I don't want to contribute to Sister's health treatments. t

[SILDilema]

Sister is very ill, terminally, has teen kids and is looking at additional private health care.

We've had some heavy hints dropped about how much this will cost.
Her family also have private school fees, and over the last three years spent considerable sums (over 100k) on a hobby plus various bucket list exotic trips. We don't know what their future plans are for funding the ongoing costs of teen hobbies and fees.

We earn less, spend less and don't have a terrible diagnosis hanging over our head.

I feel sad about any family going through this.
But AIBU to not want to contribute financially?

My judgement is clouded because before all this she was quite horrible to me and that hasn't changed recently either.

@LIJ a therapist?!
With the way you've posted on here 😂

There is no easy way to have that conversation either.

@SILDilema just be grateful she isn’t your therapist!

@SILDilema does sis still have a partner or the other parent of her children around?

Thanks, couldn’t agree more. I’m horrified by the tone of her contributions.

I do not think that this woman is seeking attention. I think that the sister's family wants to eat their cake and have it. They have no right to ask for financial help, since they are not destitute, but they have money to spend on other things. If you want a new car, you do not remodel the kitchen and bathroom, and then you say you don't have money for a new car. We donate money when we want to, not when we are expected to. Of course family dynamics come into it - but this would happen even with close friends, because I have seen it happen. Jealousy does not come into it, because the real issue is that the family has been spending money on things that are not strictly necessary, whereas they could have been spent in the way they want money to do so, from the OP. Look at it this way - would you empty the fridge to donate the food to your neighbour, and leave your own family hungry, just to show that you are a good, kind, generous person, and not at all jealous of their designer clothes?

Exactly this.
many one who doesn’t want to doesn’t have to read or comment on the thread!

No I can imagine.

I’m it sounds very sad x

Yes you read that right. Clever you.

Yep you read that right. Clever you.

OP what a horrible situation to be in. You don't need to contribute. I would just be there like send a meal or something like that. Maybe take the teens somewhere or something.

Absolutely 🙄

Probably not one with many clients!
Some people really struggle to understand not everyone's family dynamics are the same as theirs.

NBU.

Depending on her condition an prognosis your sis may be entitled to NHS funding towards her care; they may want to check out Continuing Health Care (CHC) online. UK countries other than England have different financial contributions set for social care as well, that are not as onerous.