Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

Kept mine. Use the title Ms as I'm not a miss but I can't be Mrs. Maiden name. 4 kids have dad's surname. 0 issues. I might double barrel mine later. But probably wont

If you have children, please don't relegate your surname to middle name. Give them your surname as a surname. They could have two surnames (with or without a hyphen) or if that's too long and unwieldy, make their father's surname the middle name.

I changed mine to his and regretted it ever since especially as he is now a ex husband

I kept my name, but now I slightly wish I had taken his. It's a nice name, and would have been a new start for a new stage of life. I mostly kept it because my name was known in my professional life, but I could have carried on using it for that.

Kept mine.
No issues.
But I think I wish I had done what a lot of friends have done. Which is used my married name At home. And maiden at work.

And with kids. We double barrelled.

I think I'd rather us all have the same name.

All these people who are giving their DC double-barrelled names - what happens when they marry and have children - will they be quadruple-barrelled? 😆

I surprised people by changing my name. My DH died a few years after we married and I like still having his name.

DT’s have double barrelled - it’s very long and complicated to spell but it was worth it to have both our family names included. DT’s can decide for themselves what they do for future generations.

I kept mine. My DC have both last names, hyphenated. There’s never been a problem, with me keeping my name or the DC having both names. Sometimes I get called their name but it doesn’t matter, I just correct the person or let it go.

I had my name for as long as my DH, why should I have to change it but he gets to keep his? Makes no sense.

I assume when they’re old enough to get married they’ll also be mature enough to discuss with their partner what they’ll do about names. If they can’t they’re not mature enough to get married.

Kept my name in every official sense. Use married name for signing anything school related for simplicity. Kids have Dad's surname.

The same thing as everyone else, they make a decision about what the child will be called.

I chose Ms as a teenager, kept my name on marriage and gave dc mine. I would never not have the same surname as my children.

Pushback from ex MIL but she's always been disrespectful.

As the divorce rate is so high and women nearly always become the resident parent, it makes far more practical sense for children to have their mothers name. Fortunately it's becoming far more common. About bloody time!

Kept my maiden name.
Kids have my last name.
DH is just happy I married him and had his babies.
His family were a bit put out though.
I didn't have to change driving license/passport etc. So it's probably been easier.

I do have lots of school paperwork (ehcps) as Mr and Mrs DHs last name, when I explain we have different last names I get Mr DHs last name and Miss my last name. Seems people can't understand we're married and I kept my maiden name.
Even once had Mr and Mrs my last name, don't think I've ever had it correctly written though.

I heartily agree!

It's a pleasant surprise to know that so many women here are keeping their names and fewer have adopted their husband's surname! It's quite the opposite of what I initially thought. (Could this just be a Mumsnet thing, or is it that women who are more vocal have commented on this thread?) Not sure, as most of my friends have taken their husband's surname.
Another point that really struck a chord with me is the hassle it would save in case of a future divorce (obviously, no one wants that!). It's just reinforced my thoughts about keeping my maiden name.

Bingo!

I fully expect my great grandchildren to have eight surnames.

Unless they make their own choices , their own decisions, as their parents did.

And am sorry to hear about your DH and glad you get comfort from your own decision

Why would they be? There’s several options including just simply keeping their own names.

Double barrelling seems like the fairest option. There was no way my DC weren’t getting my name.

I was joking!

In France they gave up using Mademoiselle on official documents about ten years ago and every adult woman is now officially called Madame, regardless of her married status.

However, they don't let you give your daughters their mother's name and your sons their father's (or vice versa). The rule is that all children born of the same "bed" (by which they mean having the same mother and the same father) must legally have the same surname.
.

Were they born in the Uk?

No

I got married 25 years ago and changed my name with out thought.

When I got married for the second time 9 years ago I really considered it. I did change my name in the end because I had an abusive childhood and an abusive first marriage so I didn't want my name to be connected to anyone but my new husband.

I do firmly believe women keeping their name should be the norm though. And that children should have the mothers name or a double-barrelled name

Kept my name. No issues so far (8or so yrs in).
DH’s last name for the kids.
I have no attachment to my last name however dread all the paperwork that needs to be done so won’t be doing it. After so many years with my last name it’d be weird for me to respond to a different one.

I just believe they should have a choice