Did I completely F up with the guy I’m seeing?

[RealAquaCat]

Hi!
So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ 🤔 I took this to mean that this was an immature way of saying he didn’t want to see me again? (this man is 32 years of age btw…)
i’d had a few drinks, and I ended up messaging him saying along the lines of ‘if you don’t want to speak to me anymore then you could just say that, this is the most childish and pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed’. The next day he messaged me saying ‘wait what? When I say all the best I don’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if that’s how it came across’. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages since, although the conversation between us has pretty much died a death.

My question is, would you have taken his messages the same way I did or AIBU? I do regret sending the message and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the wine, I’m so gutted about this as he seemed great and I loved getting to know him 🙄

He doesn't sound worth keeping in touch with

There is no other way to take the message. Cut him off. It's not worth the stress.

Absolutely this. Of course it sounds like a goodbye, who the fck just randomly texts someone that?

I suspect he was pissed and so were his friends and it seemed like a stupid joke that he's now embarrassed about so he's framing it as you being too sensitive.

Twat.

I'd have thought he was out and thinking of you and couldn't really think of how to say it, then you said it back and all his mates absolutely took the piss out of him for saying that (probs when he went "wtf did I say that")

He was acting weird. The only time I’d say ‘all the best’ to someone is if I was planning on breaking off communication with them, or if it was an acquaintance’s birthday or something. I’d have took it like you, OP. What a weird thing to randomly say without any prior context, never mind getting his mates involved. Yeah, just forget about him if he’s playing silly games.

"all the best" is something you say to someone you no longer wish to keep seeing- its a well used phrase in this context and I see it suggested multiple times on here as a kind/polite rejection. Eg "I dont think we're suited but I wish you all the best"

I have literally never, ever, sent a good friend or a partner a text that only says "all the best" on its own because it makes absolutely no sense- all the best for what? staying in and watching tv?- yeah, no lol. You'd send something like "have a good evening" or "have a great day" or "enjoy your night" etc.

You might say it if someone is going for a test or an exam or something but with no apparent reason or context for it, of course it looks like a brush off and its a bit silly to pretend otherwise.

No don't do it!!! Leave it or you'll seem desperate. *my view!

All the best for the future is a classic parting line-all the best is the shortened version

He's a twat, got cocky around his mates and then regretted it, so he lied
Good news Op
He's shown you who he is early on 🚩
Bin

This. You’ve only been on 2 dates and are already getting stupid drunk texts/videos from his mates. It’s very immature twatish behaviour for someone in their 30s.

Very Schitts Creek passive aggressive

Best Wishes

Warmest Regards

All the best...

He def FAFO.

Your text was ott and put you on the back foot, but you’re better off without him! He’s playing mind games.

Can’t believe the number of people saying they’d interpret the weird “all the best” text in a positive way. It’s something you put at the end of a work email - it’s so formal they saying it to a person you’re dating is basically rude - totally wrong, passive aggressive, and final.

Whoever said maybe the video was his mates wanting to “send you a nice greeting” - you sound like an alien from outer space with a thin grasp of English language, behaviour, and customs 😂 Who talks like that?!

“Hey chaps, I’ve been on two dates with this pleasant woman, shall we send her a nice greeting?”
”Oh yes, let’s makes a video. What shall we say?”
”How about Hello Sarah?”
”No, no. Let’s say All the best!”
“Right lads, huddle together. On the count of three…”

You barely know him. At this stage you're both learning about each other, including how you communicate. Unfortunately your reaction gives a hint to how you respond to miscommunication and therefore conflict. I wouldn't date someone who goes on the attack like that.

He dumped you, including getting his mates involved over a video, humiliates you then gaslights you and now you think you need to make it up with him for misunderstanding. Really?

He's a complete dickhead, why are you even giving him a 2nd thought. Good riddance.

god the people on here who thinks he deserves an apology must be absolutely desperate!

He sounds like an idiot. Move on

It sounds like a silly miscommunication not helped with alcohol being involved. If you really like him then I'd send him a final message stating what you interpreted his message as and telling him you liked him and it would be a shame to part ways when you are both still learning how the other communicates.
You say you don't want to look daft messaging him but honestly what's the worst that can happen, you state your case and he doesn't reply. Well at least you know you tried and you're pretty much in the same boat you're in now. But what is the best thing that can happen, you state your case and he replies and you laugh about it and continue getting to know each other.
So many situations in life would be resolved with better communication and stating your thoughts on something

Good communication is key. I would have taken that to be a goodbye/dumping too. How on earth did he mean it then if not for it's actual meaning?

He sounds like an absolute bellend.

Lucky escape

Sending someone a message saying just 'all the best' is just weird. And then involving a whole group to send you a video message when youve had only two dates is immature. Sounds like in the end you arent on the same wavelength.

Did he perhaps mean to send it to someone else?

Then when you responded he realised his mistake, thought it was funny, shared his mistake/the "humour" with his mates ...and then they doubled down on it/made a joke of it.

Facilitated by likely drunkenness.

So, who was he messaging?
Why, if he realised he sent it to the wrong person, would he not just say "sorry, I sent that to you by mistake"?
His finding it funny and talking about it to his mates .....let alone then making a video with his mates and sending you it ..suggest serious immaturity.

They strike he like the fucking In-betweeners.

(And they have the excuse of being teenagers).

Any guy sending his very new gf a video message like that with mates ...... Which is odd and very disrespectful; to me, is ok with not continuing to see that gf. Because most women would feel like they were having the piss taken out of them, and that he's doing so with his mates. He's not scared enough she'll walk and never see him again.

My husband says “all the best” instead of ‘Cheers’ when having a drink; could he have meant this?

He's being a wind up merchant

No one gets their mates to record a message saying that unless they want to mess with your head.

He was texting someone else and they ended it with him. He messaged you the original "all the best" by mistake.

He then tried to cover it up with the video, and got his friends in on it. He wanted to pass it off as a joke or something that "he does" rather than just being honest.

In my opinion this is clearly what happened. He is now embarrassed and sounds a bit immature.

What a odd ball....

Exactly this.

He sounds like an immature weirdo ... and to involve his mates too, yeah very impressive.

After many years of online dating, I've received "all the best " messages. It's absolutely when they're not interested in pursuing things, and it's a sign off. Thanks but no thanks.