To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

You know you are right.
she is presumably still in infant school, year 2?
Of course she should be having toys and dressing up.

Yanbu

Urgh it's disgusting what some people do to their kids. Your daughter is fine

Sounds just like my 7 almost 8 year old. She’s asked for Gabby’s Doll’s house for Christmas.

She sounds completely normal. I wouldn't be giving my similar aged child makeup or skincare stuff for Christmas, she'd be gutted. Barbies dream house is a much better present to her.

She sounds exactly like my six year old, who loves her dream house, still dresses as a Disney princess regularly. Her friends all seem fairly similar too. I assume year 2, that is very young to be interested in skin care! The closest thing we have to that is glittery nail varnish!

I had a doll house until I was about 11/12. The need for Makeup/skincare didn’t enter my head until about 16/17. Your daughter is fine.

OP, I have a 7 year old DD (a school year older but a summer baby so she’s not long 7) and she sounds similar. My DD is bright, funny, confident and brilliant with her school work. She has lots of friends and hobbies but she also still loves dolls and toys. She also dresses up and enjoys dressing her dolls too, although it’s mostly LOL dolls and similar here rather than Barbie. I really think it’s no rush and I feel incredibly lucky she’s still so sweet and pleased with her toys in comparison with some of the girls in her class who have started wearing mascara and watching YouTube clips. Enjoy her!

I had a similar daughter. I think she got a barbie campervan for her tenth birthday. The only issue was that she ended up too embarrassed having friends round to our house as she didn't want them to see all of her barbies etc. Unfortunately now at 13 she's into all the skincare etc but she'll not complain if her little sister asks her to play barbies!

My DD didn't get into skincare till she was about 14. At 7 she was definitely still playing with dolls and dressing up and generally being a wee kid. YANBU.

Of course you are right, my DD is 28 now, she played with toys like barbie until maybe 10, so year 5/6. Even 18 years ago there was alot of pressure from other mums who were getting thier kids phones and consoles for Christmas and birthdays. Thankfully not so much on makeup or skin care.

I bet they're not asking about skincare for their 7yo boys..

Absolutely fine. My DD is 9 and has zero interest in skin care

My youngest is in year 4 and none of her friends or her are interested in skin care routines. Maybe the odd play with make up but still very much playing with imaginary things and arts and crafts and what not.

My 9 1/2 year old still plays all the time. Yesterday she spent hours having made a plane for her teddies and took them to a resort. She then planned a schedule of activities and had them all leave reviews at the end!! I think it's amazing and I'm dreading the day it ends 😔

7 year olds don’t need skin care. How ridiculous

If boys are allowed to play with marvel superhero figures and toy cars until adulthood, girls can play with Barbie's and whatever else they want to play. It's only the "my child is my friend" mums who indulge in this forced growing up thing and it has ever been thus. I'm old and was a ride my bike round the estate until I'm 13 kid and was bullied by the hair and makeup crowd.

Op yes your DD is totally developmentally normal.

What isn't is all these 7 year olds with smartphones or tablets and ticktok following other young girls, some even their own age, dressing like adults and having full skin care and makeup. It's sad really 😞, the sooner we ban social media for young children the better.

Same here and also getting a dream house for Xmas!

And edited to say all her friends are the same but all her friends are single children or the eldest. Wonder if my 7yo would want skincare if her hypothetical 12yo sister did.

Absolutely you’re in the right. My friends daughter is in year 8, and still has her Barbie dream house in her room. Keep her young as long as you can.

You are not being unfair. My daughter was the same as yours and loved her dolls and toys. Funnily enough the children whose parents insisted their children didn’t like toys were always the ones who loved playing with toys when they came around. I think some parents think it makes children sound more mature and seem to forget play is something children learn and develop through.

I'm shocked that 7 is considered too young for toys! My youngest is 14 now, but up until the Christmas after high school would have been very disappointed to receive skincare as a gift!

Sounds exactly right for her age. DD is 10 and still has lots of toys and enjoys the occasional play with dressing up dolls, they are starting to phase out though. Some of her friends are asking for high end brands of skin care which I think is ridiculous for a 10yr old, pretty much all of them have iPhones and Snapchat, so far we've held off and DD will get a phone before she starts secondary next year.

Let her just be a kid for as long as possible, no 7 old needs to be thinking about hair and makeup routines,

Sounds like my 7 years old, and like all of her friends to be honest. I would find it strange a 7 year old not wanting to dress up or play with toys