the night before and having dinner again a couple of hours later. I’d be delighted if you fed my DCs a hot meal in that time!

I now want fish fingers! I did that sort of tea for my child back in the 90's and often did it for my neighbour's child when I used to occasionally pick then up from nursery and then school. Always did some for me too as it is a yummy comforting tea.

If it's not dinner then I'd probably do toasted crumpets or pitta bread then. With hummus / cream cheese / just butter / bit of cheese and some cucumber / tomatoes.

I always did pizza or hotdogs with tomato and cucumber on the side.

I’d probably do a snack platter then. Cubes of cheese, maybe some little chicken popcorn things, breadsticks, strawberries, apple slices or orange segments, carrots and hummus, little rice cakes etc. Then they can pick whatever they like and leave anything they don’t.

Three fish fingers plus several tablespoons of beans is almost what an adult would eat for a lunch - chuck in half a baked potato or two slices of toast.. thats a light adult meal so yes that is a lot for 4 year olds.

What IS the obsession with hot food - the temperature the food is served at has zero bearing on the nutritional content or energy value of that food!

If they've been running about outside then yes a warm drink or hot meal may be nice, but it doesn't alter the nutritional value at all!

Give them some snacks - a mix of the stuff you normally serve plus something commonly accepted amongst small children will do just fine.

Lol I make tomato marscapone pasta and garlic bread. Always goes down a treat at this age

Like your grown up DC's friend, I would deffo also come to yours for tea.
Sounds lush.

In fact, can you fit me in next Thurs?

He will being having breakfast at home lunch at nursery and then evening meal at nan and grandads so all you need to supply is afternoon snack which to me would be something like fruit or crisps

I would probably just give a small toasted pancake and a petit filous yogurt. Children's bellies don't need to be full at all times.

Well when my 4 year old was in pre-school, he had lunch at 11.30am and a small tea at 3.30pm and then a small dinner with us at 6pm.

I think that's fairly standard so not too sure why everyone is accusing op of over feeding.

But the OP is saying 2 fish fingers and a spoon or two of beans and hasn't mentioned baked potatoes or toast at all and yet nearly everyone is saying that about 200 calories of fish fingers and beans is far too much but a pile of crumpets, biscuits, yogurts, cheese, pancakes etc is all fine. Makes no sense whatsoever.

And what's wrong with hot food exactly? So many people seem to think it's the OP that's overfeeding because her DC has more than one hot meal a day, yet they're suggesting she offers a load of carby cold crap instead.

The child is due to have dinner with his grandparents after six. Hence the child only needs a small snack and not a dinner.

Do you honestly think a 4 year old will get through from midday to after 6pm on one piece of fruit or a packet of crisps?

I get that more than 3 meals is generally unnecessary but nurseries and pre-schools do meals at times that sometimes make it necessary.

If the friend’s eating dinner when he gets home at 6pm and has lunch at 11.30, I’d suggest snacks, rather than a meal like fish fingers. Otherwise he won’t eat his dinner when he gets home.

At that age, for snacks I gave mine:

• hummus or cream cheese with carrots, cucumber and breadsticks for dipping;
• chopped up fruit, like slices of apple, pear, grapes, mango, pineapple;
• dried fruit (apricots, raisins, banana chips)
• biscuits (like shortbread fingers or Pink Panther wafers).

Maybe lay a few things out on the table and his friend can take what he likes.

Also put out what your son normally has for a snack, as his friend will probably love it. Not all kids are fussy eaters.

When my kids had friends for ‘tea’ (i.e. dinner), they always just ate whatever we normally ate: curry, stir fry, pasta, salad etc.

@Marblesbackagain what would a small snack look like in this scenario? Assuming he finishes lunch at midday and won't eat dinner until after 6pm?

my reason for a platter is unles so know the child well, I also don’t know how well they usually sit and eat meals, whether they like stuff etc.. so it’s easier and less stress you just put 3-4 different things on a plate in the middle and let them choose what they like. It might be apple, cheese, mini pretzels and mini blueberry muffins. If they choose to only eat a muffin or only cheese that’s up to them

But my own 4 year old is really fussy with meals, so I wouldn’t want someone else to feed them a main meal

This is so weird. To serve dinner before dinner. Just no.

SAUSAGES!!!

Can't go wrong. Obviously with loads of ketchup to smear over the furniture (not the low sugar one, natch)

If they're having dinner at home which it sounds like they are I'd just put out some snacks. They don't need two dinners.

That's unpleasant.

I think what you’re planning sounds fine, OP. If it helps for the future, here’s a list of meals I’ve served kids/ my kid has been served on play dates recently. All have been very acceptable, and nobody has ever raised concerns.

We do avoid nuts and some other allergens because kids we know have allergies, so we tend to play it quite safe on that front -

pizza and veg sticks with hummus
spag bol and garlic bread
sausage and mash and peas
noodle stir fry with chicken and veg
picnic plates
tomato and cheese pasta
chicken wraps with salad and fries
BBQ sausages and burgers with corn on the cob, salads and garlic bread
pancakes (that was a breakfast play date but we do make pancakes for lunch sometimes)

Puddings are typically an ice lolly, fruit or a slice of cake (less often). Our friends don’t really do fizzy drinks or sweets on play dates unless it’s a VERY special occasion- and again, I tend to err on the side of caution with that stuff.