Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

[DeepBalonz]

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

If this is between lunch and dinner then fish fingers chips and beans is too much. That would be my children’s dinner served at around 5pm.
Inbetween 12pm lunch and 5pm dinner there might be a snack around 3pm of fruit, yoghurt, breadsticks, cucumber or peppers etc. But definitely not a full meal

Jeeze, if my kids had that kind of meal in the afternoon, they'd not want their evening family meal. I wouldn't be too thrilled if a friend parent fed them a hot meal in the afternoon!

An afternoon snack would be fruit, biscuits, or something like a toasted teacake.

I guess my child is greedy because what I am suggesting would not put him off his dinner.

Crumpet and cheese, small sandwich, bagel thin.

kids - even boys gasp - don’t need 3 full meals after breakfast

Fruit or veg sticks and a slice of cake or a biscuit here. I'd also be annoyed if someone fed my DC a meal in the middle of the afternoon. Give a hot chocolate or a fruit tea if you want to give them something warm.

Just clocked they are only 4 too! Please don’t feed your kids this much on a regular basis….

The hysteria. I’m taking a couple of fish fingers and a few tablespoons of baled beans.

My child is rake thin.

If they’ll eat those they’re not fussy eaters!

Not fussy eaters in our house but in extended family it’s wild (wondering about possible ARFID).

I would ask the parents although would not be peeved about dinner being spoilt as a PP has said, as long as DC has eaten something and it’s not sugary rubbish I’d be happy enough.

You either feed dinner (5.30 pm ish) or just a light snack straight after school eg fruit m, a biscuit, no more - parents won't thank you for half a dinner

How is what you suggested any less food than 2 fish fingers and 3/4 tablespoons of beans.

Gosh that's the world's longest playdate. Usually a couple of hours max.

Is the nursery lunch a proper meal at 11.30? Its very early. Id give your meal at 2 and call it lunch. "Tea" in the uk often means the main evening meal for children, served around 5pm. It means scones/cakes & tea at 4ish if you are posh adults who won't eat supper until 8.

Me and DC would happily eat that and then dinner later (not overweight, just big appetites).

Ours get a similar meal at about 4 at nursery/after school club. They don't usually eat their dinner at home after that, so I wouldn't give that much if the family have dinner plans. A sandwich if they're starving, crackers, yoghurt, fruit etc would be our go to.

2 Fishfingers was more than either of mine ate for dinner at that age, it certainly would ruin their appetite. The fact she specifically said not to serve dinner means I suggest you keep the amount modest

What you’re proposing isn’t a snack to keep them going until dinner time, it’s a whole meal. I’d give them a banana or some veg sticks and hummus. Kids don’t need an extra meal at 4pm.

Thanks for input. I guess I have always known my child is a very healthy eater with a ridiculous metabolism like his dad. Will take that into consideration

Afternoon tea was never a thing at nursery age. DS might have had some toast or fruit or pancakes, etc, to tide him over until 6ish when we ate our evening meal (dinner or tea depending on which bit of the UK you are in)
If your neighbour said not to feed him, just a snack, not a meal.

11.30 lunch is very early! Mine would be starving without something fairly substantial to eat before 6pm. But if mum has said no dinner, I'd do a picky plate - cubed cheese, veggie sticks, crackers, ham, dip maybe a yoghurt or something. That way they can police their own appetites and mum can't moan, but you also wont be dealing with a hangry little boy.

The hysteria.

@DeepBalonz you think my posts show uncontrollable emotion or excitement? Weird

I’d not bother cooking fishfingers, just do toast/crumpets. Check for allergies - dependent on answer then offer PB, houmous, cream cheese. And a couple of fruits, melon, satsuma, grapes usually a hit. Things that caught me out with fussy eaters - don’t like butter, don’t like brown bread, don’t like toast hot and must wait for it to cool so spread doesn’t melt 🤷‍♀️

OP like your kid my kid would eat what you propose as a snack. And then have a full on meal for dinner. Kids are good at knowing how much to eat. 11:30 to 6 is very long time with just a small snack in my opinion (at that age); unless you want to deal with cranky hungry and tired kids from about 4ish onwards

So it seems that a couple of fish fingers and a spoon of beans is 'tiny' when served for a school lunch, but if it's served as a mid afternoon snack, it's an enormous meal that will set them on the road to childhood obesity, despite being more nutritious and probably fewer calories than suggested alternatives like crumpets or jam sandwiches and biscuits?

I think it's probably better to call it lunch so the hysteria dies down. No child will go obese eating a meal between breakfast and lunch.

Yes this is what we serve all visiting children unless we know they don’t eat it. These days you generally need to check allergies and preferences with the parents. My 7 year old daughter has 2 vegetarian friends and a child whose parents prefer her to avoid dairy and gluten! TBF the last child usually brings a meal from home.

It’s more I wouldn’t want to put the oven on to cook 4-6 fishfingers!