Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

Husband throwing hissy fit over wife keeping her own name is the reddest of red flags.

Maybe you don't have professional qualifications and a professional reputation that you built up while using your first husband's name?

Kept mine. No regrets. No issues.

Our daughter has both, double-barrelled. No issues other than when she was learning to write it would take practically the whole lesson to put her name on the page - her first name plus surname is 24 letters and a hyphen. That stage quickly passed though!😀

I don’t know anybody who kept their own name after marriage, so I changed mine for everything except work. I feel like a lot of women lose their identify when they become wives and mothers, so having my own name in work helps me keep part of myself, especially since I prefer my name to my husband’s. I also still haven’t updated my passport after getting married so that’s another reason.

I don't think it matters either way but please be helpful to people and let them know how you like to be addressed. eg Ms Firstname Maidenname and Mr Hisname.

I took DH's name, it was shorter and much nearer the start of the alphabet, I was tired of being last on every list. I like having a family name and we married quite young so all my professional quals etc are in my married name. But appreciate not everyone would make the same choice.

It is. Run away screaming.

I kept my name. DC’s are double barrelled.

I kept mine. The kids have both, not hyphenated because I don't like the way it looks, and people often put a hyphen in, but who cares really. We were all going to change to both but never got around to it in the end. I'm glad I didn't give up my name.

I've seen people who've combined their names to make a non-hyphenated single name but you need the right surnames to start with e.g. Brown + Low = Brownlow.

Oh and my PIL always address things to Mrs (DH surname) and the kids as DH surname only but it's not passive aggressive, they just forget. I don't mind.

The expression "maiden name" needs to be consigned to history whether women change their names or not. Does anyone ask men if they are keeping their "virgin name"? Perhaps we should start, to showcase how ridiculous it is.

I kept mine and children have my surname with husbands surname as their middle name. Nobody has ever commented. No other women I know have given children their name despite a few not changing their own name when marrying.
Each to their own
Although I do inwardly cringe a little when women change their names as it seems so ridiculous but I have never commented on it to them since it's not my business

I didn't change my name. Kids have DH's name because I qasn't keen on double barrelling but in hindsight I wish I'd given the DDs my name folowing the icelandic model. No issues with us having different names though. MIL comes from a country where women don't change their name so DH was used to it as a concept.

@MumonabikeE5 @CoffeeLover87 this also happened to me, they asked if I had permission to travel with my children as we do not share the same surname. London > Belfast, UK.

We did this too, we have two DDs so they have my surname with DH’s as a second middle name. If they want to use DH’s name when they’re older then I’d have no issue with that. Our names don’t double barrel, and in any event that just kicks the can down a generation.

DH’s family have never quite grasped the concept that the girls have my surname, and he was always addressed as “Mr Lizard” by primary school despite them having his name on their files. That one did surprise me as I’d have thought plenty of kids have unmarried parents so they should really check before they call.

I had a god almighty row with my ex about keeping my name, apparently I didn't believe in marriage because I wouldn't take his name, he threatened to call off the wedding. I wish I had let him now!

I wouldn’t want my children to have a different name to mine - unless your kids take your name.
I kept my maiden name at work and changed to married name everywhere else.
Will your husband consider changing to yours?

I changed my surname to my husband's and added my maiden name as an extra middle name by deed poll.

Professionally I was still known by my maiden name, but at home I really like the fact that we all have the same surname. I also quite like my husband's surname.

So don’t give your children your husband’s name! It’s really not hard!

Took my husband’s because it was less of a mouthful than mine.
We’re retiring soon to my families ancestral country though so we’ll probably both go double barrelled (yes, even more of a mouthful 😁)

Well it could be if the OP’s husband wants his future children to have his name.

Quite. My husband doesn't like it, but knows there's bugger all he can do about it and that, ultimately, it's my own decision. If he'd thrown a strop about it I would have had serious second thoughts about the marriage!

Luton. And Stansted. Going to the Balearics
my kids look like me.
they weren’t crying or looking worried.
it was a standard question.

I kept my name. Not for professional reasons. Changing it would have been like changing my first name. It’s MY name. The kids have his surname and it bothers me not a bit. Whenever I’m called Mrs Hislastname I quickly say ‘call me Sue’, because I prefer to be addressed by my first name.

I kept mine - no issues aside from occasional birthday cheques from elderly relatives who forget that I didn’t take my husband’s name. The kids have my husband’s name, so I travel with copies of their birth certificates alongside their passports if we’re going abroad without my husband - it’s never been issue though, and I’ve never had to show them.