Am i the one who should appologise .....

[Atticus334]

Warning this is really long ....

I haven't spoken to the my mum in over a week and its becoming apparent that neither of us are backing down and i just want to know if im in the wrong

Its a facebook related one , i know it sounds petty but it is just indicative of her behaviour in general.
i am pregnant and announced it on facebook - everyone in my whole family and friends etc commented lovely messages and she point blank ignored it

When questioned by my sister she told my sister she hadnt seen it - however she dosnt get off facebook and a large number of our mutual friends had commented so it wouldve popped up a lot i would imagine and most daming of all both my husband and i had shared the post to our story too - she had viewed both stories .
I gave her 24 hours to acknowledge it and it really upset me that my friend i havent seen in ten years can write something nice and my own mum cant so i rang her and asked her and she told me i didnt even tag her in it or tell her i was going post it thats why.
i didnt even tell my husband i was going to post it that day i just did it as we had the photo prepared already and i dont understand why i would need to tag her in my pregnancy announcement , ive never seen anyone tag the nan before ?

its annoyed me even more thats shes lying to try and make herself look in the right as she opnely told me why shed ignored it but to everyone shes pretending shes the victim and ive had a go at her and it was just a mistake when it clearly isnt.

Just a bit of context
My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing and will be funny with you for a while then sort of comes round unless youve really wound her up and she will happily never speak to you again which she has done to several family and friends over the years

Most recently she was funny with me for over a week because i didn't send her an invitation to her grandsons party. I told her the date and time and just assumed she would be there just like she has been for every other party etc - i wasn't aware I had to send a 60 year old woman a paper football invitation ??

She got funny with me because i had my husbands nan and grampy over our house for tea one night and didnt invite her - my husband invited them over to get out their house for an hour as theyd had a hard time recently , it wasnt a slight at her but thats how she takes everything

And because my brother told her he didn't think she needed to move out of her perfectly lovely house just because people park outside her house - its a public street and she doesn't have a driveway so no real reason to stop people parking there she just doesnt like people to park there . But because she didnt like my brother telling her he wouldn't give her money to move as he didnt think she needed to she got annoyed at all us siblings and refused to read my sons school report that i had sent her that morning.

These are all things that have happened in the last few months to name a few
and i usually just let it go and just put up with it but honestly ive put up with these little things my whole life and i dont want to anymore

I dont understand why because shes my mother she feels she doesnt have to apologise for anything ever and its left to me to make 'amends'
i keep getting told but shes your mum - i just dont see why that means i have to let her upset me and i just have to let it go . I feel like i walk on eggshells constantly...

@Atticus334 I think people are being a bit harsh. You've used this one thing as an example but there have been countless other things. This is something that if it was the other way about (like her birthday) she would be mad at you for so basically uses these petty things to 'punish' you.

People might think all the examples are ridiculous, but you're the one having to deal with these continuous passive aggressive actions . Very childish for her to not read your sons report when she knows he will expect her to.

But, honestly? She'll never change. You have to either accept it or distance yourself.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

This could become the motto of MN in many instances! I wonder how many family disagreements are social network based?

Why does she need to comment on Facebook when she already knows?

I think you're bring unreasonable tbh and announcing a pregnancy on Facebook coupled with your need for likes and comments seems quite attention seeking.

Considering you sound like you're 12, it's unsurprising that she's not over the moon about your pregnancy.

This is all so pathetic. You're old enough to be creating life, get off Facebook and stop counting likes.

It’s all rather silly, isn’t it?

I don’t know anyone under 70 that still posts on FB. Perhaps it’s time for you to do the same, OP? You’d have had none of this childish drama then.

Who cares about Facebook? It sounds like you are both very similar and that's possibly why you have these clashes. She had known about the pregnancy. Too much drama. Perhaps time to revaluate and reflect on both your behaviour towards each other. Enjoy your pregnancy

Your mum does sound like she could cause a row in an empty room OP. Falling out with your brother because he won't give her money to move. Not attending her grandchild's party because she didn't get a paper invitation. So I'm thinking this tagging is just the latest petty thing she's decided to take offence at and 'punish' you by not liking posts she usually would? If so, then no, don't apologise. Because you'll just be rewarding her bad behaviour of kicking up fuss and falling out with people for the drama of it. Ignore her.

You both sound pathetic. Honestly.

FGS, the apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it.

And this is why I don't do Facebook
I cannot be bothered with the unwritten rules , fake happiness , pathetic jealousy and absolute bollocks it is
Congratulations OP 😃

“My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing” says @Atticus334 you are annoyed she didn’t fwrite something gushing on FB despite presumably telling you F2F. Why when you are close and obviously see and speak to one another did she need to write it on FB? All the other things if you’ve got issues just reduce contact and tell her why you’re annoyed. It’s on both to make amends. I’m getting the vibe that you’re both drama lamas

Don't be FB friends with your mum. I'm not and I'm not FB friends with my kids either. I don't want to be. Aside from that I don't understand why she would need to comment if she knew already.

I’m imagining the next few years.

‘we fell out because: I didn’t call her first when I went into labour/the baby was born, we disagreed on the name, she visits too much/not enough, we disagree on weaning…’ ad nauseam.

oh sweet holy devine is this what the world has come too ? falling out over not commenting on Facebook. and you are bringing a child into this world? seriously there will be bigger fish to fry soon and stuff in real life. both of you need a good kick up the whole.

Hi @Atticus334 I have a DM like this so I totally get it. People are getting hung up on the social media element but that’s a red herring. It’s about constantly having to appease the drama llama, the hypocrisy, the double standards yada yada. Solidarity OP x

So you announced to the world something she already knew. She didn't comment because either she didn't see it or because she'd already congratulated you. Why does she need to say it twice?
What a load of nonsense.

If it was just the FB incident, I'd say you were perhaps BU. A little. Years ago somebody PMd me on a forum to ask why I hadn't congratulated another forum member of their pregnancy. I had already congratulated her by text and on her Facebook post, why did I also need to specifically congratulate her again during my working day for forum posterity? I was quite surprised anyone was monitoring who had posted on somebody else's pregnancy announcement to be fair, but apparently I was the dick.

However, all the other stuff indicates that your mum generally turns into a petulant child whenever she feels slighted. My nan was the same. Eventually pretty much everyone stopped talking to her. Even we (her immediate family) started to find it a chore. Everything wa reduced to pettiness. Your mum is in for a lonely old age if she continues to tread that path.

I would let the FB thing go as she already knew and there was no real reason to congratulate you.
BUT the other stuff sounds like she is very hard work for you. It is very hard when you have to walk on eggshells with your mother - in case she sulks. The Facebook thing is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, isn’t it? You sound like you’ve had a lifetime of this and I sympathise.
I would focus on your exciting news and not let this upset you further.

No, that's just how Facebook stories work. They disappear after 24 hours.

I think a lot of people here are not reading between the lines. Mother sounds like a narcissist- it isn’t the Facebook post….

Just a bit of context
My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing and will be funny with you for a while

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree then…

That was uncalled for.

Tbf It does sound like she's a petty person but it's also petty to fall out over a Facebook post. Try hard not to turn into your mother or let her bring out the worst in you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Lush when a new baby comes into the family.

Christ almighty. Facebook is not real life. Both of you need to catch a grip and stop living your lives on social media