To expect a courtesy email?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

So my husband has a spinal condition which means he often falls. This morning he fell up the stairs with two hot cups of coffee. He's OK but clearly shaken as am I. The walls are a disaster but that's not important!
At 6.59 I emailed the school where I have been teaching since September to explain the situation. I informed Head, Deputy Head (both non-teaching) and also my job share. I also called the school office as per policy. It's the first time I've been off at this new school.
It's now 9.19 and I've not even had an acknowledgement of my email or a quick "Are you OK" message.
AIBU to have expected one?
I know with absolute certainty my other previous schools would have checked in.

Ok, well make sure that they know about your circumstances.

@KateDelRick Surely that will give them potential reason to terminate the contract?

Do you think they'd terminate your contract on the grounds of your husband's disability and your mental health problems? They can't and they won't.

@KateDelRick If I have to take time off then yes. As PPs said, any time off will go against me over this probation period. It's pretty imperative I'm in school as near to 100% attendance as possible.

Few things stand out, you’re on M6 but PT so presumably coming out with similar wages to your DH. So an approximate combined income of £3.6k per month. Your rent and council tax is £1.5k, that leaves approx £2k for food, petrol, gas and electric. I’m struggling to see how neither of you have £64.50 left in either of your accounts to split the water bill this early on in the month? Are there financial management issues going on as well as your DH generally not caring about the house, or accepting his limitations. He sounds quite useless at taking responsibility.

I come out with £1400 p/m net, @goneandwent. He comes out with £1800. I have 3 kids (2 shared care) so I'm sure you can appreciate (or not?) how we don't have any spare.

That’s just beyond rude. They’re a school and are teaching children to be thoughtful of others and are teaching children how to be good communicators. How ironic!
Bet you’re glad you don’t work there anymore.

Yes can totally appreciate what it is to live on a budget. So your combined income is £3.2k leaving £1.7k after rent and council tax. Averagely gas and electric is £250, even if petrol for the month is as much as £300 you’re still left with £1150 for food. Half the time it is you, your DH and your young child. The other half you have teens. I have teens who eat me out of house and home and live here FT. Our food bill is around £600pm for a family of 4, which many think is excessive! But it does disappear. So even if your food came to £600pm which would be extremely surprising as it’s just 3 of you half the month that would still leave you with £550 for fun/other bills. There are obviously other issues going on if both you and your DH can’t find enough to cover the water bill and how could you not know it was due? Does all the responsibility fall to you for everything? It seems that way.

What did you do with your ex's settlement?
You said it wasn't enough to buy a 3 bed. You could have bought a studio or a one bed, and rent it out? Just to have some income.

Or even a 2 bed with a small mortgage?

This financial set up is not sustainable.

You should have a joint account to cover all household bills and shopping. You and DH should both pay into the joint account proportional to your incomes.
The water should be on a monthly direct debit.

It is simply not good enough for him to say he "doesn't have enough". Where is his sense of responsibility? Teamwork? Being in it together?

You cannot rescue a man who just puts his head in the sand.

Because £1700 a month should realistically be enough for utilities, food and other costs for a month.

My experience of working in a school is that between 8am and 10am is bedlam. Nightmare traffic queues and late buses resulting in hassled staff and late kids means that this time of the day is far more focused on the children being in school rather than adults that aren't there. I haven't RTFT but I'm sure someone will contact you later in the morning.
Hopefully your DH is on the mend 💐

@Completelyjo Do you also live on a similar total income? Be interested to hear how you manage it as we find it very tight. Especially for Christmas and obviously can't afford holdiays etc.

@Goneandwent A two bed for a family of 5? A 4 yo, 14 yo and 17 yo? Yes that seems a fair settlement(!)
Perhaps I could even ask to rent out one of the wings of the house my ex now resides in?

I think you should have called as well. In most places of work you need to speak to people to say you're not coming in,

@luckylavender I did - as said before, I called the office number given as per policy and left a voice mail as nobody starts working there until 8.30. We need to inform of absence by 7.30 latest.

I hope things have improved

But you weren’t a family of 5 when you got divorced. You were a family of 3 with shared custody, so buying a 2 bed for you and your 2 children at the time who would have had to share a room half the month wasn’t out of the question surely?
We live on a combined income of around £4k a month for a family of 4, with 2 teen boys who eat their own weight in food everyday and lengthy commutes to work, so probably not too dissimilar to your left over income. You conveniently haven’t addressed how £1700 isn’t enough to cover your utilities and food? You’re also very defensive. Are you covering for your DH being useless with money management on top of everything else or do you share that trait. As things stand with you in burn out and him being blasé about his disability it’s a recipe for disaster. If you can’t navigate a water bill without disagreement how will a chronic disability be something you can manage with. I think you both need to communicate a whole lot more and be honest about where things are falling short.