Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

Sorry i meant virtually all the posters on here say they keep their original name when in fact this is not reflected in what i see in real life in lots of age groups
hope that's cleared that up

I often wonder how children with double barreled names will name their own children if their spouse also has a double barreled name.
Will their children have quadruple barreled names? And their children… ?

I kept my name and when we have kids we will double barrel. I don’t see why women should change their name or why the kids should get their dad’s name when the women do most of the work and provide all the mitochondrial dna. It’s even more surprising to me when unmarried couples give kids the dad’s name.

Kept my own name - zero issues. Our kids have my husbands surname but put my surname as one of their middle names too. Hasn't made any difference to our lives and I don't feel weird not having same name as my kids - we're still a family.

Do you really often wonder this?

My DC may choose one of their names to pass on or create a new family name or use their partner/spouse’s name.

Pretty much everyone in Spain has 2 surnames and they manage.

I kept mine when I got married, my DC have my DH’s surname, if I travel abroad with the DC’s without my DH I have to take their birth certificates with me to prove I’m their mother at passport control. Only been asked once at passport control in Paris but would have been tricky if I didn’t have proof of ownership 😂

Otherwise 20+ years and no problems.

I kept my maiden name. We gave the children his surname. This has never been a problem either with schools or travelling alone with the children.

The only issue we've ever had is occasional cheques (almost a thing of the past now!) from relatives made out to me with his surname, but this was resolved by taking the marriage certificate into the bank - it was going into a joint account anyway.

Keep your name, give your children your name. Your husband can change if he wants to. Problem solved.

Think about who will be first point of contact for kids. Who'll be contacted the school, take them to GP appts etc? If it's you (and it usually is), it makes sense for them to have your name.

I've been married for over 40 years. I kept my name as it was important to my identity. My eldest has my surname and dd2 has my husband's. My daughters are both married and neither has changed their surname. A couple of people expressed surprise but there have been no real problems.

They do whatever they like, just like everyone else! There are no rules!

I know one very posh family with 3 names in a row. I wouldn't do it myself as it's too long to write or say so would be a pain from a logistical point of view. Other people both take the one double barrel or the other. Others pick the two best-sounding names together from each of the double barrels. It really doesn't matter!

I had the following issues when keeping my maiden name about 20 years ago:

1. Rightly or wrongly, when I was with DH I wanted to be Mr & Mrs and use my married name. So I changed my passport to my married name plus changed it on the Electoral Roll.
2. Professionally, I decided to continue using my maiden name.
3. I kept all my finances, bank accounts etc in my maiden name. One bank that was new to me wouldn’t let me open an account in my maiden name. Another bank where I had a long-standing account got very awkward with me because they hadn’t scanned my signature in properly. When I went to give a sample signature again (exactly same signature and same name BTW) they insisted that the two didn’t match. By that time I didn’t have sufficient ID in my maiden name any more.
4. I began to get confused on some occasions on who I was meant to be.

So my advice would be that whatever you decide, BE CONSISTENT for every situation. Lots of the younger mums at DS’s school use their maiden names for everything. The only difficulty seems to be at airports, where their name doesn’t match their child’s and Passport Control then start quizzing their kids as to who the lady with them is.

You could be describing me. Married in 20s. Changed name. Widowed at 40 and married again later on. I changed names again because i wanted to. No kids involved

I am not in the slightest bit surprised you're getting divorced! Huge red flag.

this comment always pops up...🙄

I took DH surname. No regrets but I did have a fit of nostalgia at the last minute so made my old name into a second middle name (changed by deed poll, piece of cake). Kids will probs have my old surname as a middle name, too.

(Was a bit put out when MIL bought Mr&Mrs Hisname shit for our wedding though - I hadn't decided at that point and nearly didn't change it out of pure spite.)

Keep you birth name, Just as your husband will.

Kept mine. A few cards etc addressed to us both by his surname (from my family 😁). Kids have his surname with mine as middle name (not double barrelled).

Too much paperwork to change my name so I didn't bother. DH didn't care at all. In fact, he said I should keep my name.

(Apologies for the random Gif, I can't delete it!)

I kept mine, no issues at all. We all have different surnames, my dh, my dd and me and it's never cause problems

Sometimes you just have to laugh! That's ridiculous on so many levels - that they think they have a say, and that it's all so arbitrary.

I kept mine but also double-barrelled, not officially though so everything like passport, driving licence, mortgage, bank was still my maiden name.

When we split I had a massive problem with work and HR refusing to change it back to my maiden name because I didn't have a divorce certificate.

Kept my name and gave kids mine too !

I'm always amazed how many people on this board are blissfully unaware of Spanish language naming traditions. One of our closest neighbours, visited by huge numbers of us, and followed in so many other countries too.

I think the Queen (Elizabeth II) did, otherwise she would have been known as Elizabeth Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg

(Prince Philip's family name)

I use a mix'n'match approach - kept my own name professionally and for some home stuff, use married name for other stuff (mostly related for DCs).

I am here mostly to make the PSA that you can have both your names in your passport. There is a section in the application where you can request to have a previous name listed. As I recall, this only works if you have held a passport in that name before. Makes ID much easier as I can use my passport for both my names.

Nowadays would not have changed it at all (my DCs are all adults - I am old!). Just to tie up all up, was Ms from teens until I became Dr. Instead you get businesses assuming the Dr. must be the man..

I wanted to keep my name, but dh husband didn't agree, so foolishly I changed it.
He has recently left and is filing for a divorce. I really wish I had kept it now!