To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

Same age here and there was conversations about TVs for the bedroom….no way shape or form is my 7 year old getting a TV.

My almost 12yo still enjoys playing with building blocks and teddies - as well as Fortnite, more grown up books, and using hair products! They're not the most advanced child for their age but I'm in no hurry to push them towards adolescence. Let kids be kids.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

Strange question from someone who's worked with children for 20 years as a teacher/social worker etc.

I'm pretty sure you know the answer OP.

My 7 year old loves picture books, wants a Baby Annabel for Christmas and also wants a crop top and to get her nails done.

Skin care? They’re 7! Unless they have a skin condition they should not be putting anything topical on their skin other than very gentle moisturiser. My 9yo stepdaughter ‘used’ (without permission) one of my fruit acid Korean masks the other week and it burned her skin.

I have 2 DDs, one 9, the other nearly 7 and the youngest is very much into toys. Her room contains Bluey sets, Paw Patrol trucks, Duplo, Lego and disney princesses. She doesn't want to part with any of it yet. For Christmas she's asking for the Bluey plane and some Monster High dolls.
The 9yo has never been big in to toys but she's more likely to ask for art materials or stuff for her room, like a new bedding set or cosy blanket, not makeup or skincare. Skincare in this house is just eczema cream after a shower.

My wee girl is 8 in February and has asked for dolls, pram, clothes, accessories and a changing bag from Santa. I've happily obliged!

My 9.5 yo ds asked me to read him dear zoo last night. Half an hour earlier he’d been listening to the infinite monkey cage. I find the spectrum of enjoyment is broad at age 7-10 Let them like what they like!

My 9 year old likes skincare, and barbies! She wants a reborn doll and also some make up more expensive than mine!
You can like both!

Skin care at 7 is ludicrous. Barbie dream house at 7 is totally normal. It’s so sad these young girls are being so heavily influenced, it scares me. I say as a mum to girls 7, 5 & 3. My 7 year old has asked for a Barbie animal clinic for Xmas & a bike!

@Grammarnut people dress up to go clubbing, to the opera, even wearing a wedding dress is dress up really! So yeah, nothing wrong with that. Also the games older kids do with toys are more like enacting plays, or a soap with different characters. It's a good way of learning storytelling and characterisation.

You're absolutely right. Your daughter sounds like she's into age appropriate activities and toys.

Me and my friend used to play with Barbie's at about 11 ish. We knew we were getting a bit old for it, but we enjoyed it. In fact we used to act out dancing with them etc. It didn't last long after that.
I'm glad I got to enjoy childhood while it lasted that long. As it wasn't long before you're thrust into womanhood and getting periods etc. 7 is little still!!

My DD is 14, still has a dolls house and does actually still arrange the furniture and figures in there every now and then. She played with baby dolls until the end of primary school. Academically she's top set across the board, is into fashion and skincare now as a teen, has plenty of friends and first boyfriend but the dolls are still there and why not, she's not embarrassed, despite gentle mocking (good natured) by friends.

Make up at 9? World's going mad.

You are absolutely right. My dd who has just turned 12 still has some dolls (only thee our generation left) sat on her shelf along with a collection of tween skincare. This time last year(start of y6) you could easily have found her still playing with the Barbies... if only just plaiting their hair. 7 is way too young for ski care etc.

Wow they've barely started reception at 4 and a half. How sad that they'd already grown out of picture books. What on earth did you read to them instead?

I really hope you’re not being U. I have a 4 year old and the thought of her been essentially halfway through her childhood is heartbreaking!!**

My7 year old is into teddies, Gabby’s Doll house and unicorns. Yes she likes kids nail varnish and jewellery making kits but no way would I think about getting her skincare stuff. I want her to enjoy playing and being a child for as long as possible and not be in a hurry to grow up too quick, There is plenty enough time when you have to be a grown up and it’s not all roses 😂

YANBU.

All children are different. I know 11 year old twin girls. One of them likes more pre teen stuff, one still plays with dolls. Brought up together but allowed to be their own person. But the mother certainly wouldn’t be buying skin care products for even the more mature of the 2.

Childhood is short enough....at 7 my DD was like yours, still playing with her dolls house, barbiea, soft toys.... doing colouring and puzzles and Lego.

I don’t think you are wrong. My little girl is nearing 9 and loves Barbie’s, LOL, dressing up, singing and dancing. She does have interest in skin care because of chat from school and wanting to fit in. I was saying to my DH and mum it’s like she loves what she loves but a part of her wants to be into these things because her peers are. Her Barbie Dreamhouse is the best gift we ever got her it was the Christmas just before her 7th bday and I wish I had done it sooner it has brought her so much fun.

Skincare at 7???? Who are these people the Kardashian Family? Your daughter is developing perfectly normal. Get the doll house.

She sounds perfectly fine, my daughter is a similar age, still plays with toys, but has recently grown into painting, crocheting, making jewellery etc and I hope those hobbies of her last a long time.

My 7, almost 8 Yr old is sat next to me watching bluey. There is no way I'll be buying her skincare or make up for Christmas. She plays with dolls. She loves playing role play games and If she wanted a barbie dream house I'd be more than happy to get that for her. So yes I would say that your dd is exactly where she needs to be and far too young for skincare and make up!