AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

I've been invited to loads of weddings where they said what colours you weren't allowed to wear on the invitation. Even when it was just evening dos on a February week night.

Sorry but that's hilarious that she thinks that's an appropriate dress!!! Is she worried about sweat patches?!?

I think you can get away with black to a wedding if you can liven it up with other bright colours /accessories. Only as a guest though, not as mother of the groom because as a previous posted suggested it will look like she's mourning her son getting married.

The train is a whole other level of inappropriate lol. Tell her to change it, if not tell the photographer to do plenty without her because she's going to look like the ghost from the woman in black, lurking in the back of all your pictures 😂

This.

It’s an invitation, though, not a law. A poster had a recent thread on a wedding with a dress code where she didn’t have spare cash to buy a new outfit, clearly worried a lot about it, but when she showed up at the wedding (can’t remember if she tried to obey the ‘code’) loads of other guests weren’t dressed according to the dress code, either.

If she wants to look like the Bride of Dracula, let her…

She asked. You told her. You haven’t done anything wrong.

I expect she knows it’s a bit much and was looking for reassurance/permission.

Reminds me of my friend’s SIL who asked her if she’d mind her wearing white to friend’s wedding. Friend said well yes to be honest she did mind. SIL wore it anyway.

A train? Can you link, op, as any non wedding dress with a train sounds extremely unusual, if not frankly unbelievable?

I really want to see the dress as well!

My partner has just suggested you have somebody Photoshop the dress to be a different colour in all the photographs so she doesn't stand out as much, which might be quite passive aggressive but I quite like the idea!

She will look completely ridiculous in the photos so yes, definitely try to steer her away. PP’s suggestion of ‘oh, won’t you be awfully hot in that?’ is a good one.

Personally I dislike black at weddings but I know it’s become acceptable and I’m behind the times. Definitely won’t look good on the mother of the groom though, and a long black dress with a train is going to scream either ‘fancy dress party’ or ‘I heartily disapprove of this marriage’.

Is she taking the piss? Does she hate you?

I can't believe people are saying they'd be OK with their MIL wearing a pure black dress with a train at their wedding. Talk about a poor metaphor and some serious passive-aggression from her!
I mean, I'd be tempted to let her because she'll look like a right plank. Just make sure to get a few tasteful photos when she's not in the line of sight and ask photographer to photoshop it peach or something.

OMG OP, if your MIL wears black to your wedding she will stand out like a sore thumb, and you can bann her from your photos because she will look hideous.

She'd be dressed for a funeral and thats so rude and disrespectful to you and your fiance.

Do you not believe OP that these dresses exist?

A quick google shows there are plenty.

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3 - very similar shape to my own wedding dress actually.

Is she in mourning about you marrying her DS?

OP I think you should get your DP to speak to her, she'll probably listen to him.

Considering most of the men will be wearing black, slate, grey, or navy blue suits, a woman in a black dress isn’t likely to look like some freakish outstander.

Wearing black is not rude imo

She sounds like she's attention seeking and she'll make a fool of herself if she shows up in that. YANBU!

While I don't agree in general with dictating what people wear to weddings and trying to get all the guests in similar colours is a bit bridezilla BUT black with a train is ridiculous and you were right to give her your honest opinion

I’ve worn black to virtually every wedding I’ve attended, and never been the only one. At a couple of European weddings, I’d say as many women were in black as weren’t.

I think this is hilarious and wouldn’t give a shit what she wore. Whatever makes her happy.

With a train 🤣🤣🤣. She’s definitely not joking?!

Forget the colour palette. She’s going to boil in black with a train.

Spend every August in southern Spain and a long black dress is not something I’d want to wear

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Colour palette for photos is nonsense. You choose your decorations and the bridesmaid dresses etc that's where you get to choose what people wear, other than that it's up to them, a big white lacy frock might be a step too far but other than that someone should wear what they feel comfortable in. Given it's in Spain is it an evening wedding?
People have different tastes, I don't see why she can't wear a black dress.
I wouldn't decorate a wedding with fruit, would never have asked my bridesmaids to wear yellow and DH would've thought I'd lost the plot if I suggested beige suits especially next to yellow dresses, which is why I didn't choose those things for my wedding, you have chosen them for yours. Your MIL gets to choose how she dresses her body.