To expect a courtesy email?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

So my husband has a spinal condition which means he often falls. This morning he fell up the stairs with two hot cups of coffee. He's OK but clearly shaken as am I. The walls are a disaster but that's not important!
At 6.59 I emailed the school where I have been teaching since September to explain the situation. I informed Head, Deputy Head (both non-teaching) and also my job share. I also called the school office as per policy. It's the first time I've been off at this new school.
It's now 9.19 and I've not even had an acknowledgement of my email or a quick "Are you OK" message.
AIBU to have expected one?
I know with absolute certainty my other previous schools would have checked in.

Wow. That's awful. Now he lives in a fancy property! I'd be seething.

It's 9.20 on a school morning do you honestly think their priorities lie with checking in on you instead dog covering your shift.

@KateDelRick Complete with hot tub and swimming pool may I add!
But again, tbf to him again he did warn me that if I was to leave him I'd lose the boys and be left penniless.
Better than it was though... couldn't afford bunks for the boys at first so shared the three of us.
At least now they have their own (small) bedrooms.
In the meantime, I have no idea how to pay the rent and bills...

Thinking of selling my car, but work a 10 mi drive so will have to see if buses do-able from our village. And not sure how much I'll get for a knackered old diesel!!! 😄

Op you say your dh is registered disabled at work but are you claiming PIP? You must to help top up wages and help with adaptions etc. Also ask his specialist nurse (i presume he has one) for a home OT assessment. I know tricky if rented but still a risk assessment will help towards any grants etc available .

Op with the greatest of respect to you this situation is unsustainable, you are going to crash and burn very soon if you don't catch a break. You seem to think all your avenues are blocked and that this is to be your life from now on. You have a work break coming up at Christmas, between then and now make a list of what you need to make your situation doable and over Christmas start exploring ways to make it happen. Contact Social Services adults team and ask for an assessment of needs, they may be able to help with adaptations, housing etc. Tell Dh this can't go on and that you are going to take any help offered whether he likes it or not, you'll be well and truly stuck if you get ill too, don't let it get that far 🥰🥰

I agree. It's not sustainable. Your husband has to just come to terms with his situation, and you need to get help.
Is he still working? What's the situation?

husband won't pay it (says hasn't got the money) so no idea what to do.

You said he works
A brilliant dad would find a way to pay the bill between you and him

@cestlavielife The bill is £129 and I have exactly £34 in my account to last until the end of the month. He says he doesn't have enough to cover it either. I get his pay isn't megabucks - he comes out with about £1800 pm.and our monthly rent and council tax alone is £1,500.
He currently works ft as work have made lots of adaptations as advised by occupational health assessors.
I've said he should apply for PIP but he swears he wouldn't get it as he thinks he's not "disabled enough".

You must be on UPS, do you have a TLR post?
It sounds as if your salary is accounted for with expenses, though.

When did you meet your current dh move in with you? What level of contribution has he ever made?

I hope you can work something out for the bill can you pay in instalments?

Use a credit card?

He says he doesn't have enough to cover it either. I get his pay isn't megabucks - he comes out with about £1800 pm.and our monthly rent and council tax alone is £1,500.

So where is the money going?
Do you have a budget? If not, why not?

Your family's setup seems to be all over the place. Financially, practically and emotionally.

If finances are as tight as they seem to be it is imperative that there is a solid framework in place and both partners pull in the same direction.

As it is, you are frazzled, overwhelmed and completely on your own. He absolutely needs to start doing his bit.

They’re too busy trying to organise cover

they are too busy organising your cover

@KateDelRick M6. I've been in the job almost 21 years but reduced to p/t after kids and 3 spaced out MAT leaves. So I guess it's my fault I'm still on M6 really?

In this cycle of Performance Management, you could ask about going up to UPS?. You must have evidence.
What the heck are they doing giving you a "probationary" period anyway? You must have passed that 20 years ago? Get them to drop that, at least it'll reduce your stress a bit.

@KateDelRick I've only been there since September and it's a maternity cover so don't think it will be likely?
They say they this time is counted as a "probationary period" with reviews at 2 months, 6 months, 9 months and year I think it is. I've had my 2 month one just and all good.

Well, that's unusual in teaching, especially calling it a probationary period. Is it a state school? They're usually so grateful for maternity cover.
Anyway. Talk to the HT about your situation, make it clear about what happened on Monday and what your situation is.
Why did you leave your last school?

If he only fell from bed yesterday, hurt his foot, banged his head, has a spinal condition that makes him prone to falling - why on earth was he carrying two hot cups of coffee upstairs!?

@KateDelRick I was at my last school 5 years and the school before that 13 years. Needed to increase my hours from a financial pov but the school's budget couldn't allow for this unfortunately.
It is a state school, sole academy. I've never known a probabationary period like this in teaching either, and been 21 years in the profession soon. Had my first Probationary Review Meeting recently at the two month mark. Next one due at 16 wks in Jan (if I'm still there).

It's most odd. When you have your meeting with the HT, please raise this anomaly. Getting rid of it will take the pressure off, a bit.
Put forward all your issues and be very clear about your situation with your husband and your own mental health.

@KateDelRick I have to be careful as there's also a 7 day notice period.

They can't dismiss you - is this what you're worried about? Are you in a union?

@KateDelRick I am, yes. It's in my contract either party can give 7 days notice to end contract.