To tell family member that her husband is sending me nudes?

[5FeetToBeExact]

Hi all,

I'll preface this by saying DH's family are very toxic. This couple for this thread are his god parents and also his uncle (blood) and aunt (through marriage.)

They've always overstepped, been overly involved and just a pain in the arse. But I always kept it polite, kept up with the once a year visit and that was that. They are all heavy drinkers and a few of the family are alcoholics, so it's not something we really enjoy being around but I leave that to DH mostly.

A few years back I completely pulled back as I felt uncomfortable. DH's uncle sent me a picture of his shrivelled 60 year old dick. Waist down. He then quickly said 'sorry that wasn't for you.' I messaged him back saying please don't ever send me anything like that again. He proceeded to delete the image, and said 'no, I'll leave the rest to your imagination ;)'. I then said 'be glad I didn't see it.' I did, I just didn't want him to know that. He then offered to send it again so I could get another look. I then blocked him and haven't heard from either of them since.

I told my DH who was furious. We kept it to ourselves as the family are big drinkers and can do no wrong.

I received a call last night, with a furious aunt on the phone. Saying how selfish we are not to facilitate a relationship with them and our 4 year old DD. That I am selfish, I manipulate everybody and that I have taken their precious god son and nephew away. I was aghast at some of the things they said, but I ended the call and told them not to contact me again. DH has gone apeshit and has my back completely.
His stance is to send her the screenshots or the messages, with a short 'this is why we aren't comfortable around all of you, as well as the alcohol' and block. I am tempted to do this, as the names I were called last night and the things said were unforgivable. I would also want to know if I was her that her husband was sending dick pics to people 40 years his junior!

AIBU to send the messages and be done? Or is this asking for trouble? At advice please. Thank you!

'Although I'm also not sure why you pretended you hadn't seen it because you didn't want him to know you had, when you'd already said "please don't ever send me anything like that again" before he deleted it. So he clearly knew you had seen it?'

@another1bitestheduck

Well to be honest I was a bit shocked, disgusted and I felt uncomfortable. I wasn't really concentrating on what I was saying.

I theres a huge line between drama, and calling someone out for inappropriate sex pest behaviour.

Unfortunately I would be labelled as a liar and a manipulator if I didn't send them. I didn't want to risk that any further.

DH sent the message to her a short while ago.
I can't see them staying silent, they will probably bombard us with withheld calls and if they do we will report them for harassment.

this.
100%
with nobs on 😂

I didn't have the images on my phone, it was still in my archive on fb.

That's pretty much what DH said.

I'm lucky to have him backing me, he's been amazing.

Corrrr this would ruffle some feathers. Good idea though!

You are absolutely correct to give the reason why and if I was her I would want to know my H was doing this too

He’s disgusting

I don't get the value in sending the pic anyway, Let's just say it WAS meant for his wife (however horrendous sending dick pics are).

He would clearly argue the follow up text were a case of embarrassing banter and coming from a pisshead then it would probably be accepted.

Dick pic or not why do you or your DH continue engaging with these people

Oooh. I like this

Just to add, very pleased that your DH is supporting you unequivocally. Makes a refreshing change.

DH made a good point earlier as he thinks it was intentional to see where it would get him.

After the 'sorry it wasn't for you' he would've just left it or moved on to another conversation, but the fact he pushed it, offered to send it again and left it to 'my imagination' he thinks it was intentional.

I mean let's be honest how often does someone click on a profile to message someone, open up their messages, proceed to send a wrinkled dick pick and then send it to the wrong person? It's a lot of hoops to jump through to send to the wrong person. I'd understand if he sent me a picture of a sieve!

Yup send it if you want. Whatever suits you. Horrid people!

Well done for handling this so well op

Send, send, send!

I don't think anyone here believes it was accidental. But I do think his wife will be willing to believe it, or to pretend to believe it.

Absolutely stupendous idea!!

Agree with PP some men shouldn't have access to cameras.

Maybe the option of either a camera phone or a penis, but not both.

I'd have done what your DH has done. Bloody good for him (and you!) In fact, I'd have probably sent the screenshots to any family WhatsApps for good measure, just so everyone gets the real story from you and not some twisted-to-protect-the-nasty-perv version that will no doubt get put about.

You can also block unknown numbers - this includes ones that aren't in your address book, as well as ones that have hidden the numbers.

Of course it was intentional-or why else would he offer to send again?

Good that your husband has sent what he did.

I want to know this too.

If my partner was doing that I would want to know about it. Honesty is - in the long term - usually the best policy.

This. I would not have any text/screenshot evidence coming from my number!

I absolutely would blow the whistle though, they have zero boundaries so it’s time you both pushed back.