Am i the one who should appologise .....

[Atticus334]

Warning this is really long ....

I haven't spoken to the my mum in over a week and its becoming apparent that neither of us are backing down and i just want to know if im in the wrong

Its a facebook related one , i know it sounds petty but it is just indicative of her behaviour in general.
i am pregnant and announced it on facebook - everyone in my whole family and friends etc commented lovely messages and she point blank ignored it

When questioned by my sister she told my sister she hadnt seen it - however she dosnt get off facebook and a large number of our mutual friends had commented so it wouldve popped up a lot i would imagine and most daming of all both my husband and i had shared the post to our story too - she had viewed both stories .
I gave her 24 hours to acknowledge it and it really upset me that my friend i havent seen in ten years can write something nice and my own mum cant so i rang her and asked her and she told me i didnt even tag her in it or tell her i was going post it thats why.
i didnt even tell my husband i was going to post it that day i just did it as we had the photo prepared already and i dont understand why i would need to tag her in my pregnancy announcement , ive never seen anyone tag the nan before ?

its annoyed me even more thats shes lying to try and make herself look in the right as she opnely told me why shed ignored it but to everyone shes pretending shes the victim and ive had a go at her and it was just a mistake when it clearly isnt.

Just a bit of context
My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing and will be funny with you for a while then sort of comes round unless youve really wound her up and she will happily never speak to you again which she has done to several family and friends over the years

Most recently she was funny with me for over a week because i didn't send her an invitation to her grandsons party. I told her the date and time and just assumed she would be there just like she has been for every other party etc - i wasn't aware I had to send a 60 year old woman a paper football invitation ??

She got funny with me because i had my husbands nan and grampy over our house for tea one night and didnt invite her - my husband invited them over to get out their house for an hour as theyd had a hard time recently , it wasnt a slight at her but thats how she takes everything

And because my brother told her he didn't think she needed to move out of her perfectly lovely house just because people park outside her house - its a public street and she doesn't have a driveway so no real reason to stop people parking there she just doesnt like people to park there . But because she didnt like my brother telling her he wouldn't give her money to move as he didnt think she needed to she got annoyed at all us siblings and refused to read my sons school report that i had sent her that morning.

These are all things that have happened in the last few months to name a few
and i usually just let it go and just put up with it but honestly ive put up with these little things my whole life and i dont want to anymore

I dont understand why because shes my mother she feels she doesnt have to apologise for anything ever and its left to me to make 'amends'
i keep getting told but shes your mum - i just dont see why that means i have to let her upset me and i just have to let it go . I feel like i walk on eggshells constantly...

"People see their husbands and children etc on their birthdays and say happy birthday in person but still post birthday posts and photos of them on facebook...."

No, no they don't. Not everyone lives and dies by social media or posts every time someone farts. It's pretty sad really.

My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing

The apple didn't fall far from the tree then, did it?

Why would anyone be expected to write "congratulations!" on fb about something they’ve known about for ages and already spoken to the person about irl? Your advice would just cause an unnecessary rift.

YABVU

Why do people have to post comments on Facebook.

This is childish and nothing but drama
you told you my before Facebook as you should that’s that .

Talk about attention seeking from
you both

Do you think you're actually grown up enough to bring up a child?
What a lot of drama about sod all!

This is why I only use Facebook for the marketplace. Wishing someone happy birthday on Facebook when you're in the same room or seeing them that day is ridiculous. And falling out over someone who didn't click a thumbs up is beyond silly.

“My mother is just generally a really petty person and will get annoyed over the smallest thing”

The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.

Your mum is childish, petty and vindictive. You've said her unreasonable behaviours have you walking on eggshells, and I can believe it.

However, now it sounds like you're taking a leaf out of your her book by hyper focusing on her publically validating you. Doesn't this sound exactly like something your mum would do?

Don't let her turn you into a monster.

Is this for real? You're having a baby. Far bigger issues may come your way. Make up with your Mum and for goodness sake, either come off Facebook or reduce your dependency on it for validation.
Good luck with the pregnancy.

Jesus Christ, both of you need to get lives. Someone old enough to reproduce being this preoccupied with social media is absurd.

In the context of your relationship I agree that she is being petty, but going forward I would just ignore it. You've done nothing wrong so you don't have anything worry about

Are you 12?

Why do you need her to comment or like something on social media? It's just for the benefit of others isn't it.

Would you stand in the street. Declare your pregnancy. Then get offended your mum didn't gush over it in public? It's ridiculous.

Grow up! She already knew! 🤦‍♀️

Surely you didn't let your mum find out via a Facebook post about her grandchild?

Surely surely not?

This. Petty is as petty does.

What floors me is that the OP has posted here thinking that clearly she is right and her mum is in the wrong.

Also, why are you so dependant on having others see your mums congratulations post? Your mum doesn’t need to communicate with you through Facebook.

For the sake of your child I would learn to let small things go, put things in proportion, not be so dependant on social media for happiness, not look for petty things to be angry with your mum about and focus on your pregnancy.

Ignore your other posts weren't loading.

As you were

No she isn't.

You both need to stop living on Facebook. You both sound childish.

Yeah she is petty. Don’t turn out like her.

Unless you really want this on repeat forever just ignore. Doesn't sound as if you'll miss her much

Op is no better.

From reading PP, OP hasn’t got a problem that her mum didn’t comment but because her mum is pissed off that she wasn’t tagged in the post. So because she wasn’t tagged she is having a strop and not commenting. Which is obviously petty. So I don’t think OP is as bad as everyone seems to think!

This isn't really about responding on Facebook.

You have a bigger problem. Your mum wants to call the shots and tell you how to behave and do as she says. Then if you refuse, she 'punishes' you. It's all about control. Hers alone.

This is a classic narcissist mother.

Have you seen the 'we took you to stately homes thread' on the relationships board? You may find this a useful read.

I disagree. OP isn’t going out of her way to be spiteful, inconsistent and difficult. Regardless of how you personally use Facebook, it’s clear that there are normal expectations and rules of operation in OP’s family and her mother is deliberately not following them because she has the huff. I am not a fan of social media myself and don’t use it but OP being sad at her mother’s deliberate snub doesn’t make her just as bad as the mother doing the deliberate snubbing.

😂