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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell family member that her husband is sending me nudes?

403 replies

5FeetToBeExact · 11/11/2024 12:15

Hi all,

I'll preface this by saying DH's family are very toxic. This couple for this thread are his god parents and also his uncle (blood) and aunt (through marriage.)

They've always overstepped, been overly involved and just a pain in the arse. But I always kept it polite, kept up with the once a year visit and that was that. They are all heavy drinkers and a few of the family are alcoholics, so it's not something we really enjoy being around but I leave that to DH mostly.

A few years back I completely pulled back as I felt uncomfortable. DH's uncle sent me a picture of his shrivelled 60 year old dick. Waist down. He then quickly said 'sorry that wasn't for you.' I messaged him back saying please don't ever send me anything like that again. He proceeded to delete the image, and said 'no, I'll leave the rest to your imagination ;)'. I then said 'be glad I didn't see it.' I did, I just didn't want him to know that. He then offered to send it again so I could get another look. I then blocked him and haven't heard from either of them since.

I told my DH who was furious. We kept it to ourselves as the family are big drinkers and can do no wrong.

I received a call last night, with a furious aunt on the phone. Saying how selfish we are not to facilitate a relationship with them and our 4 year old DD. That I am selfish, I manipulate everybody and that I have taken their precious god son and nephew away. I was aghast at some of the things they said, but I ended the call and told them not to contact me again. DH has gone apeshit and has my back completely.
His stance is to send her the screenshots or the messages, with a short 'this is why we aren't comfortable around all of you, as well as the alcohol' and block. I am tempted to do this, as the names I were called last night and the things said were unforgivable. I would also want to know if I was her that her husband was sending dick pics to people 40 years his junior!

AIBU to send the messages and be done? Or is this asking for trouble? At advice please. Thank you!

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5FeetToBeExact · 13/12/2024 17:20

AcrossthePond55 · 13/12/2024 16:00

OK, so wait....there is NO MENTION of the dick pics in anything from the police, particularly in their 'conversation' with him? They spoke to him about threats (good) but nothing about unsolicited obscene images which are actually against the law? That's bullshit.

So women are to now assume unsolicited dick pics are 'no big deal'? That's bullshit.

Correct, no mention at all :(

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5FeetToBeExact · 13/12/2024 20:39

Thank you, @AnnabelC

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