Did I completely F up with the guy I’m seeing?

[RealAquaCat]

Hi!
So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ 🤔 I took this to mean that this was an immature way of saying he didn’t want to see me again? (this man is 32 years of age btw…)
i’d had a few drinks, and I ended up messaging him saying along the lines of ‘if you don’t want to speak to me anymore then you could just say that, this is the most childish and pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed’. The next day he messaged me saying ‘wait what? When I say all the best I don’t mean it like that, I’m sorry if that’s how it came across’. We’ve exchanged a couple of messages since, although the conversation between us has pretty much died a death.

My question is, would you have taken his messages the same way I did or AIBU? I do regret sending the message and wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the wine, I’m so gutted about this as he seemed great and I loved getting to know him 🙄

I would read "all the best" to be sending good wishes to someone, the equivalent of "have a good time," not as saying goodbye. When I read your OP I assumed he had wished you a good night out, you had wished him a good night out, then he had got his mates in on it to trump your good wishes. I would have taken it as slightly drunkenly funny, and meant well. I was confused by your interpretation and empathised with his confusion. But reading all these posts it seems I'm by far in the minority on that. So who knows. But whether one of you had your wires crossed, or whether he was being a prick as most people seem to think, it's probably not salvageable.

But why would anyone send a random 'all the best' message to someone they are dating when they are out drinking with friends? All the best with what exactly? Doesn't make sense

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/all-the-best

I'd have just taken it to mean he was sending good wishes. Which is indeed one of its meanings.

He said he didn't mean all the best like that, so did he explain what he actually DID mean? And what all his friends meant?

Still don't think you were in the wrong. I'd find it weird he had all his friends involved when you don't know them. They all seemingly knew what he meant even though you didn't.

I think it was meant the way you thought it was then he's regretted it the next morning. Maybe I'd be brought back back round if he tried hard to apologise but personally I'd be a bit on edge now because everyone knows all the near means good bye unless it's your birthday 🤔

And Urban Dictionary has the opposite interpretation: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=All%20the%20best

And why would you get your mates to do it? It’s really odd at best.

Too quick to jump down his throat. I would’ve just left him to explain the next day..

It makes total sense to me. He's in a bar, drinking/toasting with friends, he texts her "all the best", she texts back "all the best for you", so far so good, then all the friends sent her a "all the best" (clearly everyone is drinking and in jokey mood) and she then looses her shit. Lad is completely perplexed when he reads the message next day. I don't blame him.

@samanthablues Did she text that back to him? You’ve said this twice now and there is no evidence that happened - her original and unedited post didn’t say once that she texted back ‘all the best to you too’. You are literally making it up.

It actually does say it in the OP.

I disagree with that poster though. I have been confused and probably replied the same, but then to be sent his friends I'd have been even more confused. I'm sure the OP would have wait until the morning to ask for clarification had it nit been for the wine - I'm sure many of us have been there!

YANBU at all. I'd have thought the same thing. And regardless of what he meant, I'd be unimpressed by his friends joining in on the act. It would feel like a pisstake.

@RealAquaCat "....So I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks and we’ve had two great dates. At the weekend completely out of the blue while he was out with friends he sent me a message saying ‘all the best’, which was strange and I replied saying ‘all the best to you too’, I then received a video message of him and his friends saying ‘all the best’ ..."

If he's completely perplexed then maybe he shouldn't text random shite when out drinking, this is on him not OP. I still don't know what he meant by texting 'all the best' and nothing else, all the best for what?

Instead of texting him back "all the best for you" OP should have asked "all the best" for what"?

Yes, people text random shite when they go out drinking, it's a thing in this country.

well he didn’t reply to my message a couple of true ago 😂 think that’s the end haha. Don’t particularly want to make myself look stupid by asking him out 😩

Days ago*

I don't think you've really lost out, op

He seemed immature - onto the next x

No no do not reach back out you'll find out soon enough , if he's interested in you he'll make that move to pick up the conversation again or another date etc see it as a possible dodged bullet otherwise as for his age and these types of messages its like daft games. There's really no other way of meaning what he's said particularly to someone he doesn't really know so fpr him to allow the conversation to go dead may suggest he's not good at communicating and lacks care - red flags .

TBH texting is not the way to conduct a conversation - misinterpreting and misunderstanding is par for the course. If in doubt, just call up and find out what the message meant.

Sounds like an in joke you weren't privy to, how could you be?
Also drunken.
I'd bygones the mistake and just make another date if you like him.
This is still salvageable x

id have taken it as he was dumping me and his mates were laughing at it, which would be really shitty of him.
I wouldn’t have text him though I’d have just blocked him and moved on.

I don’t know anyone that outside of a formal message or birthday card would say “all the best”, it just isn’t used in normal conversation like that with the people I know.

His loss xxxx he will be back in contact eventually. Pillock

The whole point is that he was immature, ( not that you were under the influence); you flagged that straight off and it seems to be justified. Next...

Hes bullshitting. What did he mean if he didn't mean that? And why were his mates getting involved?

My mate used to always say "take care" to blokes she didn't want to speak to anymore and they knew what it meant.

I think I would have taken it that way too, but might have replied, 'eh?'.

Out of interest, what did he say the video meant?!