To think my daughter is absolutely developmentally appropriate, and it's other children being encouraged to grow up quickly?

[WhyCantTheyJustBeKids]

I've name-changed for this.

I'll start this thread by qualifying my experience with children. I've worked with children for 20 years. Teaching, social work, and various roles between the two. So I've worked with lots of children, and I'm not a stranger to the idea they're all different. However...

My daughter is 7 this month. She has always been developmentally advanced, meeting all milestones quite early. I say this confidently as my older child did not. She's socially quite sophisticated with a lot of emotional intelligence. Academically bright, too.

She plays with dolls, a toy kitchen, teddies, reads a range of books from chapter books to Julia Donaldson. What she'd really love for her birthday is a Barbie dreamhouse. I've been seeing increasing numbers of posts, mainly on FB, from people with similar aged children, asking what the best skincare is for their child, or listing off the beauty or fashion type items they're getting for Christmas.

We just saw Disney on Ice for her birthday treat - we do this every year, and she dresses up. I had a couple of comments from people I know, amounting to her being a bit old to still dress up. Elsewhere, I'd commented that she wants a Barbie house for her birthday, and someone suggested it was unusual. I'm paraphrasing. But in short, I'm being told she's babyish really.

In my eyes, she's totally developmentally appropriate. I don't comment on what others are doing with their children, even though I do think 7/8/9 is a bit young for things like skincare. So I'm not sure why comments happen the other way. She's still little, acts little, and enjoys the things you expect a little girl to enjoy. That means that while she's starting to watch some grown up stuff, she also still enjoys watching Bluey.

So am I being unreasonable not to be encouraging my daughter to behave older? Am I keeping her "babyish?"

Mine is much older than 7 but the little girls I know are similar to yours, dress up and toys etc. Skin care isn't really appearing until around year 5 and 6 I don't think

They have their whole life to be a grown up. They can be teenagers at 13 not 8

Your DD sound like my almost 7 year old DD. DD loves to dress up as Cinderella/Ariel/Belle, etc. I was a little sad when she came back from the Y1/2 disco and reported that not many children were dressed up (as in playing dressing up as they wore ‘normal’ clothes and some of the girls were wearing tops where you can see their bellies.

im struggling to get clothes for my DD as most younger children’s ranges seem to stop at 6-7 and she now needs 7-8. The older girls ranges seem to old for DD as she still wants stuff from the younger range but it doesn’t fit her.

My DD is six and a half and is very much like your DD. We do hair masks and sometimes nail painting together but I've told her she doesn't need skincare. I know someone with a seven year old who buys her Drunk Elephant face cream and gets her manicures - why??? I didn't even have a skincare routine until I was 30 although I do wish I started wearing daily SPF sooner.

I'm off to buy two dolls tomorrow for 7 year olds. Glinda and the witch. The movie is out this month and they want the dolls. They'll possibly wear fancy dress to the cinema too 🤭

I thought you were going to say she was 10! (And I'd still have said YANBU). 7 is still so little.

Your daughter sounds normal and I'm shocked people would say otherwise. Does she look older than 7? Or is she quite mature in other ways. Maybe people forget...7 is prime dressing up/Barbie/imaginary play age. People who think skin care and make up is appropriate need to have a look at themselves. What is it all about?!!

Lots of young girls have mummies that want “mini-me”s.

They become “the handbag girls” at high-school who only see value in appearance and cluster together giving evils to all the regular girls.

Just to add I have worked in the beauty industry and it’s absolutely shocking what’s happened in terms of young children becoming involved.
Back in the day, little girls might smear on a bit of her mum’s make up and trot about in her heels.
Now what is happening is scary.
Yes, teens are involved and they can be quite menacing at beauty counters.
Young skin does not need layer upon layer of skincare!
And as for 7 year olds using it? I saw a reel yesterday and it was a girl of this age doing her nighttime routine with an array of products.

1. it is really damaging to a child’s skin
2. it is hugely expensive
3. it means little girls are looking in mirrors far too long trying to improve their already perfect skin! I know dermatologists are horrified by these trends and while it’s not applicable here girls of 13/14 wanting Botox to prevent wrinkles…. Let your daughter enjoy this precious time. It doesn’t last long. And when she is much older the best thing you can teach her about skincare is all she needs is a good cleanser, a decent moisturiser and an SPF!

I was given some second hand clothes in sizes 7-8 for my DD to grow into. They were immaculate but just too grown up imo - crop tops and tight leggings, daisy duke shorts etc. I ended up giving them to charity.

Poor child, she enjoys certain activities and toys, why can't people leave her be!

My 10yo still plays with sylvanians, dollies, Playmobil etc. We restrict screentime and don't let her watch things with adverts. I love she has a younger sibling that keeps her a bit younger than some of her peers.

Of course it's normal. I played with barbies and little plastic horses and riders up until I left primary school. Skincare for seven year olds seems ridiculous! Again, I was around 10 when I got into very basic skincare and makeup. I guess times change.
The only think about the Barbie house is she might decide she's not into it anymore in a year, which might means it's better to get a second hand one. I remember having a Barbie Ferrari at 10 and being chuffed!
Nobody should be telling you she's too old for dress up and toys. She's seven, not 13! Even if she still likes it at 13 that's up to her. Lots of adults collect barbie.

I'm coming across the same sort of attitude.

My eldest is 8. She wants a house for her Sylvanian families for Christmas.

We went to soft play at half term, then afterwards she told me when she told one of her classmates that they said she was surely too old for that sort of thing.... WHY if it's fun? Nobody questions boys wanting to run around and climb and throw themselves off things! Some of the mum's say their daughter's just want to play "salon" or play on their phones. ......

7 is still very young, and sounds like the ideal age for a Barbie Dream House!

Too old to dress up at 7? Too old for a Barbie house, or stories by Julia Donaldson? How sad. You know your DD is entirely age-appropriate. I hate that my step-DGD is given skincare stuff, nail polish etc at 10, rather than more interesting things (say little and give books, painting equipment etc myself). So very sad for girls to be pushed into the 'beauty' thing so young. You stick to your guns - you are entirely right.

I have an 8yo. Last year she asked for a doll that wees etc for Christmas. She is starting to outgrow some toys but still does imaginative play with teddies with her younger brother. She wears sequins and jewellery she has made herself. She has just bought a purple lip balm but that's the extent of make up or skin care (other than basic moisturiser when she has dry skin).

Lots of adults dress up, too. It's called LARPing, historical re-enactment, Comi-con etc.

Skincare beyond the usual washing of a face is a teenage introduction to control acne and other skin conditions. It is not a gift choice for a 7 year old in my view. DDs played until there were 11 ish occasionally 12.

The only bit I find slightly surprising is the Julia Donaldson bit - my two loved her books but had outgrown them well before 7. I think I gave them away when the youngest was about 4 and a half.

Absolutely normal. My nearly 7 year old is obsessed with soft toys, unicorns, dinosaurs and plays and draws often. She loves jumping in puddles and beachcombing with me. She has asked what I am doing and why when I have put on makeup for a special event and I have answered that I put foundation on for such occasions because I have red patches on my skin that I want to cover up. I let her have a smudge of blusher to be like mummy and that makes her happy but if I wasn't in the act of putting makeup on she wouldn't care less and she doesn't worry about how she looks.

Bloody hell. If seven is too old for a Barbie dream house then who are they aimed at?!

She sounds completely developmentally appropriate. Imaginative play is so important for children of that age.

Sometimes I wonder if all the ‘skincare’ kids who are aged 7 - 12 are really into skincare itself, or if they’ve just been deprived of the opportunity to mix up witchy potions in the bathroom sink using ingredients pilfered from their mothers’ dressing tables…

Childhood is so ephemeral, it's so fleeting and actually so precious as many children in other nations work from a young age, as did many children of earlier eras here. It's just so special and they have so long to be grown up, she's enjoying totally appropriate things and thank goodness.

My daughter is seven too. She loves playing with her babies and dolls. YANBU. I have just got her a Barbie wardrobe.

I am sure your children have moved swiftly on to war and peace.