Did I completely F up with the guy I’m seeing?

[RealAquaCat]

Hi!
So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ 🤔 I took this to mean that this was an immature way of saying he didn’t want to see me again? (this man is 32 years of age btw…)
i’d had a few drinks, and I ended up messaging him saying along the lines of ‘if you don’t want to speak to me anymore then you could just say that, this is the most childish and pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed’. The next day he messaged me saying ‘wait what? When I say all the best I don’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if that’s how it came across’. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages since, although the conversation between us has pretty much died a death.

My question is, would you have taken his messages the same way I did or AIBU? I do regret sending the message and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the wine, I’m so gutted about this as he seemed great and I loved getting to know him 🙄

What else does ‘all the best’ mean then? Other than goodbye.

He did mean it like that and was being a smart arse with his friends, but now back peddling.

How would he like it if you got a video with your pals shouting ‘Bon Voyages!’ at him. And then you saying oh no, I don’t mean it like that.

Don’t pursue him. Don’t text him. If he’s that bothered, throw him back.

I was coming back to this message too but wanted to check if anyone else had.

It's weird, not fun. It's been two dates so not long enough to undersgand each other yet and know what is banter.

It also sounds a bit immature unless OP knows the friends.

I’m not English (I’m European) but been living in this country for 10 years. “All the best” can mean different things from my view, it can be used while toasting and celebrating something or it can be used as “good bye” (that’s my limited knowledge of English language). If I’m exchanging flirty messages with the guy I’m dating and he’s texting me while out with his friends I automatically assume an “all the best” drunken voicemail with his friends is a jokey way of them wishing me good as in they’re toasting with me. I would have a laugh and probably send them another jokey voicemail.

If a guy I’m having a massive argument with texts me “all the best” I would see it as a “good bye”.

Context is everything.

@Thehaberdasher has it right I think. He was definitely giving you the brush off while pissed and with his mates, then likely regretted it the next morning.

My DD is 8.5 now so is asking for skincare (& white fox hoodie😭) too as all her friends are. When she was 7-7.5 & still sometimes now, she was still into teddies/barbie etc. your DD is right where she should be! Year 3 seems to change them!

I agree with this. I think he'd had a few beers and was just being a bit silly, larking around. I wouldn't have assumed he was ending it!

🤭🤭🤭

It was a strange message but you went in a bit heavy with the outrage.

Bunch of dickheads. Probably did it as a drunken dare or a prank. This behaviour is beneath most intelligent people. He'd be dumped anyway.

I’ve no idea how I would have interpreted the message from the friends, but I would think it was weird and annoying.

I would have asked what he meant before going apeshit.

All the best to me is goodbye but your reaction was really over the top.

Dear God. Don't do this. The olive brand is not yours to extend.

I would remain silent and if he messages, and it had better be stellar grovelling and some arse kissing gesture of repentance, then you can see fit to respond and forget about it

However, he's shown himself to be a dick and I'd also interpret this as the gang taking the piss out of you. 32 years old and he does this? It ain't the father of your kids and soulmate, is it?

Yeah, I’m weeping for a man who is so poor at communication he repeatedly sent messages that made someone think he was breaking up with them.

Mmm he is 32 and still sending drunk messages with his friends

I think he was being a twat and now has had second thoughts

until the next time….

Is his native language English? Does he know that 'all the best' is what you say to terminate a conversation, and in isolation, a relationship in general. I'm hoping he was just drunk and silly.
Hopefully he'll get the message not to say stuff like that again. If you want to you should give him another chance of a date maybe...

It’s been two dates. There was no need for you to be so defensive but the whole thing gives me the ick.

I may be so wrong here but I wonder if he and his friends were doing silly challenges through the night like “everyone text the last person you texted and see who gets a response first, last one to get a response takes a shot” or something like that. But it’s badly backfired on him and caused loads of confusion! I do imagine if this was the case he would’ve just explained it, but that was my first thought when I read what he’d done!

It’s bizarre to me that so many think saying all the best is someone breaking up with someone they’ve met for a date twice 🤣

They were both drinking. I’d assume he meant all the best as in enjoy your night.

I think it’s the OP who is the bad at communication by going apeshit without knowing what was going on.

I agree, Unfortunately there’s some very fragile egos out there.

I find it unrealistic when people say they wouldn’t have replied!

If you’re young and dating and receive a message at the weekend from your love interest… why on earth would you ignore it? Assuming you are both employed, the weekend would be prime communication/hang out time? When I was young(er) and single the weekends were when all the exciting and transformative experiences happened- including unexpected messages and flirtations and meet ups. So, no, it’s natural you replied even though you’d had some wine. And I agree that it’s reasonable to feel you were out of the loop of some sort of joke. Maybe you did (or did not) get the wrong end of the stick - but he was certainly being odd, rude even. He should be the one to pursue reconciliation and if he doesn’t then please don’t think you’ve lost a good one. A decent grown up (respectful) person would apologise rather than expect you have played along (how stupid). If you’re looking to be with an eternal teenager or joker then maybe he’s the one.

Well a lot of people on here also think it can mean goodbye, me included. It's not because I'm sensitive or overreacting, it's because that's what it means to a lot of people.

It means both things, OP however automatically chose the ‘break up option’ without stopping to question herself.

Have a bit of empathy. Dating apps are a cesspit. Men spending weeks leading women on, only to unceremoniously dismiss them or ghost them is so commonplace. Dating today can be really soul destroying. OP liked this guy, she got her hopes up and so when thought he was binning her off and then sending her a video with his friends mocking her she was disappointed. I think "going apeshit" is a bit much, she sent a shirty message that's all.