Did I completely F up with the guy I’m seeing?

[RealAquaCat]

Hi!
So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ 🤔 I took this to mean that this was an immature way of saying he didn’t want to see me again? (this man is 32 years of age btw…)
i’d had a few drinks, and I ended up messaging him saying along the lines of ‘if you don’t want to speak to me anymore then you could just say that, this is the most childish and pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed’. The next day he messaged me saying ‘wait what? When I say all the best I don’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if that’s how it came across’. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages since, although the conversation between us has pretty much died a death.

My question is, would you have taken his messages the same way I did or AIBU? I do regret sending the message and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the wine, I’m so gutted about this as he seemed great and I loved getting to know him 🙄

I think the OP misinterpreted the message and overreacted so she should reach out to him as she had two great dates with him and just talk it out! A bit of communication could smooth this over in no time.

I think the same
He's pissed off you pulled him up on his shitty behaviour and has tried to turn it around so you feel you are in the wrong
Forget about him , it was a really weird thing to do after only 2 dates and too much drama

I probably would have interpreted it the same way.

Maybe not have sent the same message as the Op.

But if he didn't mean it & things were Ok, you'd be laughing about it pretty quickly wouldn't you?

You dodged a bullet!!

All the best?!?! WTF are you meant to think that means.

Next ......

i think you were right to interpret the message the way you did. You say “all the best” when you’re saying goodbye to someone and unlikely to see them again, like in a colleagues leaving card. It is likely his friendship groups way of ghosting/ending casual online dating. I bet they thought it was hilarious doing a video from them all, pathetic and immature. Sorry OP.

I’d have thought he was ending it too in a very childish way.
maybe it’s some in-house joke type thing with them but it is odd. May explain why he’s single if he does things like this. Also if he’s backed off you may have had a lucky escape if he didn’t see how stupid it was

I would have messaged saying is this for me?

I think he feels shit you pulled him up on it and had tried to confuse you even further.
That isn’t a fun message to send anybody. If he had sent it by accident he’d have been mortified but he’d done nothing to apologise.
Leave him in the past.
Him and his friends sound like a gang of idiots.

All the best where I come from is like saying cheers when drinking.

Dont beat yourself up

He was definitely trying to end it

If he likes you, he will be back in touch

i think he was being friendly - where I come from it’s a wam sign off ❤️😂.

i thought the exact same thing

this

Why not just suggest you meet up for a drink and both apologise for the confusion?

It seems a silly thing to have pride over.

I don't think I'd have known how to take that video without knowing the guy really well. The main thing is whether you want to carry on seeing him. Good luck whatever you decide.

He doesn't want to see the OP again.

why ask when the response will be no thanks, or he will just ghost her. Not a very positive prospect.

Sorry to derail but if “Kind regards” is actually a way to say “fuck off”, “Best regards” is pretty standoffish, and “Regards” actually means anything but, then is there any nice, warm signoff in England that stops short of “Love and kisses” ?

That's not what the OP said in later messages... She said she was too embarrassed to try and make contact again.

Who says that??!?

(Him, obviously 🤔)

Could a mate have pinched his phone and sent the message?

I agree. Or he's got confused with cheers 🍻 lol

We females think too much about what males say and do. 32 is very young for a male (so is 60 btw!!). Make a habit from now on to just ignore childish play on his part. If you like him and want to be with him then try not to react to such actions. Talk to your girlfriends and complain about his childishness but do not confront him (unless of course he is downright rude or violent or mean that is a different game that goes without saying). If he does something a little silly like what he did do not try to read in that he was being manipulative. Women are the manipulative ones. Men are just childish and get each other going. Also, playing the silly game back to him will not work with men. The subtly of these actions is a female one. With men things are more black and white while they are more childish and immature than females (generally speaking). Always exceptions but this is a safer rule I believe. Others no doubt will disagree but I can tell you my dear sister, I have alot of experience with males.

It was weird, and possibly a miscommunication but clearly you don't usually say 'all the best' if you'll be texting the next day. It sounded quite final and he then gets his mates involved.
This would have been humiliating if it had meant what you thought. You then saying 'childish and pathetic ' means it's boiled over what can probably be brought back after just a couple of dates. I feel it's one of those you will never 'win' if you do get in contact so would leave it. Definitely don't grovel

Reminds me a bit of someone I really liked sending me a very inappropriate picture (not sexual or offensive, just looked much worse than it was without context. He was an idiot to send it). I was truly taken aback and replied on the defensive. So did he and it was too early to come back from. There sometimes isn't the goodwill early on to get past stupid mistakes but actually I thinnk both examples are probably indicative of differences that would have cone up later.

I agree he sounds a bit immature sending that ambiguous message but she sounds equally immature by jumping to conclusions right away and going bananas on him. Two immature people make a bad combo.