Keeping maiden name after marriage.

[CoffeeLover87]

Hey everyone! So my partner and I have been together for 5 years now and we've finally decided to tie the knot. Super excited! But I'm not really keen on changing my surname after we get married. I've always had my name and I quite like it.
Just wondering what others have done - did you take your husband's name or keep your own? Any regrets either way? For those who kept their maiden name, has it caused any issues?

I changed my name but I was in my mid 20s and not the women I am today.

If I got married today, I would keep my surname and our children would have my surname. My DH could choose to do as he pleases.

Me too. I’ve always used Ms - before and after marriage.

I think this is the best model (also the Spanish model).

We didn't do this, I kept mine (zero regrets, zero issues). Not because I especially like it, but it was mine! If I am called by my husband's name, I feel like my MIL. Also, it feels medieval and against everything I stand for.

My advice, is give the kids your surname. Even if you don't make it double barrelled. So what I did was call the kids (example): Sophie Rose Smith Roberts, with Smith being my name. The child is called Sophie Roberts and the Smith is basically one of her first names, so day to day my name is not used. But where it has been useful is when travelling abroad without my husband, as my kids and I have different names on passports. It's happened a couple of times that the border police start asking vague questions and the minute I refer them to the fact my kids have my surname in their passport, it completely stops those questions.

I still use 'Miss' officially much to MILs disdain. The more disdain she shows the less of a rush I'm in to change it.

I am married Ms MyName. I will never use Mrs. I feel really strongly about it.

Same.

Kept my name - it felt like I’d be changing my identity a bit?

we also used my name for our child - when you think about it, aside from tradition there is no other logical reason not to!

So if you had a girl they'd have a different surname to their brother?

It also annoys me. I switched to Ms whilst a student and have kept it.

We both took each others and double barrelled my name-his name. The woman being expected to give up such an important part of her identity and connection to her family is not a tradition I am prepared to carry on.

I am also a Ms, have been since I was a teenager and it annoyed me how insanely sexist it is that women’s titles were dependant on their marital status rather than their age like men.

Husband took my surname when we married, we are both very happy. It's a lovely name and not common, I also wanted to keep the connection with my dad who I'd already lost 5 years before. Our DS has my dad's first name as his middle name and surname too obvs. So happy with our decision and no problems at all

I kept my name, and my DCs have it as their middle name.
I wanted DD to have my surname but DH didn't and I didn't insist.
I can't believe this is still an argument 20 years after I got married.
I work in a professional context where to some extent your name is your calling card. Everyone assumes my name has always been mine.
But with the DCs and especially DS because he has SEN we see shed loads of professionals and they always assume we aren't married because we have different last names. I'm not sure if it's because they've been taught not to make assumptions or because the divorce rate is high if you have children with SEN.
One even asked if DH "didn't want to make an honest woman of me"!!!! In 2024!

Depends what the name is, I know a fair few Cockburns and Paynes that went with the other's surname.

I call myself Ms Myname, but I don't freak out if I get Xmas cards from my DH friends, or even the school, addressed to Mrs DHname. I don't care, I just never call myself that.

Wouldn’t dream of changing my name. Kids have both parents names. Tbh wish I’d just given them my surname, but they can decide for themselves if they want to change things.

We merged

I came through passport control at Heathrow a few weeks ago and there was a sign that said be prepared to answer questions if your children have a different surname to the guardian they are traveling with.

Funnily enough, my husband is from the Middle East, where women definitely do not take their husbands names!

I took his because I want us all to have the same surname, but when we're in the ME it sounds like he's married his cousin on paper 🙃.

I love having a 'family name'.

Totally up to you!
I didn't mind changing my name to the same as my husband's even though I did like my own name.
10 years down the line and we have a 5 year old I love my name and I have the same surname as my daughter.
I like how we are the 'moserroth' family.
To the outside world I don't think anyone cares!
It bothers 1 of my friends that she doesn't have the same surname as her child..
But on the other hand...it doesn't bother my other friend.

I have spoke about this with my husband and he was really bothered when I said that if we weren't married/had the same surname I would have gave our daughter my surname....

I kept my name and the kids have my husband's last name.

Changed my name to my new husbands because he kicked up a right stink when I announced I wanted to keep my maiden name. Regretted it ever since. Now we're getting divorced I plan to change it back, but it is a real pain to do. Will NEVER change it again

I referred to my myself as Ms from the age of 16. It used to really annoy me that people would actually go to the trouble to ask how I should be referred to and then call me Miss or Mrs anyway.
Men don’t have a title that shows the world what their couple status is, why should we?

I wish I’d kept my name and double barrelled the kids.

Can you double-barrel it?

My daughters have my surname and my sons have my husband's, all full siblings. It isn't odd to them, it's just their "normal".

Kept mine. Husband took mine. Some organisations were baffled about how to change a man’s surname following marriage (answer was always “in the same way you would for a woman”). Otherwise no issues.

I did put in the invite that following marriage we would be known as Mr & Mrs xxxx so everyone was aware up front.