To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

No you're not keeping her babyish but you know that. Have the faith in yourself that she's enjoying childhood with a supportive family doing all the things that she likes. Outside factors are irrelevant to you......what's acceptable and right in your family, will be different in another ..."You do you " in your family as you see fit....

My dd is now in secondary but she would have been playing with toys all the way through primary.

Yanbu, I bought my dd a Barbie dream house when she was 7 for Xmas. She’s 9 now and still plays with it. She has only just stopped playing dress up since she turned 9 and has this year asked for some clothes and make up as well as toys for Xmas. So I’ve bought her some eyeshadow. She has no interest whatsoever in skin care thank god. She was quite appalled when her friend came to sleepover with about 7 different bottles of skin care. She would still love Disney on ice even at 9 I’m sure because she loves Disney films

Interested to know when 'washing your face' became 'skincare'.
Be clean and healthy. At six years old, your skin is not going to BE any better!

Interested to know when 'washing your face' became 'skincare'.
Be clean and healthy. At six years old, your skin is not going to BE any better!

The skincare thing is crazy! You are absolutely right in that your dd is fine. People have been trying to get their kids too grown up for a while now. Remember Bratz dolls?

She sounds like a totally normal 7 year old. What on earth does a 7 year old need skin care for? It's just marketing nonsense! Let kids be kids.

My 7, nearly 8, year old loves all those things. She has recently been to a few Pamper Parties and enjoyed them but wants to do Build A Bear for hers. She just enjoys imaginary and small world play more. Honestly girls especially have got many years ahead of society pressuring them to look a certain way, buy the latest snake oil. Why hurry them towards the bullshit that is misogynistic consumerism?!

At 8 my DD went to the Lion King dressed as a lion. This involved crossing a city using multiple buses and trains! By 9 or 10 she wouldn't do it anymore. Perfectly normal at 7. Ignore whoever has been making you feel bad. Dd never played with dolls but was big into her teddies at that age. By 10 she had moved on completely from toys. However my friends 10 yr old got a baby doll from Santa last year. All OK and normal. My DD is 11 and I'd be horrified if she was talking about skin care.

Sounds like my 7yr old DD. I don’t think she even knows what ‘skincare’ is other than soap and moisturiser.

Errr. My 12 year old still plays with dolls

she also wears make up and nails. But she does play with dolls!

I mean who cares?

Who the hell buys skin care products for a 7/8/9 year old? Utterly bizarre.

Your DD is perfectly normal of course.

My DD is in her late 20s now but I don't remember this being an issue at that age. As far as I remember all her friends were still in to toys rather than make up then.

Disclaimer: I am 62 and the only make up I own is one lipstick, which I hardly ever use. I would prefer Lego to skin care products thank you very much.

It upsets me when friends tell me their under-10 girls wants things like skin care and make up. I still got toys for Xmas into my teens!
You’re a long time a grown-up, why rush childhood.

YANBU. I think a Barbie dolls house is great present for a seven year old girl. I really don't understand parents who seem in a rush to cut short their children's childhood. A skincare routine in primary school, other than soap and flannel, is madness.

My DD has just finished uni and asked for a Play Mobile Zoo for her 10th birthday. I have some great photos of her and her older cousins all playing with it!

Yes this is a good point - some times they are picking it up from big sisters, and that’s hard to avoid.

Very normal

As usually first person nails it.

Now if she was 9 she would be starting to get a bit old

I work in a primary school and I would say it's completely normal for a 7 year old to be dressing up and playing with toys.

My 10 year old wouldn't have a clue about skincare. Her friends wouldn't be interested either. The girls in her year group who are into make up and skincare are the ones already on social media.

I hate seeing little girls forced into being 'tweenagers' when they should still be enjoying their childhood with dolls and toys, not make up and skin care. I was still playing with dolls when I was 9 or 10.

I'd love a Barbie dream house and I'm in my 60s lol!

Leave her be. She will grow up quickly enough!

Completely normal. I have 4 daughters 11, 9 and 6 are the three oldest. 9 year old has asked for skincare, branded trainers for Christmas as well as some toys like OMG and Barbie type dolls. First time she hasn't just asked for dolls/toys so at 7 that was completely normal- last year my then 10 year old still wanted Barbie type toys too. My 9 year old still dresses up and loves drama type shows like panto, Disney on Ice etc 😁

Nothing wrong with a Barbie dream house.

I will add that my 11 year old only wants skincare and clothes however she has never owned a phone or had social media. She's simply copying what her friends are in to.

Of course it’s fine. I want mine to be children as long as possible.

When my 9 year old was 7 she was exactly the same, since she's turned 9 she's suddenly become obsessed with skincare and YouTube. When I get her box of Sylvanian families out though she will sit and play for ages with them. Spiky developmental profiles become even spikier as they approach puberty. Let her be little as you are, she'll suddenly change and it's really sad :(