DH and toilet habits

[Baabaasheeps]

Every morning my DH sets an alarm for 6am as he has an hour commute to work.

He often gets up then but will spend up to an hour on the toilet. I’m pretty sure he’s watching videos or reading nonsense in there.

Then he will start getting ready etc meaning he doesn’t get into work until late, this means he works late and never gets home before 8pm. We have a baby and a toddler and he’s never back for bedtime and also never helps in the morning as he’s on the toilet!

AIBU to tell him a few home truths? He’s always complaining he is late for work and ‘doesn’t know where the morning goes’.

I think he does it as a ploy of the daily fail picking up the story from scouting mumsnet threads. This thread made it....

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14072877/Woman-warned-husband-cheating-reveals-bizarre-morning-habit.html

I've been in a relationship with a lovely guy for 3 months. Three weeks after we met it was my birthday and he bought me a bottle of perfume priced at approx £35 and a lovely bouquet. I was pleasantly surprised and would have been happy with just the flowers. It's his birthday next week and I'm not sure what to buy or how much I should spend. I was going to take him out for a nice meal. Is that enough or should I also buy a gift? Your input would be appreciated..

Happy ending massage is free

Yes I agree, BUT when does OP get her time to unwind!? It's simply not fair

I hate this about males in general. They don’t need to be sat on the loo for longer than say 5 mins, even that is too long. Any longer then they are actively doing it to get out of something or have something seriously wrong with them. Ooh I’m having a poo. Come on, push it out wipe and flush etc. Doesn’t take 15 minutes. I stand by the door and tell them I’m timing them when I think they are taking the mick. I sound awful but I’ve got to the point where I can’t stand this behaviour. Dicking about at every opportunity they get as an avoidance tactic and buggering up morning and evening routines. They can’t even piss down a huge hole properly. We expect too much.

that's quite a leap. What does an affair has to do with it?

i would have thought the affair accusation was to make him kick into reality and realise that his behaviour is really weird.

Are you lost dear??

Unpopular opinion.
The poor guy is out working for 14 hours! including a two hour commute. Im not surprised he wants half an hour to himself.

Set your alarm for 5:50.

Get to the bathroom first. Turn on the shower. Hop in. Enjoy a nice twenty minutes of peace...

Does he lock the bathroom door? I'd be disabling the lock if I were you.

A long and serious conversation is in order.

He needs to get to work on time.
He needs to get home in the evenings to parent his own children. The piss taking stops or you take the bathroom door off the hinges/ move his stuff out of the bedroom/ talk to the wives of his friends about his laziness.

The OP is the only one in this scenario with nowhere to escape to.

YYY to this.

He has checked out of the relationships in his life but is still enjoying all the home comforts.

Sounds like he's likely watching pornography on his phone and having a tug and pull.

For one week, do none of the usual work that occupies you apart from feeding yourself and the little ones.

Don't cook dinner for him.
Do none of his laundry.
Don't tidy or clean.
Wash only your dishes.
Buy enough food in only for yourself and the LOs.

He does not have a point.

I don't think this selfish, immature, sorry for himself, resentful man deserves you, @BaBaabaasheeps .

Is there any relative of his who could be trusted to shame him into growing up and behaving himself? Or could your parents tear rashers off him?

Not just unpopular but baffling and also ridiculous.

Do you seriously think this woman gets half an hour to herself from one end of the week to the next?

I had one of these poo long and often types who morphed into a cycle/run each Saturday and Sunday morning followed by a very long poo type. I left him.

That is true but do you have children? The baby is crawling so cannot be left alone at all. I get a couple of hours reprieve when he naps and toddler is at nursery but use this to catch up on cleaning, washing, cooking etc. If DH would watch them for an hour morning or evening I could get out and do something for myself! That’s my complaint.

This

OMG. I totally understand my DH is similar. Only he starts his toilet routine in the evening. Will basically spend an hour if not more with his phone watching videos and whatever. Then comes out around midnight or later and expects me to put out!! I mean WTF. One I’m tired and want to sleep by then and then who wants to be in bed with someone who has spent the last hour sitting on the shitter in the confines of fumes!!! You are definitely not being unreasonable and nor am I!!!

My DH does the same except he has to be at work at a specific time so he chooses to get up an hour earlier than he needs to so that he can do it. He also does the same when he gets home from work. If I’m home with the kids I tend to give him about 30 minutes then send our eldest through to the bathroom to tell him he wants to play 🤷‍♀️. The days I’m at work too he doesn’t have the luxury to sit for too long as he has to quickly shower then go and pick the kids up from childcare. When we moved house a few years ago one of my requirements was that we had a second toilet as I was fed up of not being able to use the bathroom in a morning when trying to get ready for work.

I read that men and women poo differently. Men are known to actually go to the toilet to have a poo whether they need it or not because they've been told they should poo at lest once a day whereas women don't try until they need to go.
I advise putting up a picture of the Bristol Stool Chart and asking him to report to you on style and consistency.

Imagine having to set a toilet time alarm for an adult man. I’ve heard it all now. 🤣

He’s clearly taking the piss (!), OP.

I’m not sure why you are just letting him have this peace? Walk in, or on the door or just make him aware that he’s pissing his morning away sitting on his phone on the loo and it’s ridiculous. Or start locking yourself in the loo for an hour when he gets home…..:

'watching nonsense'

😂

Quite

He's obviously doing something he shouldn't be.
However, ime boys and men spend ages (tho not that long usually) on the loo in the morning. The only way we finally got our brother to stop sitting there for what seemed like hours was for my sister & I to walk in on him!