AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

Didnt even occur to me to concern myself with what what my MIL would be wearing to my wedding. She bought something she liked and she wore it, the end.

I can't get on board with all the fetishisation of weddings these days but I always thought it was considered bad taste to wear black to a wedding? Am I out of date or is your mother in law a bit of a chav?

Sounds a bit like a flamenco dress to me, which fits the Spanish theme

Why are people saying black at a wedding is rude , normally the groom and grooms men wear black lol . My mum gave me away and she wore the same dress as the bridesmaids in black lol.

Could you suggest she wears that to the evening do and has something in lighter colours for the day, so she doesn't look odd in the photos? If she is fashionable she probably understands colour and I think if you explained about looking forward to having these vibrant photos on your wall she would understand, as that's not a criticism of her dress choice, it's just a fact, it would look out of place on those photos.

Holy crap! Someone needs to tell her that you don’t match the brides dress shape! And why insistant on wearing black of other people are wearing colour? I’d phrase it as you want her to match the bridesmaids and look like part of the bridal party. Unless she only wears black for the last 19years head to toe then it’s just weird.

Yes, getting married is the most important bit but brides still make efforts to look their best, couples spending thousands on wedding decor. Nothing wrong to wanting to feel special on your wedding day.

There are more choices today than the one you posted and the ones selected by MIL.

You don't reach the age of 65 and think wearing a black copy of the bride's dress is appropriate to wear to her wedding, particularly as the MIL.

There is something going on with her, regardless of how lovely she normally is.

Could you say that the second long black dress would be ok for the evening do, ie after photos. But it would be better to have a day outfit that harmonises with the bridal theme for the wedding.

Wow thanks. Amazing that the comment above is 'fair enough' and yet you think I'm patronising. Actually I wasn't being patronising at all. OP said she is chilled about every other aspect of the wedding - that being the case I wouldn't stress over what MIL may or may not decide to wear. That's all

Could you focus on her wellbeing saying you’re concerned she might get too hot dressed in black? X

You've given your opinion. Just let her get on with it, she's going to look odd and probably not feel too on the day great either.

I hope you have air conditioning at the venue - I had heat stroke in August in Spain last year. Temperature reached 45 degrees. A dress long enough to have a train will be unbearably hot,

I’m generally fine with people wearing black to weddings unless it’s one of the mothers when I just think it’s making a point.

The second dress is a vast improvement on the first but I sort of suspect it’s also the wrong season to be buying a dress for a summer wedding- her dress is a great autumn winter dress but come spring she may well be tempted by something else!