Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

[DeepBalonz]

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

I agree. 2 fish fingers and a quarter tin of beans less 200 calories. Up it to 3 fish fingers and you get about 270 calories. A teacake with butter around 200 calories. Houmous is high calorie as is cheese and most of the other stuff people are suggesting.

Your sandwich, biscuits and a warm drink, is probably more calorific than OPs offering. A single slice of bread can have well over 100 calories as can a biscuit, before you put anything on the bread. Volume wise it is about the same so how is one a dinner and the other not? I'm genuinely curious about this.

How is fruit, biscuits and cheese on toast less food than 2 or 3 fish fingers and a quarter tin of beans?

a few fish fingers/chicken nuggets, beans & hand full of chips is perfectly fine. Mine would have no problem wolfing it down and later having their actual evening meal.

as a one off fine, but surely if a child is eating two dinners every day this IS a problem? 25% of children are obese when they start school - and most of their parents insist they’re not as they’re not used to what normal looks like on a child anymore.

a few fish fingers, beans and chips is what I would eat as an adult if I wanted that kind of dinner. It’s not a snack for a 4 year old

I’m not from the UK, but fish fingers, beans and chips would be considered a friday night extremely lazy dinner. Not an afternoon snack. Chips or even crisps as an everyday snack for kids, the rest of us can’t quite get our heads around it tbh.

1130 till 6 is a long time with no food.

id suggest a sandwich at 1pm.

nothing wrong with fish fingers and beans but not if parents are planning to feed dinner when the kid gets home.

I'd offer a slice of toast with cheese, jam, or peanut butter, and a piece of fruit to go with it.

nothing wrong with fish fingers and beans but not if parents are planning to feed dinner when the kid gets home

But why? Why is a very small portion of fish fingers and beans 'too much' and 'an extra dinner' when its no more food than a sandwich or all the other suggestions that people are saying are more appropriate despite being a similar amount of food?

I’ve clearly been out of the UK for too long but tbh I don’t remember ever being served ‘afternoon tea’ when I grew up there - especially not a hot, savoury meal. It would usually be something snacky after school.

In France now, where school lunch tends to be around 12 noon then dinner not served until 7 or 8 pm. So a snack (goûter) is served around 4pm and it’s always, always sweet. Baguette with chocolate in, pancakes, crepes with Nutella. Shared bag of Haribo on a bad / busy day 😂.

I said cheese or toast. Not both.
An apple a digestive and half a piece of toast is a snack.
The fact is, that in the uk, white British household, fish fingers and beans is seen as a full, dinner, meal for a small child.
If I had specifically requested that my child was not given dinner, then they came home and told me they’d had fish fingers and beans for ‘tea’ I’d be a bit miffed. That would sound to me as though my stated wishes have been completely ignored.
I love fish fingers, no issue with feeding them to anyone. BUT they are not appropriate in this instant.

I think if the guest is used to a cold snack mid-afternoon - sandwich, crackers, fruit or yoghurt etc - then fish fingers and baked beans might seem like a quite substantial meal. Also, "a few tablespoons of beans" sounds like an adult portion.

I think fishfingers and beans is fine. Mine would eat that and still eat their tea later!

Honestly if you'd looked after my kid for 6hrs & fed them I really wouldn't care if they didn't then want much of their evening meal!

I'm absolutely having a freezer fest dinner on Friday after reading this thread.

How is 200 calories of carbs and sugar better than a couple of fish fingers?

I would ask - my ARFID child wouldn't eat any of that but then there is very little they will eat and I would probably send them with food and tell you. Probably not very likely to be the case here but surely worth checking re allergies, dietary requirements etc

If I had specifically requested that my child was not given dinner, then they came home and told me they’d had fish fingers and beans for ‘tea’ I’d be a bit miffed. That would sound to me as though my stated wishes have been completely ignored.

As a rule though if someone if looking after your kids for that length of time you would just roll with it I would have thought rather than expecting Op to change what she does.

I suppose it also depends how much/what they eat at nursery & what time Op would feed them as to whether it would really impact.

I don't think there enough info here from anyone to assess their knowledge of nutrition, what the overall diet of their children is, activity level, health status, weight, etc.

In that case I normally just do a plate of cucumber, bread sticks, rice cakes, satsuma, apple, cheese, hummus etc. put it on the table and let them help themselves to what they want.

Buy pancakes, put in toaster, lightly brown, butter, eat.

I’m from the uk and agree!

The op is suggesting two fish fingers and beans as a snack, the mother of the child has stated they will have an evening meal not to give a dinner.

I am sorry but it is a fact that the op proposal is a meal a typical size volume and calories for a meal not a snack. That isn't subjective.

The comments on child obesity relates to the well published and clearly viewable there is a growing issue with children who are significantly overweight. They can't all have genetic issues.

I see it everyday walking by a certain fast food place, children who can't run around, clothing barely closing snd eating full adult meals. It is abusive and tragic the life long health issues that are being laid down.

It is lazy. And I am okay with that. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

I have 2 four year olds to look after whilst unpacking a house. Fish fingers and baked beans are perfectly fine nutrition wise. The baked fish fingers are a good source of protein whilst the beans count as one of your 5 a day and provide fibre.

I’m not giving chips.

Just give them whatever you can find in the house I’m sure it will be fine

No I’m not suggesting fish fingers and beans constitute a perfectly well balanced snack.

The timings are awkward. The visiting boy will have had sandwiches at 11:30 am and no dinner until after 6pm. My suggestion is to offer somewhat of an in between option. I can’t believe I am explaining this to this degree!

I am trying to come up with an imperfect solution to an imperfect scenario. I want to give them a bit more substance than just some cheese and fruit whilst also leaving room for dinner.

The boys are both perfectly healthy weights. I wholeheartedly adopt an everything in moderation approach. To suggest what I am doing exemplifies why the UK has a child obesity crisis is absurd.