Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I completely F up with the guy I’m seeing?

180 replies

RealAquaCat · 11/11/2024 19:03

Hi!
So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ 🤔 I took this to mean that this was an immature way of saying he didn’t want to see me again? (this man is 32 years of age btw…)
i’d had a few drinks, and I ended up messaging him saying along the lines of ‘if you don’t want to speak to me anymore then you could just say that, this is the most childish and pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed’. The next day he messaged me saying ‘wait what? When I say all the best I don’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if that’s how it came across’. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages since, although the conversation between us has pretty much died a death.

My question is, would you have taken his messages the same way I did or AIBU? I do regret sending the message and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the wine, I’m so gutted about this as he seemed great and I loved getting to know him 🙄

OP posts:
Bangwam1 · 19/11/2024 14:47

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 18/11/2024 10:13

Will you please not use 'gaslighting' as a slap that you think you're doling out to other posters? It's a specific and overused colloquialism for manipulation. Nobody here is doing that, they're merely giving their opinions and OP is free to take the advice or not, as she sees fit.

Using that term in the scatter-gun manner it's so often used is undermining the seriousness of it and that can only be bad for women.

Some people on here are telling her she probably didn’t experience what she clearly did, the very definition of gaslighting. The poster used it in it’s correct context.

ThatCoralShark · 19/11/2024 15:05

He binned you off then tried to make it your fault. Because he felt embarassed at the way he did it. Taking the piss with his mates. Sorry op. Put it behind you.

mochimoons · 19/11/2024 15:27

Red flag 1 - He sent you cryptic messages when he was drunk and got his friends involved in it too.

Red flag 2 - You got the wrong end of the stick and messaged him which he ignored until the morning - clearly disregarding your feelings about the matter or being so drunk he wasn't coherent enough to respond.

Red flag 3 - He woke up sober (or slightly less drunk at least) and realised he'd been an idiot and tried to cover it up without even really reassuring you that much by the sounds of things.

Even if 'all the best' meant something else (which sounds unbelievable to me) he sounds ridiculous! Let this one go OP!

Kneebonefuture · 19/11/2024 15:33

Bangwam1 · 19/11/2024 14:41

⬆️

How to end up in an abusive relationship

Exactly. Ment aren't manipulative? Funny that when they are the ones responsible for 89% of domestic violence cases and a woman is killed every 3 days by a partner or ex partner. Yes men are just childish and silly 🙄🙄🙄

AmIEnough · 20/11/2024 08:02

Could it be that the message was actually meant for someone else?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread