Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

I kept my name, it hasn't caused a problem in the last 22years.

FYI children (born in the U.K.) automatically have the mothers last name. That is the tradition.

they only had the fathers last name if the parents were married and therefore the mother had changed her last name. As was the norm for the most part.

it is why “bastard” children were such stigmas as it was somewhat easy to spot children of unmarried mothers as they had the mothers family last name.

when marriage because less common, society somehow convinced everyone that it was the tradition for children to still have the fathers last name regardless.

if you keep your name (as you should if that’s your preference) then your baby will have your last name at birth. Their hospital records and identity braclets will be ‘baby boy / girl CoffeeLover87’
if you decide to give them your husbands name then you’ll have to request a change to the medical info.

i would just keep them as Baby CoffeeLover and add husbands name on the end

I took my husband's name.
No kids.
Hated my abusive parents, hated the place I was born in.
Good riddance.👍

My professional qualifications are in my original name

Husband and I double barrelled and he also changed his name. Felt fair but it's ruffled some feathers.

Married twice, always kept my name, would never have considered changing it. My first MIL was ridiculous about it. I just ignored her (as I did for pretty much everything she said tbh).

I have been stopped twice at airports (in the UK) because my DS has a different surname (we couldn't hyphenate the surnames, they would not work together). First time I was advised to always carry a copy of DS's birth certificate, which I always do. No problems.

kept our own names, never had an issue anywhere in 20 years!
So common now at least half of DCs friends parents have different surnames to each other. The kids have a mix of dad’s surname or mums surname or double barrelled or one surname with the other parents surname as a ‘middle’ name so it shows on a passport.

A woman changing her name is archaic. IMHO. Sharing a surname isn’t what makes a family a family. And as 50% of marriages end in divorce… it’s a risky choice too!

We married in the 90's and I am Ms Myname just as I was before, and his is Mr Hisname. Ds is Mr Myname-Hisname and at 18 still uses his full name (many told me he would drop part as a teenager) and tells me that if/when the time comes to discuss with a partner about their name or a child they will work it out together.
DH never even thought I'd change my name or honorative to the extent we never discussed it before the wedding until someone asked me what my new name would be, then asked what Mr CMOT felt about this. He just looked confused tbh

My DH and I both changed! Decided on a new surname together.

I kept my own, no issues whatsoever.

I kept my surname and it has not caused any issues. I think more people do that now, especially when they have a career and have built a following based on their name.

Yes it's amazing how many women with horrible surnames there are....and if not horrible, just 'awkward' or 'hard to spell' etc.

Amazingly their male relatives manage to struggle through life with these unwieldly surnames though...

Indeed. And statistically, women are also marrying these men who have the same ‘awful’ surname as their sisters.

@another1bitestheduck I have exactly this from a very good friend. Her name was genuinely one that, argubaly, was not great in that it's a word that can be taken as a derogatory word towards a certain group of people. That is her reason for taking her DH's name. And yet, funnily enough, her brother's wife doesn't seem to have had a problem taking their name....

When I took DS to A&E aged 3 months I had to change his name in the records.... they still had him as Baby Jadzia as he'd been born there.

I'm not sure why you are acting like this is such a big deal. Many women change their name when they get married (I did) and many don't. Most people don't care.

I didn't want to change mine but wanted to be the same as any children. Double barrelled would only have sounded right Mrs Maiden-Married which would have got shortened to mrs maiden due to being a teacher. I thought that sounded like I married my dad though 🤨

I have my maiden name as a middle name so it's there on official stuff like driving licence. Could do the opposite

I have never changed my surname, the Dc have both our names. I felt very strongly that the Dc should not have father’s alone.

I would never have been Mrs, and have been Ms since I was 14 and was outraged that women’s titles denote marital status while men’s don’t.

And I never use the term ‘maiden name’ . Maiden !

Is it definitely legally okay to use both so? I’m in Ireland and do use both but was never quite sure if it was officially allowed 😅

@potatocakesinprogress probably. I know someone who did this and caused them no issues but as it happened it didn’t come up for us. I don’t see how it makes any difference. It’s not like we are a musical group in the 70s and need a group identity,

Kept pre marriage surname. Saved a lot of hassle especially after the D.

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle at airports personally.

It’s not a big deal to bring a birth cert copy to prove PR and you could equally be asked if you share a surname. Not like uncles don’t traffic nieces. And i personally would be happy to answer any question if it would make the official more likely to ask the next person who may not be what they seem. Cooperating with this helps stop child trafficking- I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to, Hassle at airports - liquid or security rules is all part of it,

To be fair I’ve only been asked once ever. And I’ve travelled alone with DS many, many times. Show his birth cert - no issue. Official told me they are supposed to ask a lot but funds it awkward cause people get annoyed, I told him that I had no issue whatsoever with his questions and if it meant just one child was helped that was well worth it,

I haven't changed mine but I wish I'd pushed harder for my kids to have my surname. Can't really fathom now why I accepted the status quo. I have their little hospital tags with 'Baby MySurname' and I do feel a pang of regret. But not strong enough for me to change my own name.