To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

She is perfectly normal. The only girls I see that age asking for skincare and make up are those whose parents wanted a little bestie rather than to be a parent and have given there kids phones at a really young age with and encouraged them onto tik tok etc. It's ridiculous and quite inappropriate that 7 year olds are being encouraged to behave like 17 year olds. It also can't be good for them developmentally long term either.

Skincare for 7 year olds!!!!

Unbelievably stupid. Why won’t these parents just let their DC be children? At 7 my DSs had Star Wars light sabres, Lego, power rangers,transformers. Basically a ton of plastic toys - which were well played with.

You’re doing right by her by giving her a childhood. She should have toys and dress up at her age. All of these young girls being forced into skincare and make up will resent it one day as they’ll feel they missed out on playing and just being a child. Childhood is so short, they can mess around with beauty crap for the rest of their life if they chose. Keep doing what you’re doing and fill her head with lovely memories.

OP your daughter is delightful as she is.

My stepson is in y 9. Up until maybe y 8 he heavily liked toys considered young for his age, still a little bit now but less so. Very emotionally mature, considerate, and well spoken. Absolutely NO concerns for him, my opinion is kids are only kids for a short period of their lives, let them be kids!

In y9 I was searching for love that I didn’t get as a child, doing things I wasn’t mature enough for eg having sex, I know now which is the healthiest way! My stepson will grow up into a happy adult and do adult things when he is ready , I’m sure of it.

I know your daughter is a different age but my point is your child is doing child appropriate things and that’s as it should be. Don’t let her be rushed by others / society.

when my daughter was being pushed into growing up to fast (by her friends etc) I said to her that you are only a little girl for a few years and you are going to be an adult for a very long time. You can act like a grown up now, but you can't do all the kid things when you are an adult. So please really make the most of, and really enjoy, all the kid things now, as you only get to do them for a few years. She is 19, perfectly adulting, but she enjoyed being a kid and stopped trying to do all the adult things that she was reaching for, and even now enjoys being "kid-ish" when she is home with us.

Other people letting their kids not be kids is the real issue. Such a shame these days as so many children are bought up around social media / influencers etc when they should be shielded and allowed to be children for as long as possible.

Still picture books, just slightly more complex ones.

And some chapter books too - the simpler ones.

Things like You Choose or Paddington.

Not war and peace but a bit more than the Gruffalo.

yanbu. I'm well over 40 and would still probably rather play pretend with toys, Barbies, etc than talk for more than a couple of minutes about skincare products.

Glittery makeup would've been fun as a kid, but skincare? What a boring childhood! Seven is far too young to let go of toys!

What a sad, sad world we are living in. No child should be thinking about skincare. I know a 9 year old who has asked for skin care for Christmas and I thought that was sad, but 7. Really. What are we doing to our children?
please keep your daughter the way she is for as long as possible.

My 8 year old still plays daily with toys and if she asked for skin care she would be told absolutely not!

Kids are growing up far too fast these days and in my opinion parents need to stop it. She watches YouTube and tiktock etc thankfully she hasn’t jumped onto that bandwagon and I wouldn’t allow it anyway. She sometimes helps me put on my makeup and I’ve bought her kids play make up but that’s it so far. they grow up so quickly anyway and I keep warning her that growing up is a trap 😆

You are right to let her develop at her own pace...which is delightfully normal. x

The children using the skincare and make-up aren't showing maturity or being advanced, they are showing that they have been exposed to advertising which they are not mature enough to understand and don't have the critical thinking skills to withstand. It's bad parenting, nothing to do with their development.

Mine are in their 40s and disagree over who owned which Barbie which if course are still cluttering up my loft!

The skincare thing is from TikTok. It baffles me that so many parents seem fine with their young kids being on such a harmful platform.

Your DD sounds entirely normal, OP. My nine year old has asked for another doll for Christmas.

As I was reading you post,
I expected you’ll say your daughter is 12.

7 is still so little.

She’s 7! That’s so tiny still really! Of course it’s normal to still want proper toys - I would have thought until at least 10 (and I know some children older as well but I would have thought it wouldn’t even make anyone bat an eyelid until 9/10)
Even when they start to show an interest in makeup/skincare you’ll often find (from my experience anyway) that there is still an overlap of wanting both that and toys still for a while.

My 7 year old boy loves such a mix, he still loves dress up costumes (Star Wars/super hero etc) and action figures, adores Lego, as well as fossil dig kits, marble runs etc. He also loves playing with playdoh still with his little brother!

I had a semi agreed playdate this weekend (time and date agreed but what we would do not) with one of DS' friends and her mum, the other mum often offers to host so I said I could this time, that was fine, I found out today I can get 4 heavily discounted tickets to the cinema this weekend, so just said to the other mum I can get tickets through work my treat (other parent is a single mum going through an awful divorce and has hosted so much and is very generous) if the weather is awful shall we take them to see the new Paddington film. Other mum said oh cinema is a lovely idea but isn't paddington too babyish? They're five. It wasn't about the concept of the cinema, or me getting the tickets, it was the film being too young. I didn't know what to say

Don't be daft!

This makes me so sad. Me and my DH were just having this conversation the other day. Our DD is only 1, so we still have a long time before this becomes an issue, but I do worry about her growing up, and whether this trend of children, girls in particular, getting into more ‘adult’ things like make up and skin care at a very early age will continue.

I follow a local baker on social media, who has made a number of personalised cakes for me over the years, and yesterday she posted a picture of a cake she had made for a 10 year olds birthday. The cake was Sephora themed, with a topper containing make up brushes, skin creams, and things like elf lipstick. Made for a 10 year olds birthday. Beautiful cake, but the picture made me feel quite sad. No 10 year old needs Sephora make up and skin care, let alone be so into it that their birthday cake has been designed around it!

Sounds unusual for all the 7 yr olds to be into older things. Maybe one or two with older siblings? I help with brownies sometimes (age 7-9) and they are are still very much little girls. Maybe try brownies to find some similar friends. The big end of term trip (very popular it’s sold out) is to Disney on ice.

My DD is 21 and is the same 😂

7 is still very young. In some countries she would just be starting school. I wonder if the starting school so early in the uk adultifies children but then I've got no idea what kids are into in other countries.

My own dd is 8 and still very much loves playing with dolls, teddies and make believe. She is in year 4 (born end of august) and I do worry that soon her classmates will think she's babyish. One of them told me they don't play with lego anymore because they are too old for it...

Skin care routines for 7 year olds? Just 2 is being influenced by the Influencers.

Children are growing up much quicker now and it worries me having two daughters. My DD1 is almost 4 and asking for all Barbie stuff for Christmas. I feel that's something they usually ask for when they're older but she has an older cousin and plays with them in her house. My DD1 seems quite impressionable, she asks to wear certain things to pre school as other girls there are wearing them, I'm trying to address this. I would not be buying my 7 year old skin care, clothing which I feel is aimed at teenagers etc and they certainly won't be having a phone or a tablet for the purpose of social media (I've literally seen 8 year olds at a party performing for their Snapchat/tiktok audience! - scary!)

Absolutely fine.

My daughter is 8 and wants skincare stuff for Christmas - alongside a new doll!